<p>@KiaraInNYC
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<p>I think you should check your geography. If you venture to other countries you will see the ‘world’ is far from a monolithically white construct. </p>
<p>My kids and I discussed this thread, and it strongly reaffirmed that our “just live life” approach is the way to go.</p>
<p>We have realized we are going to be called names and jeered at either way, so why the heck bother. It like appeasing a bully; it does not matter, as one just get more bullying anyway. The goal post of what to bug us about will just be moved anyway, and the problem never goes away.</p>
<p>To set the context, we pay no attention to anything such as micro-aggressions and things that set off the “check your privilege” attitudes or comments. So, why do we not even care anymore? Because it is impossible to live life on pins and needles 24/7 and also be a stable, happy, functional human being. </p>
<p>The only way to avoid these so-called micro-aggressions and the “check your privilege” incidents is to know everything about everyone you meet BEFORE you meet them. Then prior to engaging in any conversation, everything is filtered through some comparative, politically-correct lens trying to ascertain where and if our lives have more advantages than their lives in every conceivable area of possible discussion. Then EVERY sentence of conversation is carefully chosen, as to make sure we do not say something, which indicates we have / had a better life or advantage or say anything that minutely offends the other party in any way. </p>
<p>Has anyone realized such fore-knowledge about every person we meet is impossible to have, thus, there is virtually no way to avoid micro-aggressions and “check your privilege” situations on a per person basis or even on a group basis, for that matter? And if we look at someone and based on his race make certain assumptions and change our conversation, then we are no different than any other racist - so we do not do that either. Yet, if we treat everyone equal and speak like we would around anyone else, then we are racist, i.e., micro-aggressors and flaunting our privilege. Yep, we are screwed either way.</p>
<p>But I go one step further. Even if such fore-knowledge were possible, what a really silly way to live and converse. Personally, my kids and I enjoy it if people we talk to are just themselves and do not filter or couch their words based on some perceived made-up micro-aggression or privilege they think we said or have. What fake living. Just be civil and courteous, but darn it, be yourselves. </p>
<p>People need to get over the fact that not everyone or every family is equal in anything and others have more and do more than others. And others have less in many ways. So what? Welcome to reality. Why not simply live your life, be happy with what you have, work hard, and stop being jealous and envious over someone else’s life. Such continuous comparisons must be a tiring, sad way to live.</p>
<p>Life is awesome if you are just yourself and not tying yourself in knots trying to please the politically-correct police. We are watching this spectacle from afar and will never join it. All we see is a bunch of squabbling, not happy people. You can have that life all to yourself.</p>
<p>In several states, whites are not the majority, so you don’t even need to leave the shelter of the USA if you want to get away from pale people.
<a href=“In 2014, Latinos will surpass whites as largest racial/ethnic group in California | Pew Research Center”>http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/01/24/in-2014-latinos-will-surpass-whites-as-largest-racialethnic-group-in-california/</a></p>
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<p>I’m unsure how the needs of one ethnic group differ substantially from another.</p>
<p>For instance, how do the needs of my family -two adults - white, with two kids, one dog differ from our neighbors up the street- Malaysian, two kids, one dog?
Or for that matter with our next door neighbors, one Hispanic, one African American with three kids, but no dog?</p>
<p>Socio economically our neighbors next door are a bit higher on the pecking order, given that they have fancier jobs and house, with more education, but basically the needs are the same.
Shelter, work, family, community.
We all need that don’t we?</p>
<p>As long as you keep an open mind I don’tsee how you would need to walk on pins and needles. But your attitude, “just get over it” and stuff about “made up privileges” is pretty dismissive. Not everyone wants to just take the crap society gives them. All this stuff is, is don’t assume everyone lives in the same little bubble as you do. If being yourself is saying ignorant stuff about minorities and then following with hurr durr how should i know what offends and demeans certain minorities, im part of the majority silly, then maybe just be civil and courteous and skip the third part until you properly understand the person and their circumstances. </p>
<p>Saying “check your privilege” is offensive to whites. Please add that to your list of what offends and demeans other people. Thanks. </p>
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<p>I think we can all agree on this.</p>
<p>We can choose what we respond to.
I find that I have finite time & energy, so I chose to spend most of it in channels that are making a difference rather than trying to fight against something that is gasping for it’s dying breath anyway.</p>
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<p>Exactly, that is why we do not care anymore. It seems that some have forgotten that white people live in society as well. Yep, not all white people want to take the crap society gives them. Welcome to equality.</p>
<p>There are too many privileged people on this thread</p>
<p>And they are so fortunate to have someone put them in their place :-" </p>
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There’s a flip side to this, though–people who don’t like the idea that they are privileged will focus on the trivial examples in order to discredit the more serious ones. This is, in my opinion, a typical misuse of the “slippery slope” argument. Part of the problem, I think, is that some of the more serious problems are harder to see, and to prove. I mean, nobody ever followed me around in a store. I never had trouble hailing a taxi. Why should I believe this is a problem for other people? But even I know what color band-aids are. Again, though, if I give five examples of something, and somebody refutes the most trivial example, that doesn’t mean they’ve deflated my whole argument.</p>
<p>I thought the example of handedness was a pretty good one. It’s not a “privilege,” exactly, to be right-handed, but if you’re left-handed, and the school has only right-handed desks (remember those?) it’s certainly a disadvantage. It’s better if decision-makers take into account the fact that a certain percentage of the population is left-handed. How would we react if somebody said, “All those supposedly left-handed people should just learn to use their right hands like normal people?” (We still hear such statements all the time about poor people, and also about gay people, although not as often as in the past.) I think we’d try to educate such a person, and persuade him, but a time might come when we’d simply be frustrated if he doesn’t change his view. Then we might say, “Check your handed-ness privilege.” (Which is also, Bay, the answer to your question of whether I would say the same thing to a black person as a white person in such a conversation–what should I assume from the fact that you felt the need to ask this question?)</p>
<p>@Bay You keep missing the point!!! Being white is not the only privilege. There is privilege in sexuality, ablebodiedness, religion, socioeconomic status, education… The fact that you think the world is out to get you because you are white shows how you don’t understand what it actually means to check your privilege. No one is saying being privileged is bad. It isn’t! I am very privileged even though I am a black female. There are varying degrees is different categories. </p>
<p>@Hunt Very insightful contribution! So many on here have tried to address the trivial examples, but are ignoring the bigger issues. </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Well, now it sound like the point is simply some people have it easier than others for a variety of reasons. Duh!</p>
<p>The trivial examples like shoes and bandaids and body stockings and mesh leggings. </p>
<p>While there are some annoyances to lefties in a right-handed world, rather than being outraged at how the world is catering to those privileged righties, one makes do. One gets to class early and pulls over the desk next to them to use the desktop (rarely is there a problem of insufficient #s of desks), one sits on the left side of tables when out with friends so as to try not to poke the others with ones elbow (and yes, its a privilege to eat out, we get it), etc. To make a calamity out of every triviality insults and dilutes the real issues.</p>
<p>How would folks respond to a person who said one of the following statements:
- I don’t know why people complain about the size of seats in economy class on airplanes. I’ve always found them to be big enough.
- I don’t know why people complain about the size of seats in economy class on airplanes. If they want bigger seats, they should just buy Economy Plus or Business Class.
- I don’t know why people complain about the size of seats in economy class on airplanes. If they don’t like it, why don’t they just take the bus, or stay home?
- I don’t know why people complain about the size of seats in economy class on airplanes. If they’re too fat to fit in the seat, they should just lose weight.
- Economy class seats are pretty small, but people need to realize that there is a trade-off between cost and comfort.</p>
<p>Added note: would your answer change if the person who just said this is the president of the airline, as opposed to just another passenger?</p>
<p>Lets complain about the cost of the seats, or the permission to bring pets on board despite other passengers having allergies, or peanut snacks as a risk to those with allergies, or people who try to bring too many or too large carryons because of the cost of checked bags or the risk of having the bag lost or stolen, or the people who hog the armrests. Or the plight of the very tall passengers who cant fit in the seats too. Lots of issues for those not of “privilege”.</p>
<p>Oh wait, what about the people who sit on the window seat and have poor bladder capacity and get up a million times during the flight? Or those who are assigned a center seat but sit in the window or aisle and expect the person to take their seat. Or the friends and family of airline employees who get to fly non res and often get put in the better ( business class/first class) seats as well.So many privileged people to comp[lain about- its hard to know where to start.</p>
<p>Just my opinion, but I think that terminology matters. It bothers me to see the term “privilege” applied to basic human rights, in which I would include freedoms guaranteed in the Bill of Rights, freedom from fear, freedom from want (from Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms speech), and rights guaranteed by other Constitutional amendments, including freedom from discrimination. It is not a privilege for these conditions to apply–it is a fundamental human right. Lack of these freedoms is not a lack of privilege, it is a denial of basic human rights, and it ought to bring outcry, followed by absolute guarantee of the rights.</p>
<p>Is it a “privilege” not to be trailed suspiciously through a store? No. It is a fundamental expectation for civility. Is it a “privilege” to be able to drive through a wealthy neighborhood in an expensive car without being stopped? No. It is a fundamental expectation for civility. </p>
<p>Thinking about the situation of the young women in Nigeria who were abducted from their school: Is it a privilege to have access to schooling, particularly at the pre-college level? In my opinion, it is not. This should be a fundamental expectation in every civil society. I am very fortunate to live in a society where young women can pursue education free of the fear of abduction (generally, anyway). But that is not my “privilege.” It should be a fundamental right for all young women.</p>
<p>In my view, “privilege” is something that is granted by someone else, and could be taken away. Rights inhere in every individual, and they cannot be taken away, although they can be violated. Violation of rights is a gross injustice, and we should all be deeply concerned when that happens. Labeling rights as “privilege” in my opinion reduces the expectation that they will be honored universally.</p>
<p>I can’t get too worked up over lack of the things that I consider to be genuine signs of “privilege,” as opposed to rights, e.g., sterling silver baby spoons, cruises offered by my alumni association that I cannot taken under any reasonable economic scenario, daily Starbucks, designer items, cars with way less mileage than ours. It’s very nice if one can have these, but they aren’t essential. Treating everyone with dignity is essential, and it is not a “privilege” to be so treated–we ought to insist on it for everyone.</p>
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So, jym, you think the economy class seats are big enough? Or are you saying that nobody should complain about anything? Or that it should be obvious what complaints are trivial and what complaints are important? I guess I just don’t understand why some people seem so annoyed by the idea that there are certain benefits some of us get for status reasons, including race, sex, etc., and that we should be aware of that. I picked the airline seat example, because it provides an example of “privilege” that could result from being 5"2" and 98 pounds. If the airline president was small, and made statement #1, I’d find that pretty clueless.</p>