Cher's daughter, Chastity Bono, is changing gender

Parent Cafe
361

<p>

</p>

<p>Oh dear, I neglected to tell our much loved son that he is the product of a “problematic method,” though he does know the facts of his conception. Does that make him a “problem,” CM? Problematic woman that I am, I actually convinced him that he was much wanted and is much loved. </p>

<p>And why do I not have a “right” to my son? He carries my DNA and that of my husband. (Not that I think that is a determining factor, but donated ova and sperm were singled out for special scorn.)</p>

<p>Judge not…</p>

362

<p>Mafool,
Ironic how the pregnancies that were so desired and costly and effortful are considered “problematic”, but those that occurred in the back seat of mom and dad’s Cadillac are not…</p>

363

<p>

</p>

<p>How, then, do you explain the thousands of older kids currently waiting to be adopted, kids that, in some states, gay and lesbian couples are forbidden to adopt? Consider this representative case:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.aclufl.org/pdfs/Gill_About_the_Plaintiffs.pdf[/url]”>http://www.aclufl.org/pdfs/Gill_About_the_Plaintiffs.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Older kids often bounce around foster care. In this case, a gay couple became foster parents of a newborn and a four-year-old (bear in mind, there are not fifty zillion people lining up to take two brothers into foster care). Eventually, the two kids’ parents’ rights were terminated and they became adoptable. By this time, the family had bonded and the fathers wanted to adopt their boys. Should the state of Florida have forbidden the men from adopting their sons? I confess I’m at a loss to figure out how that would be better for anyone involved.</p>

364

<p>I fully support the Catholic Church’s opinions on everything, as long as it doesn’t try to impose them on me. I am not a Roman Catholic, so the opinions of that church should have no effect on my life whatsoever (especially legally). Folks who wish to follow the Catholic Church are free to do it.</p>

365

<p>I like Alexandra Billings. One of the few trans women who’s a reasonably well known actress. Some of you may recall the ER episode in which she guest starred (playing a patient who was a trans woman, so the casting was certainly appropriate – I don’t recall what illness she had.)</p>

366

<p>Rather obviously, epiphany, I don’t have the power to silence anyone here. I do, however, have the right to point out that particular topics have been repeatedly addressed in other threads, and might more appropriately be addressed in such threads, instead of diverting the one thread we’ve ever had on CC (to the best of my knowledge) that has dealt with trans issues on any but the most superficial level.</p>

<p>By the way, not agreeing on everything is hardly my criterion for viewing someone’s positions the way I view CM’s.</p>

367

<p>“It is difficult for me to believe that in most adoption cases there is not a waiting, interested hetero couple available to that child with just as much to offer as any interested gay couple”</p>

<p>People aren’t lining up to adopt older kids, disabled children as well as children with a variety of other problems. in addition, I believe that gay people can be just as good parents as can heterosexual parents. My belief also is based on seeing what excellent parents my LGBTQ friends are with their biological and adopted children, far better parents than are many heterosexual parents.</p>

<p>"A Miami-Dade child welfare judge ruled on Tuesday morning that the constitutionality of a state law that bans gay men and lesbians from adopting is unconstitutional and has “no rational basis”. </p>

<p>Florida law allows gays to serve as foster parents but not adopt. Florida has one of the strictest bans on gay adoptions in the country, reports CBS station WFOR-TV in Miami.</p>

<p>The decision was handed down by Judge Cindy Lederman on the request by 47-year-old Frank Martin Gill to adopt two young boys he has been raising as foster children for the last four years. The state of Florida has fought in court against Gill’s petition to adopt the boys. </p>

<p>Gill has a life partner who is not being identified to protect the confidentiality of a third child who has his last name. </p>

<p>The boys, now four and eight years old, were taken from their crack-smoking, abusive birth parents by the Department of Children and Family Services. The agency, along with the Attorney General’s office, defends the state’s ban on gay adoption. …"
[Court:</a> Florida Gay Adoption Ban Unconstitutional - cbs5.com](<a href=“http://cbs5.com/national/Florida.Gay.adoptions.2.873551.html]Court:”>http://cbs5.com/national/Florida.Gay.adoptions.2.873551.html)</p>

368

<p>I believe I’ve posted in another thread about that decision, NSM, and may even have quoted from it on this thread – it’s hard to remember at this point.</p>

<p>Separately, I’ve really done my best for some time now to answer as many questions on this thread as I can, and to be open about many aspects of my personal history and how it’s affected (or, more accurately, hasn’t affected!) my relationship with my son – who’s been home now for almost a week, bringing me great joy every minute I’m with him. (And, if you’ll pardon a little shameless bragging, just called me very excitedly a few minutes ago to tell me he got all A’s and A-'s this term and ended up with a 3.6 average for the year, not bad, I think for his first year at the University of Chicago, where grade inflation is definitely not an issue!) </p>

<p>But I can’t talk about the subject anymore on this thread. Continuing to place myself in personal jeopardy and to subject myself to some truly awful comments, as I’ve been doing here, are simply not good for me. Not ever, and certainly not now, for reasons I’ll explain sometime soon on another thread. I want to apologize to all the wonderful people who’ve been so supportive of the LGBT community in general, and trans people in particular, on this thread. </p>

<p>Donna</p>

369

<p>In Florida, gays are allowed to foster parent, but haven’t been allowed to adopt. Seems cruel to the children in their care, and the judge in the Gill case agreed.</p>

<p>"In her statement before a packed courtroom in the Miami-Dade Juvenile Justice Center, Lederman said it was undeniable that Gill and his partner of eight years have provided a safe and stable permanent home for the boys. The adoption law violates equal protections because it singles out gay parents and their children for no rational reason.</p>

<p>“The Constitutional finding is that [the children] have a right to permanency. And permanency is not achieved by taking them out of the Gill home where they are thriving, ” Lederman said.</p>

<p>“I find that the law banning gay adoption is without any rational basis. It is clear that there is no rational basis to preclude homosexuals from adopting.”</p>

<p>The ruling means that Gill and his partner can adopt the 4-year-old and 8-year-old half brothers that arrived on their doorstep at midnight during an emergency foster care placement around Christmas in 2004. </p>

<p>During the hearing Lederman legally changed the boys’ surnames to Gill. </p>

<p>Gill was teary eyed as he hugged members of his legal team in the courtroom.</p>

<p>“I cried the first tears of joy in my life,” he said at a press conference in front of the courthouse. “We are elated and we could not be happier.”</p>

<p>When the boys first arrived in his home the plan had been to foster the children for one or two months while their biological parents’ court cases were worked out. But when the parents lost custody and the Gill’s family bonded about a year later, Gill decided to petition for adoption.</p>

<p>“I’m not an activist,” he said Tuesday. “The reason I’m standing here is because I’m a persistent individual and I knew the only right thing to do was to adopt these children.”</p>

<p>The case went to trial in September, just a month after Monroe County Judge David Audlin granted Wayne Larue Smith, a gay resident of Key West the right to adopt a 13-year-old boy he had fostered for several years. …</p>

<p>While Lederman’s ruling was hailed as a major victory for gay rights leaders, it still will not change the state law, known as the most restrictive adoption law in the nation. The ruling is the first time a judge has struck down the adoption law, the most restrictive adoption law in the nation. </p>

<p>But Judge Lederman’s 53-page ruling provides a legal framework to overturn the 1977 adoption law, passed in the height of the Anita Bryant crusade against gay teachers. "
[Anti-gay</a> adoption law unconstitutional - South Florida Blade](<a href=“http://www.floridablade.com/2008/11-26/news/localnews/5305.cfm]Anti-gay”>http://www.floridablade.com/2008/11-26/news/localnews/5305.cfm)</p>

370

<p>Thanks, Donna. You’ve covered a lot of ground on this thread and done a good job of educating many of us. Congratulations to your son and enjoy your time with him!</p>

371

<p>Thanks, Donna & quaere. I appreciate learning more about transmen and transwomen.</p>

372

<p>Donna, I very much appreciate your patience with those of us who are ignorant of your reality (and I count my self as one). Please recognize that you have performed a valuable service. </p>

<p>Blessings to you and your son.</p>

<p>~mafool</p>

373

<p>Donna, I admire the persistence and integrity you’ve shown on this thread at what must have been at times at great cost to your peace of mind. I think your efforts have not been wasted here.</p>

374

<p>Donna, I’m amazed that you even stayed with this thread for so long. It’s very draining to deal with such negativity. Thank you for sharing so much with us.</p>

375

<p>Donna, I appreciate your patience and willingness to share so much with us.</p>

376

<p>DonnaL- Congrats to your son! What an impressive freshman year! Enjoy your time with him. </p>

<p>Keep your chin up and don’t let anyone get you down!</p>

377

<p>Thank you, DonnaL, for helping to enlighten so many of us.</p>

378

<p>DonnaL,</p>

<p>I appreciate everything you’ve done here to inform people, and I fully understand why you’re not continuing to post on this subject. It is so hard having to be the sole representative of a group of people. I have been in that situation myself a lot and I know how painful and burdensome it can be to keep speaking up to squelch others’ ignorance and hostility.</p>

<p>Sending warmest wishes to you and your son.</p>

379

<p>Thank you, Donna. I’ve learned much from this thread. I certainly understand why you’re leaving it.</p>

<p>(mafool - I, also, have a “problematic” son, conceived by IVF.)</p>

380

<p>Rather than starting a new thread, I’m simply adding to this one. Another child of celebrities who (if the National Enquirer is to be believed) is planning to transition. Although this child is much younger than Chaz was, and appears to have been self-aware from a much earlier age, without going through a period of self-identifying as lesbian. The article’s title and language are crude and sensationalistic, and the portrayal of the parents’ reaction is depressingly negative, but I’m afraid that’s typical of most stories on this subject:</p>

<p>[Warren</a> Beatty’s daughter wants sex change surgery](<a href=“http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/2010/06/18/20100618warren-beatty-daughter-wants-sex-change-surgery.html]Warren”>http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/2010/06/18/20100618warren-beatty-daughter-wants-sex-change-surgery.html)</p>

<p>

</p>