<p>Interesting, mathmom. I’ve honestly never heard of anyone from the U.S. having GRS in Europe. (At least, not since the 1950’s, when people used to have to go to places like Denmark. Morocco was another popular destination once upon a time.) The major overseas destination nowadays for people from the U.S. and U.K. is Thailand, where a couple of the surgeons are considered as being among the very best in the world, and the cost of surgery (even with travel expenses) is quite a bit less than in North America. And, yes, the Thai surgeons, although they do require referral letters from doctors, therapists, etc., do tend to be a little less strict in terms of the waiting period.</p>
<p>Then again, there are a great many trans people who believe that as adults they should have autonomy over their own bodies, and that the kind of “gatekeeping” that trans people have to go through is demeaning and unnecessary. For me personally, the reasons I waited four years after transition to have surgery had nothing whatsoever to do with having any doubts about whether surgery (or transition itself) would be right for me. I always knew it would be. (Assuming I got through the surgery in one piece, which was obviously a concern given my general health issues!) I had no doubts, or worries about potential regrets, at any time. I certainly knew who I really was, on some level, by the time I was 18 (despite strenuous efforts to deny and suppress that knowledge, which lasted almost 40 years). I knew it when I was 3.</p>
<p>PS: I’m not trying by any means to dismiss how difficult something like this is for parents to learn to accept – often considerably more difficult than learning that one’s child is gay. Some never do. I know trans people who, very sadly, have been permanently rejected by their parents, with all communication cut off.</p>
<p>In this case, it sounds like the parents have known about the situation for a long time; it didn’t just come up now.</p>
<p>My father was accepting when I finally told him six years ago, but we’ve never been very close and I don’t think he ever was emotionally invested in a “father-son” son relationship with me. Or much of anything else where I’m concerned, for that matter. (The next time he tells me he loves me will, so far as I remember, be the first time ever. I’m not holding my breath!)</p>
<p>As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t know how my mother would have reacted. She’s been dead for 35 years, as of Monday. I’d like to think she would still have loved me, and would have learned to accept me. I do know that when I was a young child she said a couple of times, based on something she saw about me – I don’t even know what – that I should have been a girl. Of course, I denied it. (Even then, I knew better than to admit something like that! When I was 7 years old, and my father brought home a button for me to wear that said “It’s A Man’s World,” I even pretended to be pleased. I’m sure my parents meant well.)</p>
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