<p>What do I do when my child is miserable and begging to transfer to the community college in our hometown? She is a cheerleader at the University she attends, but is not happy being away from home, hates the town, and is becoming physically sick. Is it even possible to transfer?</p>
<p>See if you can get her to stick it out until winter break. Reassure her that you understand her feelings, but that you want her to try it for a minimum of one quarter/semester/year (however long you can stand behind) before she makes her decision. She wants a rescue right now, but that would be a disservice to her if she is just homesick. I am sure you have already paid tuition, etc., and going off to college is much like that first shock when a child who can’t swim jumps in the water and can’t breathe- it causes panic, and that is what she is feeling. It is unfamiliar, so she wants familiarity and comfort. Try to stay supportive but upbeat, and reassure her that her feelings are not uncommon and most people adjust and thrive. I know a friend of mine had her daughter feel this same way first semester. They convinced her to stick it out for two terms and then told her they would support a transfer after that. She came home almost every weekend at the beginning, and at Christmas, it looked unlikely she would ever be happy there, but by spring break all was well. It takes time to adjust. Hopefully, all she needs is time. Send her care packages, but don’t do anything that you know will make the homesickness worse. Just let her know she is loved, and that you believe that she can make it.</p>
<p>It is so hard, but I would tell her she needs to stick it out for the term9 quarter or semester). If you are close to her school, make sure she doesn’t come home every weekend; she needs to do some school activities on weekends so she can meet friends. Also, I would not call her- let her call you. Make sure you tell her that she is not the only one going thru this. If possible, you also might talk to the RA in her dorm to let her/him know what is going on. Sometimes they can step in and make sure she is keeping active, invite her along for dinner, etc.</p>
<p>Is she a freshman? If so, I would suggest to her that everybody is going to have misgivings as they adjust to the new normal.</p>
<p>When she was applying to this school, what were the things she liked about it? Encourage her to remember those aspects.</p>
<p>Classes haven’t started yet. That’s an important point.</p>
<p>Life at college during the time before classes start (whether it’s just Orientation or whether you’re there early for a sport, band, or cheerleading) is utterly unlike life at college during the regular semester. People who dislike one of these situations often like the other.</p>
<p>I may be confused, but it sounds as though your dtr is a sophomore, as she is a cheerleader there. does she have particular reasons that she is dreading going back? Are there local friends going to CC whom she doesn’t want to leave? Could she take medical leave or get tuition reimbursed?</p>
<p>If she is a freshman, I can understand how she feels. Coming to school early for something like that is tough. You are usually practicing for many, many hours, and as a freshman it sure isn’t fun. However, once classes start it will get better, as you meet more people and get in to a routine. </p>
<p>I still remember my first week of band, it was exhausting. I nearly quit and was miserable. However one of my fellow freshmen convinced me to stick it out and it was the best decision I made. </p>
<p>Just let her know you care, but to try to give it a chance for that first semester.</p>