<p>I realize as I type this post that we really need to get our son connected with some sort of vocational assistance office to ask these questions of a professional. But with that said, I’d still like your opinions because you are smart people.</p>
<p>Son just got a job at a supermarket. It’s where my husband shops, so he knows Son’s supervisor. Son has Asperger’s Syndrome-he’s not “out there” but certainly has issues with reading non-verbal cues, etc. A couple of summers ago he almost got fired from a volunteer position, because he wasn’t picking up his supervisor’s non-verbal cues. We intervened and also gave Son some strategies (like frequently asking how he’s doing.)</p>
<p>So what about this new job? Do we let him sink or swim on his own, or should husband talk to the supervisor about Son? I think Son should be taught how to advocate for himself (maybe saying things like, “I’m not very good at reading faces, so please just tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”)</p>
<p>Would you get involved? People with Asperger’s often have a very hard time holding down a job, so I want him to learn as much as he can from all the little ones so he can succeed when he gets a “real” job years from now.</p>
<p>I think you need professional help on this one, but bear in mind that if he tells people he’ll have an automatic “crutch” whereas if he doesn’t he’ll have to strive to fit in and figure out how to make the job environment work for him. What I, or anybody else on this board, won’t know is how “different” he is. If he’s not so different, he should be tasked with trying to fit in without any special consideration, IMO. And then if things start to go sideways, explain at that point. If he learns how to manage in a situation where people don’t give him special consideration, he’ll go a long ways towards his own growth.</p>
<p>“So what about this new job? Do we let him sink or swim on his own, or should husband talk to the supervisor about Son? I think Son should be taught how to advocate for himself (maybe saying things like, “I’m not very good at reading faces, so please just tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”)”</p>
<p>This (your S telling his employer and coworkers) makes sense to me, and the earlier, the better. I also suggest that you consult with a professional and support groups for Aspergers’ people and their families.</p>
<p>This is wonderful news. I can see why you want to see him succeed, especially so. </p>
<p>Just wondering if he could role play at home with you, to say the needed words to the supervisor? Only you know if that’s a helpful strategy.</p>
<p>Ask the professionals their experience of course. Do they think that giving the Super a brief, bullet-point pamphlet might help him, listing the most important areas. When he continues to want to shelve things the exact same way, for example, and doesn’t want to change a routine, then you want the super to realize that’s being responsible, in your S’s mind…and not miscategorize it as being stubborn or unwilling to take directions. Kind of a “If I do this…then here’s how to manage me” kind of thing.</p>
<p>I’m thinking of my nephew with Asperger’s and at age 14 we can hardly imagine him working a job. So your posting gives me lots of hope to read. Best wishes.</p>
<p>Perhaps, too, if the boss is confused by a response from your S (this could be dad talk, on a subsequent visit after your son has spoken first), reassure the Super that you know these kids can be confusing, so please feel free to phone the parents for advice. Also, how much this job means to him. We are so happy he’s working here and want to do everything possible to help him be a success for you.</p>
<p>Most supers would consider it crazy to call a parent, but you can say in this case, it could save the day and please do.</p>
<p>Presumably, he’ll be interacting with others besides the supervisor. In my opinion, he should approach co-workers and ask for general support, e.g., “I’m new at this, so I hope you’ll help me out and keep me from making too many mistakes. Incidentally, I’m not very good at reading facial cues, so please bear with me when I don’t respond as you think I should.” If they ask, he can explain that he has a mild form of Asperger’s, that it does not prevent him from doing a good job, and that it strikes even very smart people. </p>
<p>I think it’s better to let the supervisor and co-workers know before any mishap takes place so that it will not look like excuse-making, but he should go very lightly with it.</p>