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<p>I’ve lived overseas, and I think it’s good for the mostly American readers here to compare the college admission scene in the United States with that in another country.</p>
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Surely not more than Nigerians!</p>
<p><a href=“On%20a%20more%20serious%20note,%20have%20there%20not%20been%20enough%20threads%20on%20this?%20I%20recall%20at%20least%20two%20%22Asian%20parents%22%20threads%20on%20the%20old%20board%20alone.”>size=-2</a>[/size]</p>
<p>lol, sorry, IBclass06. I’m wrong. I haven’t one single asian mom is that pushy. haha</p>
<p>I don’t think so. As a Chinese, i personally think it’s not a lack of affection, it’s just a early worry and a little “over weighted” concern about their kids’ futures. it’s acctually a kind of affection. Probabily we get less happiness from playing game and relaxing, but we can have a lot more happiness if we will be successful in the future.</p>
<p>I agree with collegehelp on the “Chinese kids try to excel in school both for themselves and to make their family proud.” that’s simply right.</p>
<p>Hmm…There should be thread on this forum for chinese children/parents/people</p>
<p>As Rluo11 Said, most Chinese parents have “extreme” concern over the future of their children/child. </p>
<p>While most like to work and play, Chinese philosophy is to work first then play, as in work as hard as possible for the first 30 years of your life so you can “slack off” for the next 30 years. Well…that’s what my mother tells me.
They basically don’t want us to struggle in our careers when we’re older, they want us to have an easy life cause we “excelled” when we were younger.</p>
<p>This may also pose a benefit to them (IDK really kno but why else would they push kids this hard) because if your son/daughter is a doctor/lawyer/engineer you’ll have a nice retirement too.</p>
<p>Also this is a competition to see who has the most prestigious/honorable/gifted child among the bunch. </p>
<p>Also, sometimes they are a little “heartless”, but they still “love” us.
They yell a lot. When you don’t know how to do something,forget something, do something wrong, they will begin telling their life story and how they struggled to get to America and how your future will be a total failure unless you do it right or follow their directions. Much more strict than average parents.
I.E: just woke up out of bed this morning and they are complaining about my future and how if I don’t “learn” to comb my hair I will never amount to anything (which apparently is their favorite catchphrase: if I don’t “learn” to _________ you will never amount to anything and “WORK MINIMUM WAGE REST YOUR LIFE”)</p>
<p>Anyway those are my two cents.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t agree with lack of affection. Most Chinese families tend to spoil their kids, but it’s all business when it comes to doing well in school/life. Actually, I tend to yell at my mom to leave me alone because she’s so affectionate it’s annoying :)</p>
<p>Chinese people are usually pretty humble about stuff, but they love to brag about their kids if given the opportunity. On the surface though, they’re all about, “Oh please! My child is so stupid and lazy, not as polite as your child, etc.” </p>
<p>With the whole creativity allegation, I disagree again. Yes, there are lots of insipid Chinese kids out there who have never broken a mold, but there are also many vibrant Chinese kids who pursue passions other than math or science. Society has sort of shaped them to be math-science oriented in recent years (especially in China) but you see lots of Asian student leaders and political activists, etc. as well. </p>
<p>Maybe I have a different perspective because my parents are pretty chill, though their reasons for yelling at me are completely bizarre. My dad gets really mad if I trip/fall down, and my mom is more worried about me cleaning my room than doing my homework.</p>
<p>Unlike most Chinese parents, my parents are pretty much the opposite. </p>
<p>My mom did care about my grades a lot when I was in elementary school. Once I started middle school and I just did well, my mom started to just not care as much because she knew I’d always just do what I was suppose to do. </p>
<p>And my dad doesn’t really know much except the fact that I am graduating this year. </p>
<p>So, my point is, the whole Asian stereotype of strict parents may be true, but not for everyone.</p>
<p>My mom doesn’t expect me to go to the Ivies; she probably wouldn’t even care if I went to a community college-as long as that is what I want. Though, she did say it’s pointless to go to one if I spent my high school years stressing myself with so much.</p>
<p>I have some friends who have parents that know every single test they take and the day after they are asked for the grades they received. </p>
<p>I was sort of shock, I mean, if I had to deal with that, I just don’t think I could take it. </p>
<p>I’m pretty grateful that I have understanding and quite lenient parents :)</p>
<p>I wouldn’t agree with lack of affection. Most Chinese families tend to spoil their kids, but it’s all business when it comes to doing well in school/life. Actually, I tend to yell at my mom to leave me alone because she’s so affectionate it’s annoying :)</p>
<p>Chinese people are usually pretty humble about stuff, but they love to brag about their kids if given the opportunity. On the surface though, they’re all about, “Oh please! My child is so stupid and lazy, not as polite as your child, etc.” </p>
<p>With the whole creativity allegation, I disagree again. Yes, there are lots of insipid Chinese kids out there who have never broken a mold, but there are also many vibrant Chinese kids who pursue passions other than math or science. Society has sort of shaped them to be math-science oriented in recent years (especially in China) but you see lots of Asian student leaders and political activists, etc. as well. </p>
<p>Maybe I have a different perspective because my parents are pretty chill, though their reasons for yelling at me are completely bizarre. My dad gets really mad if I trip/fall down, and my mom is more worried about me cleaning my room than doing my homework.</p>
<p>QUOTE “Also, sometimes they are a little “heartless”, but they still “love” us.
They yell a lot. When you don’t know how to do something,forget something, do something wrong, they will begin telling their life story and how they struggled to get to America and how your future will be a total failure unless you do it right or follow their directions. Much more strict than average parents.
I.E: just woke up out of bed this morning and they are complaining about my future and how if I don’t “learn” to comb my hair I will never amount to anything (which apparently is their favorite catchphrase: if I don’t “learn” to _________ you will never amount to anything and “WORK MINIMUM WAGE REST YOUR LIFE”)
Anyway those are my two cents.”</p>
<p>QUOTE "My mom did care about my grades a lot when I was in elementary school. Once I started middle school and I just did well, my mom started to just not care as much because she knew I’d always just do what I was suppose to do. </p>
<p>And my dad doesn’t really know much except the fact that I am graduating this year."</p>
<p>my life described right here ^.^</p>
<p>Haha, glad to know I’m not the only one.</p>
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<p>I get that all the time! “DO YOU WANT TO WORK AT MCDONALDS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!” Yes, mom, because sleeping an extra hour over the weekend will destroy the possibility of my attending any college/university.
To be honest, my parents are quite liberal about my life. Sure, they make it absolutely impossible for me to sneak out or something, but they have openly admitted that they wouldn’t mind if I went to a state college. As long as I’m happy with such decisions myself, I’m free to do whatever I want.
Asian moms and dads aren’t always bad. (:</p>
<p>I fail to see the value of the article. As a general rule, the social elite in all countries is ****ed up. I was momentarily shocked that people write books about how they made nearly two decades of a poor human being’s life all about getting to Harvard. I felt a certain poignancy while reading that the climax of someone’s existence is making it to Harvard rather than anticipating the future and the things they will do with their education. For a second, I wanted to denounce these people, to tell them how sick it was what they were doing to their children. But then I remembered U.S. college counselors, SAT prep classes, this website, these stupid notions of who “deserves” to go to college. The American social elite is fundamentally no different, it just appears more normal to me because it exists in the context of individualism and other western values that I’ve taken for granted my whole life (and continue to even now). </p>
<p>In a way though, I still feel pity for the Chinese and Asians in general. Because they’re behind–even the ones who are U.S. citizens and should have it as easy as everyone else. They’re behind the white social elite. Somehow, reality is constantly reinvented to suit the white man. If a white guy played piano, he was creative. If an Asian guy plays piano, he’s just another yellow applicant, they all play piano. White guys don’t play piano anymore, but Asians still do. For some reason they’re slow at catching the changing drifts. Piano’s out of style now.</p>
<p>^ That second paragraph is so incorrect, it makes God cry.</p>
<p>Dude, Piano in a jazz combo is so kick _ _ _ what do you mean it’s out of style now??</p>
<p>Don’t pity US,
Envy us, because many of us are willing to work harder in life to become good at something</p>
<p>"On the surface though, they’re all about, “Oh please! My child is so stupid and lazy, not as polite as your child, etc.” </p>
<p>^ describes my parents to the dot. I’m an average A student who has extracurriculars, but in conversation my parents makes me sound mentally deficent and unable to comprehend the simplest of ideas/tasks/ect</p>
<p>"oh college, I don’t know, I don’t think hes smart enough for state school. He probably go to community if he lucky because he slack off so much (cuz i sleep till 10 on weekends). I tell him wake up early every weekend at 8 am to study SAT (which I finished the blue book like 2 times now) but he soo lazy…He never amount to anything… He always out having to much fun after school (band and clubs)…your child is so smart (some other asian parent)…why can’t you be like ________(number 1 genius in state).</p>
<p>i agree 100% with the dude above me ^^</p>
<p>i think what drives a lot of Chinese parents to force their kids to do well is the scary prospect of losing face.</p>
<p>from my own experiences, Chinese parents compare their kids to other Chinese kids way more than white parents do. it’s all about pride. if your kid goes to harvard, your family can be proud. if you kid goes to community college, that’s shame.</p>
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<p>That difference in public statements (from western parents) is just a difference in cultural standards of politeness. I remember seeing a man from a neighboring country in Asia (not China, specifically, but a country with a similar cultural pattern) describing his wife, who WAS PRESENT and who was my classmate, as “ugly.” (In fact, she was beautiful.) He did that to be polite, to not brag about her in public. That felt seriously weird to me, a westerner (who was living in yet a third Asian country with the two of them when this incident occurred) but I understood where he was coming from.</p>
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<p>Nothing wrong with piano or violin for the matter. It’s just that everything Asians do becomes downplayed and generalized. Hasn’t it struck you as strange just how often the label “typical” is attached to Asians? “Typical Asian Parents”. “Typical Asian Applicant”. “Typical Asian Girl”. What exactly is so typical about Asians? Not to say that there isn’t a sort of vague cultural unity across all the diverse Asians who live in the U.S., a sort of ‘different’ mentality from the west. Not to say that there are not many Asians who evidently enjoy that their parents are “typical”. But do you really think that the notion of a “Typical Asian Applicant” is fair and conducive to your being accepted to college?</p>
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Well, whites are of course much more pervasive in a predominantly white society, so, when describing whites, we’re more likely to go one step further and say things like “typical metalhead”, “typical jock”, “typical blond”, “typical WoW nerd”, etc.</p>
<p>I’ve certainly seen “typical white people”-type comments made by certain Asian individuals.</p>
<p>“In a way though, I still feel pity for the Chinese and Asians in general.”</p>
<p>we don’t need your pity namurt</p>