<p>[Chinese</a> aim for the Ivy League - International Herald Tribune](<a href=“http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/01/04/mideast/ivy.php]Chinese”>http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/01/04/mideast/ivy.php) </p>
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<p>Generally speaking, I would say that Asian families are being successful at raising “successful children” judging from the proportion of Asian students in top engineering programs. But, am I correct that Asian families are too strict, lack affection, too authoritarian and their children lack creativity and happiness?</p>
<p>lack affection? i don’t think so
they just have more open competition about these things than non-asian people do
and countries like korea, china have their focus on memory skills etc
and yes thus creativity side is not well encouraged
but i don’t think such stereotyped comments should be said so bluntly</p>
<p>sorry as I am a Korean myself I took a little offence to it</p>
<p>It is not only China, same goes for a number of countries of post-USSR, and developing world.
One would often hear that he needs to grow up, get good education, work, and support his family.</p>
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<p>That seems like way too much of a generalization to me. Especially the “lack creativity” part of that.</p>
<p>I would say that creativity is not AS encouraged in our (I come from post-USSR) families, as it is in the U.S., for example. And I think we share that with East Asians (might be wrong though).</p>
<p>It is very important that families encourage academic achievement, provide a rich environment for children, and express a great deal of affection for children. I don’t think harsh discipline is healthy, e.g. holding ice cubes to develop self-control, spanking, yelling. Nevertheless, Asian families must be stronger than American families overall because their children do well academically and are well-mannered. Poverty has a debilitating affect on American families but I think Asian families are strong despite low income. Parents in wealthier American families are too materialistic and self-absorbed.</p>
<p>whoah…those are some pretty harsh generalizations there, collegehelp.</p>
<p>Thank you, Tokenadult, for sharing this article. In my experience, I noticed Asian parents were/are very loving, attentive, & motivating toward their children. Goals are set & expected to be met, but whether or not goal setting is at the expense of a more well rounded childhood is an issue for the experts.
I do agree, however, that schools like Andover (Phillips Academy), St. Paul’s School, Hotchkiss, Groton, Deerfield Academy & Exeter (Phillips Exeter Academy) are a significant stepping stone into Ivy League schools–if that is one’s goal, and even if it isn’t. My son, for example, attended one of these elite prep boarding schools and was offered collegiate opportunities that few experience even though he elected not to apply to a single school in the Northeastern US. We credit this, in significant part, to the education & experience received at his boarding school, experiences akin to a loving, demanding, standard setting family that clearly led our son in the right directions regardless of schools or paths targeted. Several of his Asian classmates applied to each of the eight Ivy League schools.</p>
<p>im sorry but collegehelp, you sound like someone that has just stepped out of a small, insular town who has never met an asian family before. </p>
<p>Main problem with our families and their focus is the belief that we’re failures if we do not make it into the best universities. </p>
<p>this is most true in korea for example as if you do not make it to its top, say 5 universities, then you are deemed a failure</p>
<p>i think its more the societies expectations/demands/ideals than anything else. and the parents are more inclinded to put their children’s education first.</p>
<p>I am Chinese, and my parents really care about what other people thinks, so they always wanted me to attend a top ten university! Since we moved to the U.S., they havn’t done anything to help me with school except they constantly mumbled on my ears that I need to be in a top college. It really worked for me. I worked hard, made good grades, and managed everything school related on my own despite working for my parents to supplement family income.</p>
<p>Preparation for the Ivy League (that is, raising intelligent, academically motivated children) should begin in infancy. By age 6 or 7, it may be too late. The damage is already done.</p>
<p>Daycare rots the brain.
Television rots the brain.
Video games rot the brain.</p>
<p>Feel free to add to my list of things that rot the brain.</p>
<p>^Are you serious? Why in the world would someone prepare their toddler for college?</p>
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<p>Reading College Confidential threads? </p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>well my family is form a post-USSR country , Ukraine, and although they encourage us to do well in school and be sucessful, you can’t compare it to Asians… For my mom,for example, it ias totally normal to say something like “don’t stress out, if you get a bad grade it is ok, you will get into some college, and we can always buy a diploma(lol)…” and she does not say that because I’m stupid, because I am not.</p>
<p>Look there are well over 1.5 billion people of Chinese ancestry. Only the most affluent and/or aggressive are making it over here to study. Just consider the sheer numbers in that. It’s going to seem like the Asians are so much more academically sound than the average american because there are so many of them. The vast majority of asians never get here at all.</p>
<p>My parent’s never cared about my grades. I mean they do, but they can’t since they know any English. My grades are always like 80s first few years here and they didn’t say anything about it. Since high school I been making mostly 100s, but they never complimented me for it. Unlike some of my American friends, their parents’ put it on the fridge or get them a big present for making a 100 on a test or something. When I made a 98 once on my report card, my parents were so disappointed. I guessed their are making me do well mentally because I could never stand being disappointed.</p>
<p>rjkofnovi,</p>
<p>I agree with you. There are a lot of Chinese who got accepted to top schools, but very few from where I am from.</p>
<p>Anastasia-
I think your parents had the right idea. Too much stress interferes with your ability to concentrate and do well in school.</p>
<p>Genetics and family lifestyle both matter. Here are some exerpts from an article in this week’s Chronicle of Higher Education (week of Jan 5th).</p>
<p>“Young men are less likely to attend college if they carry a common form of a gene associated with poor impulse control, a new study has found. But the study also found that a strong environment a high-quality high school and heavily involved parents can counteract that genetic risk. For boys with this gene who grow up in supportive environments, there was no drop in college attendance.”</p>
<p>“The gene, known as DRD2, controls the body’s ability to respond to a brain chemical called dopamine, which plays a role in many cognitive and emotional processes. Certain variants of the DRD2 gene have been associated in previous studies with poor impulse control, difficulty in planning, and alcoholism.”</p>
<p>“If a boy with DRD2 risk attends a high-quality high school, or if his parents are well educated, talk frequently with teachers about the student’s performance, and join parent-teacher associations, the negative effect of the gene diminishes or vanishes.”</p>
<p>Going back to something st. g.i.dragon said (and with apologies if this sounds like a generalization, it is based on purely anecdotal experience)…as far as less emphasis on the creative side. My niece is something of a cello prodigy who has studied with with two of the top cello teachers in the U.S. at two top music programs. Most of these programs are extremely competitive, and many, if not most, of the students at her level have been of Asian descent. Their families have helped them to succeed through great emphasis on a disciplined and focused approach to their music from an early age, but often to the exclusion of other aspects of life due to extremely long practice hours daily. The students who have arrived at the top schools through this approach however, can often lack a creative aspect to their playing. My niece’s current teacher is constantly telling these types of musicians that they need to cut back on their practice hours and get out and experience life so that they can bring more creative aspects of life into their playing. When my niece tells some of her friends that she played softball, painted, read widely, played in a rock band, etc., she is typically told by her friends that they were not allowed to pursue such activities at the expense of practice time.</p>