<p>DRD2…blahblah…DDR2? </p>
<p>What, me, easily distracted?</p>
<p>This article was very interesting. The parent’s view of success from their experiences caused them to instill the values of hard work and diligence in the children. While some parents may not agree with their methodology this style of discipline is common in their culture.</p>
<p>A foreign exchange student from China is currently in my BC Calculus class and I was talking to her about Chinese society. At her school it is completely unacceptable to disrespect your teachers in any form (this includes not doing homework). No one is disrespectful, but in rare cases the student is forced to clean the school after hours. She also said that her parents were the ones who wanted her to come to America for school. They too want her to go to Harvard. When I told her I applied she was amazed. Eghhh…</p>
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<p>I hope you’re being sarcastic, and I know you’re being sarcastic, because all of these claims have been refuted. =P</p>
<p>To a large extent, we American are over protective of our sons and daughters. We shovel them with much affection and provide them with a false sense of achievement. This may build small confidence in the short term but in the long run, most of our kids will likely end up as underachiever, spoilt brat, failure and perennial loser. I know there are tough American families who do bring out tough kids and who aspires to attend good schools and do good stuff, but these are few and far in between. I am not even talking about naturing the likes of Steve Job, Bill Gates or Jerry Yang. These people are more of an exception than the norm. </p>
<p>We need to bring out kids that are responsible, considerate, well-mannered, respectful of others, practice healthy life-style, hard working and caring of others. If as parents are able to instill these virtues to our kids, I think getting into elite school or not does not matter. However, I would not turn down the elite schools if these kids aspire to reach the top. It is almost certain, and I can assure you that kids with such qualities will do very well in life and lead a fulfilling life.</p>
<p>Some people on this forum are extremely stupid. These responses are just ridiculous.</p>
<p>There are huge cultural differences. American families may seem more lax on their children early on, but they tend to let them go after 18. Most of my American friends have to pay for their own college education, cars, and sometimes even housing. Most Chinese families completely cover their children’s college educations, and never let them into the real world until they are ready. Of course, this has both good and bad effects.</p>
<p>I’m putting an ice cube tray into the freezer right now…</p>
<p>There’s a cultural difference. There are advantages and disadvantages to the “typical” American method and to the “typical” Chinese method. </p>
<p>But another thing to remember is that there probably ISN’T a “typical” Chinese method. It’s a vast, vast country with many different distinct cultures in it. A lot of Chinese people work on farms and their kids will never get an opportunity to go to school. (Talking about actual China here, not Chinese-Americans.)</p>
<p>Anastasia, my mom said the exact same thing, except the buying diploma part. By the way, I’m Chinese. </p>
<p>These stereotypes don’t apply all of the Chinese or East Asian families. As far as I have known, some of the children just simply want to escape the pressure and competition from the College Entrance Exam (Gao Kao.) A single type of books can’t have such a dramatic impact on the whole country. Besides, in some families, children aren’t pushed to study abroad or to apply to the ivies. They apply to the ivies based on their own will and determination. </p>
<p>However, I have to admit that Chinese families’ involvement and concern in children’s education is drastically higher than most of the typical American families. This situation is not pushed by the single child policy. It was passed through the thousands of years of Chinese traditional doctrines. Therefore, it’s not surprising at all to see a Chinese family’s zeal and compulsion in children’s education.</p>
<p>“Television rots the brain.”</p>
<p>I think that I can honestly say that I’ve learned more from discovery channel documentaries(the really good ones) than a lot of the classes that I have taken in high school. I recently watched an episode of Jeopardy and knew the answer to every question on the board, and I learned it all on the discovery/science/history channel.</p>
<p>^ Even daycare (if the daycare is good and the employees trained right) can actually be beneficial to little kids, as can certain video games.</p>
<p>lack of happiness - yes
lack of creativity - no</p>
<p>My parents actually don’t really pressure me, well that’s what I think.</p>
<p>They’re very open about everything. If I don’t get an A they tell me to think about the reasons which caused me to get that B, and improve for the following term. They don’t beat me, or nag at me constantly. They trust me to do what I need to do. I work hard for them, but also for me. I work hard because it will make them happy and proud. </p>
<p>Chinese parents really value education. Some people talk about how Chinese parents, or overall East Asian parents, are so strict and harsh.</p>
<p>I don’t really think that’s true. Asian parents just want their kids to be happy. They tell their kids about how different it was when they were younger in their country, and that their kids should be grateful of the opportunities they have and take advantage of them. They let their kids know that a good education is the key to happiness and success.</p>
<p>You can’t be happy if you can’t pay your bills, buy groceries, or get whatever you want.</p>
<p>Asian kids know this, and they work hard for themselves and their parents. They know that their parents want the best for them. </p>
<p>Asian kids aren’t “uncreative” and “narrow.” They think about everything, and wonder about everything. They take their parents advice. A lot of us a very good at music, art, engineering. Some of us are athletes. We like to have fun, and we know how to study hadd and party hard.</p>
<p>Not all asian kids are smart, there are many who are “normal” as I call it. But these kids work hard, especially if their parents came from poor villages and farms in China.</p>
<p>However, a lot of Chinese kids are incredibly smart, just naturally. I remember how my mom told me that in the past 30 years, a lot of the smartest people in China (who are the time were probably 21 to 30) came to China to study for their graduate degrees. These were the ones who went to the top universities, and were part of an applicant pool from all around China. Because of other issues, and the Tiananmen Square massacre, they were able to remain in America because they were smart enough to apply for green cards at that specific time. A lot of my friend’s parents fall into this category and they are utter geniuses, just like their parents. Many of their parents have doctorates from Harvard, MIT, etc. </p>
<p>A lot of these parents have kids who are at that stage of applying to college like my fellow peers. So like some have said, and I’ve read somewhere, the college applicant pool is even stronger and more competitive now.</p>
<p>Chinese kids work hard for themselves, and their family. Some really are geniuses, but that’s only those specific ones. Most of the “normal” students just know that a top education will bring their family happiness, and themselves happiness as well.</p>
<p>That was really confusing and unorganized, I know. I just wanted to randomly type something before I start on that math homework.</p>
<p>IMO, creativity is over encouraged in America. 1 in every 2 white kids wants to be a music producer/film maker*</p>
<p>*Requires source</p>
<p>“To a large extent, we American are over protective of our sons and daughters. We shovel them with much affection and provide them with a false sense of achievement. This may build small confidence in the short term but in the long run, most of our kids will likely end up as underachiever, spoilt brat, failure and perennial loser.”</p>
<p>Sorry, but I disagree with you…</p>
<p>and I have to extent this issue to the true meaning of life. What is life for? Being better than others or just being happy? </p>
<p>I believe that “provide them with a false sense of achievement” is extremely important. Have you ever think of why there aren’t ANY Chinese that grew up in a Chinese family(exclude Chinese Americans) won Nobel prize?</p>
<p>It’s because of the confidence. confidence matters. Maybe others can’t identify Chinese or Chinese Americans, but we can. The ones who never has confidence in their eyes are always the ones grown up in China, sad, but true.</p>
<p>oh god, I really typed a lot of things. lol</p>
<p>i agree with light10491. Some Asian parents can be strict, but not all, and certainly not the majority. </p>
<p>My parents never beat me and only nags me sometimes when I am on the computer too much. They trust me to do what I think is best for me. Sure, my mom suggests some things to do (she was the one to find this website), but I do research and I choose what I want.</p>
<p>Some East Asian-Americans are really focused on academics, but as someone said, those East Asian-Americans are small percentage compared to the population of the ‘actual’ East Asians. They only come to America for more opportunities and they spent fortune coming here, so they have a strong reason to study hard.</p>
<p>I strongly disagree that East Asian parents lack affection for their kids. What is the basis for that??
But, I agree to some extent that East Asian kids lack creativity. I don’t know about China, but Korean academics focus on memory, not creativity. Korean students recognize it (that’s why some choose to study America) and some ppl try to change it, but the academic system cannot change overnight.</p>
<p>“I don’t really think that’s true. Asian parents just want their kids to be happy. They tell their kids about how different it was when they were younger in their country, and that their kids should be grateful of the opportunities they have and take advantage of them. They let their kids know that a good education is the key to happiness and success.”</p>
<p>Haha…that means you didn’t grew up in a Chinese family.
the truth is, if you get low grades, your parents will yell at you(lucky you!), hit you(not bad, usual), lock you out of home for one night - like my parents did(that’s a no dinner for U!), but at the end they will throw my homework out, nice…</p>
<p>I went to a elite high school in Beijing, and my situation is really common in our high school. We sometimes can see parents hitting their children in the classroom after the parent meeting.</p>
<p>Hope I provided some useful info =]</p>
<p>@light10491</p>
<p>“I don’t really think that’s true. Asian parents just want their kids to be happy. They tell their kids about how different it was when they were younger in their country, and that their kids should be grateful of the opportunities they have and take advantage of them. They let their kids know that a good education is the key to happiness and success.”</p>
<p>Haha…you defiantly didn’t grow up in a common Chinese family
the truth is, if you get low grades, your parents will yell at you(lucky you!), hit you(not bad, usual), lock you out of home for one night - like my parents did(that’s a no dinner for U!), but at the end they will throw my homework out, nice…</p>
<p>I went to a elite high school in Beijing, and my situation is really common in our high school. We can sometimes see parents hitting their children in the classroom after the parent meeting.</p>
<p>Hope I provided some useful info =]</p>
<p>^ Ditto. My mom’s Chinese, and when I was a little kid, she either spanked me or my little brother (can’t remember which one) hard enough to have actually broken a wooden yard stick. The leather belts, of course, never broke. =[</p>
<p>All on bare skin, mind you. >_<</p>
<p>And, yeah. She yells <em>all</em> the time. Even when she’s not mad. -_-</p>
<p>It’s not a matter of East Asian parents not having love, but rather, failing to express that love through kindness rather than punishment.</p>
<p>Aka, they love, but they’re not loving.</p>
<p>smalllab, if you went to a elite high school in Beijing, how can you know what common Chinese family is?</p>