So I was just trying to think of things I wish I had known or had to think about at this point in the process that may help someone in this year’s class:
Remember, you do have until May 1 to accept an offer. You will get a lot of urging to make a decision asap. Only make that decision when you are ready to. Don't feel pressured to make a decision before you are ready.
If you absolutely know you are not going to accept an offer, go ahead and let that school know. That way, if they are using a wait list, they can go ahead and extend an offer to someone else.
Once you get a financial award letter after you have been accepted, if the cost is greater than you can afford, you can call the financial aid office and ask questions, see if there are other opportunities to get more $ from the school, etc. They may have given you their last and best offer, but it never hurts to ask. You can also ask the MT staff as well in case they have any pull with the financial aid people. They may or may not depending on the school.
Wait lists and deferrals are good things at this point. A wait list means a spot could open up for you. We had many friends who came off of wait lists sometimes weeks, sometimes months later. It is very possible to come off a wait list. For sanity's sake, however, I would not count on coming off the wait list. Find another program you will be happy with if a spot does not open up at your wait listed school.
A deferral means you are still under consideration which just requires patience until a final decision is made.
As an aside, if you are wait listed for a program you love, but have not heard that you have a spot at that school by May 1, you need to make sure you accept to a program you have been offered admission to by May 1 so you have someplace to go to school in the Fall. It is possible that even after you’ve accepted your spot in a program and paid your deposit, you may come off a wait list elsewhere. It will be up to you at that point to see if you are willing to give up the deposit you made at the first school in order to attend the school at which you had initially been wait listed. That’s just a personal choice. And there is no right or wrong answer. My main concern is that you make sure you accept somewhere by May 1 so you can go to school in the Fall.
Savor this last semester of high school with your child! There are so many "lasts". Enjoy each and every one! Spend as much time as you can with them.
If they don’t know how to already, be teaching them how to do laundry, clean bathrooms, cook in the microwave, etc. so they are well prepared for dorm living.
Also, remember your kids are just as stressed out about all of this as you are. If they are moody, emotional, or seem a bit unlike their usual self, make sure you talk to them and see how they are feeling. Try to find things to do that are fun and that relieve tension. Realize how hard it is for them at school. Many of their friends have known for months where they are going to college and have already put down housing deposits and selected roommates. Try to steer away from these topics for now. They will have exciting news to share soon too! But keep an eye on their emotions and their stress level.
Hang in there. The roller coaster ride is almost over. I'm excited for all of you and look forward to hearing where everyone decides to go!
re: #3 in my post #2120 - DON’T contact the financial aid office or MT folks about money until you have a definite acceptance to the program. You don’t want any questions you have in this regard to impact their decision making. So hold tight until you have that actual financial award letter in your hand after you’ve received your acceptance!
Ok, guys, everyone says they want everything to get back to the positive, etc., which I whole-heartedly agree with! However, that is never going to happen if everyone says that, and then adds their personal statement (aka-last word). I for one have something positive to share. I have met many of the class of 2019 CC posters personally while on audition visits, and have gotten to know others via PM. I have even gotten to know some of the Class of 2018 via PM. I can say without reservation that all have been positive, helpful,caring and/or supportive, For everyone’s friendship and support, I am truly thankful. May all of your children find happiness and fullfilment in whatever they do, regardless of what that is, or whatever their approach. The rest is just details.
As acceptances come in, let your kid take the lead in decision making. Yes, it’s a full family decision (esp $$) but it is the kid’s college experience. I am an anti-procrastinator, and as soon as full info was in (which was pretty much at the bitter end, but D got a bunch of happy news from both BA and BFA programs in just over a week!) I wanted to jump in with comparisons, charts, visits and get things DONE. She needed to process for what felt like forever (it must have been 3 whole days!) before she could really talk. It was hard to wait- especially after all the waiting for news, but decision making needed to come from HER timetable, not mine
Another wait list suggestion - if it’s for a school they would definitely attend - have them contact that school and let them know the school is their top choice.
Hello all. Long time lurker, almost never poster. I want to agree with everyone who has expressed gratitude for the support and helpful information found here. My daughter is waiting like the rest of your kids and it is excruciating. Hang in there, everyone!
Just want to reiterate something soozievt said: the theater world is very, very small. And I have to say, I haven’t been posting as much on here as I usually do, b/c I hesitate given some of the reactions to us “old-timers” (my D is a sophomore in an MT program). As @halflokum eloquently said, we may still have things to offer, and I know I have learned so very much (and continue to do so) from the older generations of posters like @soozievt. Moreover, I have made some wonderful friends on CC…people I have PMed and traded real names. We go to see each other’s kids’ shows, we share auditions, doctors, summer stock theater information, etc. These connections continue to be INVALUABLE. So my advice to everyone is this: be nice. Really. Just be nice. You will regret it if you aren’t. It’s good advice for your child, and it’s good advice for you. And it has repercussions that go far beyond this board.
That being said, these are the tough days. But for the vast majority of you and your kids, it WILL work out. All you can do is stay calm for your child, help them maintain a sense of humor, and be there to wipe their tears when they are hurt. B/c they WILL be hurt. There are always rejections in this business, for everyone. And, maintain your strength, b/c really…? This is just the beginning. Wait until they don’t get cast in their college shows; until they don’t get a slot at summer stock regional auditions; only get 2 CBs when others are getting 10 at said auditions; don’t get an EMC summer job; don’t get ANY professional summer job; etc. I always thought getting into a good BFA program was the hard part. I was wrong. That was, looking back with 20/20 hindsight, kinda the fun part. Laugh if you want to, but it’s true. Nothing about this business is easy. And if your child doesn’t learn to take the rejections in stride and go with the flow with a healthy dose of humor, they’re never going to make it.
My friends on CC (and wine…lots of wine) got me through this process two years ago, and continue to get me through each day as my D navigates the crazy world of BFA programs, summer stock, and constant auditions. I wish you all the best of luck, and hope that you can find the kind of friends I have found on this board…b/c you are going to need them. It doesn’t end on April 1st. It is just beginning.
@vocal1046 Good for me that D has her Steinhardt audition on Saturday. Guess I know what we are doing for breakfast on Sunday to celebrate the LAST audition!
Ooh, I’d definitely save it for after the audition unless she is an iron stomach chick. They’re huge. Mazel tov on the last audition. The kid just finished a few minutes ago. So glad it’s over.
Bravo to all the parents who have supported their children. As Monkey13 said this is just the beginning. My goal this year was to separate with grace from my son, not only because he is 900 miles away, but because this is his chosen path to follow, though the ups and downs pain me, it is not my life to lead. So continue loving and supporting your child and know that you truly have given them a wonderful gift this year, even at the risk of your sanity, lol
@vocal1046 , Those sound delicious! Is The Donut Plant near Steinhardt? I’ve never had them and may have to try them when I go back in a couple of weeks. Always searching for new things in that area
I thought audition fatigue had kicked in as we headed to our last(I hope) college audition this weekend. Late flight, arrived at hotel close to midnight, up early the next morning for the long drive to the school, D with a bad cold, both of us exhausted and cranky. But the minute we hit the school and she started interacting with the faculty and students, she was “on”. And I could see that this is what she truly loves, no matter how tired she is, no matter how bad she is physically feeling, being with theatre people, auditioning, interacting, just being in her element is like her life blood. And I know this is, at least for now, the right path for her. So it feels almost bittersweet to say that this part of the journey is over, it’s a relief that it’s over, but to be perfectly honest, I’m going to miss some aspects of this.
Also have to add, post audition dessert is our tradition, and we both hold a very soft spot for Chicago’s Do-Rite Donut Maple Bacon Donut, don’t think it can be beat. Anyone heading to Chicago Unifieds next year, definitley worth the walk, even in a blizzard.
Big standing ovation for your post, @monkey13! Extremely well said… Thank you and @halflokum for coming out of “semi-retirement” for posting! Please come more often; I really appreciate hearing from you experienced people and from all gracious people!
My favorite donuts are chocolate glazed with white cream or maple glazed with white cream from a local donut store that has been discussed here before.
