I don’t think anyone could say it better, @Calliene. Especially the last sentence of your post!
Thank you everyone! I really am so grateful that she has options, but am anxious she choose the right school for her. I hope these next two visits will give her some clarity.
I agree with @calliene More than visit have her sit in on classes. That’s what tipped the scale for my daughter.
I echo what everyone says about taking your time and visiting. It feels like pressure to make a decision because we know so many on this board who are on waiting lists and we want to release spots, but the truth is our young people deserve the time they need to decide. We are also in the visiting stages and it is hard to balance fit, heart and finances with a 17/18 year old who is making a long term commitment. I keep reminding myself I’m blessed S has choices, but in this moment it almost feels as agonizing as waiting on results. Well wishes to you all!
There is so much pressure throughout our lives to choose what others value, what others think we SHOULD want. We are taught to ignore our heart/gut/intuition because of some perceive future gain from something others desire. Yes, the “top” conservatories/programs have a lot to offer, but what “feels right” may have a greater “yield” for a specific individual. How does D imagine herself feeling if she were to reply as committed to either school - a twisted knot in the pit of her stomach? or a deep, open breath of “this is where I’m meant to be”? No matter what she commits to, she will be saying “no” to something else, a different opportunity, a road not taken. Which road feels like the one that would be a joy to travel?
The decision phase was the part of this process that we as a family found the most difficult, emotionally. I feel for all of you going through it now. VISIT is great advice… even though our situation precluded that (late wait list acceptance - but we DID visit her top 3 acceptances in April - just not the school she eventually committed to!) There is much to be said for the gut. I know others have done Pro/Con lists to help make the decision. Just know I’m thinking of you all, and look forward to your happy announcements as the month progresses!
Like I told one mom in a PM, at one point we actually got to the insane point of thinking, “Which sweatshirt would I rather wear?” That was when we knew we’d lost it, completely lost it. 8-} A potential 270K decision and we are weighing sweatshirts… That is what this crazy process does to normally mentally healthy people.
@Calliene - your comment made me laugh… we got to the other end - paid the deposit on the selected school, and then she said. “I should get a t-shirt” looked up the colors and she said “Oh my… Brown and Gold are not really the nicest school colors!” Oh well! She wears those shirts proudly - even if the colors aren’t the prettiest!!
Ah. Colors! I’ve been thinking about that for the last 6 months and hoping to God that D didn’t end up at a school with colors close to black & gold.
Last year, my husband built a custom corn hole set. (For those of you who aren’t midwesterners, it’s a bean bag game.) He painted one of them with the school colors (black & gold) and logo of our older daughter’s chosen school and left the other one blank.
It’s been blank for quite a while. (And for a period there, I thought it would remain blank forever! lol!)
I’m thinking we’re close to him finishing the set!
S is happy he got a fairly decent mascot out of the choice. Not bad wearing a cute, wolf-like dog thing. School colors don’t match his usual “flamboyant” dress code, but they’re serviceable enough. And when you’re groggily walking through the dorm hallways, they’re just the ticket.
All I can say is this part of the process is way more difficult then I anticipated!!! Glad I have you all to commiserate with!
I think if you look back at the thread from last year - something about “What was the worst part of the process?” Most folks agreed it was “the waiting” and “the deciding”. Preparing for and attending auditions seemed like a walk in the park compared to the stress of waiting and deciding. We’re with you all the way. No other group of people on the planet is the same kind of “crazy”. We get it.
Hoping for some WL movement. Anyone declining a spot to Ball State or BW??
I sympathize with you all on the endless waiting, whether it’s to get off waitlists or for financial aid offers to come in – @Calliene, that was our big question mark last year, as we couldn’t have afforded the dream school without some serious help in that department! We’re
now waiting on summer stock offers, so it never does end, we all just get older…but not necessarily wiser. Fingers are crossed for everyone!
anyone else have a kid still waiting for HARTT? it is April 2…
Echoing you all with the deciding factor - anyone still waiting to hear from Belmont? Trying to figure out visits SAAP - any other west coasters running out of weekends to fly across the country before May 1? 
Getting to some of these schools takes a whole day each way–oy!
@Thespiandad I’m still waiting on Hartt too.
@stage2nature good luck
You too! @Thespiandad
My D has a friend, girl, declining Ball State,