Schools can also lose their appeal during the process for a lot of reasons, financial aid being maybe the most obvious.
you can also get offered acting instead of MT, have issues with being pressured to make a commitment early or meet students or faculty who give you pause.
I could be wrong, and surely chime in, @martin247998, but it sounds like over the course of the audition season there may have been a discovery as to what kind of school and location was preferred. Perhaps the accepted schools donât have what heâs looking for after all. I do agree about the talent pool changing every single year so there are no guarantees.
I didnât want to pile on, but I agree with everyone whoâs questioning how @martin247998âs S could possibly be accepted to 7 schools and be considering a gap year because he didnât get into his âdreamâ school. I agree that S might not get into âdream schoolâ next year, either. I really think that Sâs current plan is a big mistake. Youâve come so far; donât blow it now!
I would be concerned that if you decline an application to a school, that it is a strike against you when you apply the following year. How would you justify that to them? Itâs different to ask for a deferral. A deferral says I have chosen your school, but circumstances make me want to push back when I attend. But declining an offer is different. Would your son have a whole other set of schools that he would prefer to apply to next year that you feel he can get into? Because I donât think you can count on his dream school if he doesnât budge from the waitlist this year.
D had a very talented friend who had very specific ideas about âthe rightâ BFA programs. Ended up with some nice acceptances, but not their top picks. Ended up choosing a school that they had originally defined as their safety (but grew on them). Today they are happy as a clam at that school, and swear they wouldnât switch to the âtop choiceâ school even if given a chance
I think we all need to take a step back and remember that this is @martin247998 's process - and not our own. And perhaps not everything has been shared here. Students opt to take gap years for a variety of reasons - remember how much growing and changing your child did during the audition process? I think the warnings have been expressed - but just like we frown upon shaming a student for not choosing the âname brandâ program - we should also not shame a student/family for making a different choice. Could the outcome after a gap year be less than desirable for this student? Perhaps. But itâs not OUR decision to make. @martin247998 - only you and your S know what is the best path for you. Youâve experienced the audition process - so you know whatâs at stake - and you know that there are no guarantees - if the choice to take a gap year is what you as a family has decided what is best - then so be it! We know only a fraction of the story here - why are we all so quick to jump to judgement?
@kategrizz Thank you for your support and understanding.
Nicely said @kategrizz. I think for many who struggle to get even one admission the idea of having 7 acceptances from which to choose probably seems like an embarrassment of riches. I know my daughter is only a sophomore at the moment and I am already thinking in terms of safeties and getting at least one admit! This is such a daunting process. But no matter what, fit is fit and if even if you have lots of choices, if none of them feel like the right one then as you so wisely pointed out only that student and family can really make the decision as to what is best. My daughter has a good friend who chose a program because it was the best option of her initial round of offers and a well respected program at a large university, but as it turned out it was just not the right place for her. She really wanted a conservatory program but ended up not getting accepted into any of the ones she first auditioned for as a senior. So she took what everyone perceived to be her best option. But she hated it and ended up leaving after one semester. She took a gap semester and really refocused her energies on preparing for the audition process and honing her material. And she was accepted into three conservatory programs on the second round and is now happily training in VP at Oberlin. Many people told her she was making a big mistake leaving the big program and basically starting over, but it as it turned out it was the right thing for her.
@kategrizz When someone posts on a public forum, even if they are not soliciting advice, they are going to get it. Iâm sure that there are many reasons for someone not to take advice from strangers who obviously do not have the complete story, but I do think the posters who commented to @martin247998 are concerned for her sonâs outcome and have the best intentions. I donât think anyone is trying to âshameâ another for making a different choice. I really donât think we were being too judgmental, instead we were offering insights that may be helpful. In the end, it comes off that you are judging us for trying to be helpful.
I have to agree with @uskoolfish. Of course we are here to SUPPORT. I donât think the posts were judgmental. I think part of support is sharing suggestions and perspectives and things to consider. The decision is up to the student and their family. Perhaps I see it that way from not only years of participating on CC, but also in my line of work as a college counselor. ALL decisions rest with the student and his/her parents and what they want to do. But providing open and honest and even realistic advice is meant with good intentions, and a subjective look at things that sometimes one might not see when in the midst of it all. It doesnât make these suggestions âright,â but more something to consider. For instance, my saying that I am not sure if a 17 or 18 year old can know he/she doesnât like their schools at all if they havenât visited and I am curious as to why those schools were then on the list (though I understand a change of heart can happen). I always counsel students to not focus solely on one school because I donât believe there is just one school where one can be happy and thrive. Had my D not gotten into her favorite school, I feel pretty sure she would have enjoyed and been happy with the other schools on her list (which is why they were on the list) even if she favored the school she attended a bit more. I think what got some to respond here is the focus on only wanting the wait list school or else none of the schools and trying again. I assume, therefore, the idea is to try for this one favored school again next year, and the student should realize it may or may not happen next year and so I would assume he would create a list of new schools (and not the ones he got into and doesnât want to attend (and not sure they would accept him a second time if he now turns them down). I think many of us support a gap year, generally speaking, and simply found the reasoning in this case to be unusual but certainly supported. I think a message board like this invites others to comment, and I think the comments I have read are with thoughtful intentions, and not judgmental. I agree that some might find the insights offered to be helpful. I am sure members will get behind whatever this student decides because whatâs right for one person is not right for everyone else.
I also donât see how the comments in the responses are all that different than if a student came on here and said, âmy list of BFA in MT schools consists of CCM, CMU, UMich, NYU, Boston Conservatory and thatâs itâ and I feel pretty certain a slew of parents would comment, âthat is very chancy to only apply to 5 BFA schools, considered some of the toughest to get into with very low acceptance rates and also no back up safety school.â Am I right? I donât think that would be judgmental, but rather thoughtfully submitted suggestions to help the poster, who is free to consider or discard the input.
@uskoolfish - I donât think I misinterpreted the posts that precede mine. Helpful advice quickly turned to âHow could you think of giving up a sure thing for another ride on the crazy merry-go-round?â I agree - a public forum invites public comment. I just thought it was time for a post from a different perspective.
@martin247998 commented earlier that they were going to consult today about her sonâs situation with their audition cosch (good idea!) and so it seemed as though she was seeking input of some sort. The fact that she commented about the situation here, I think, brought out others who were also offering their input, thinking she wanted some.
On my end, I was rather curious how a student could not like 7 different schools that somehow landed on their self selected college list and had yet to visit any of them? I wasnât sure either why he had chosen these schools (I assume for some good reason) and would know for sure he would be unhappy to attend them if he hadnât seen them first hand. I worry about students who are fixated on one school in such a competitive process and if taking gap year, the key would be to make sure to create a list of many schools they like enough to attend and not focus too narrowly on trying for the same dream school.
First and foremost, this entire process was a new one for me and my son. I have two older children, one an engineer and the other an industrial designer, who applied to the schools they liked, were accepted and went. Acceptances were rolling so we knew early in the year where they were going. This process is like no other that we had any familiarity with. Even though we reside in the suburbs of a major city and my son attends a large public school, we got no advice, orientation or consultation from his counselor or the school college counselor. In fact, he ran the risk of having to sit for finals, which seniors do not have to do, for missing school to attend unifieds. We initially scheduled 5 auditions for unifieds, plus 2 onsite in New York and Chicago. We had no idea how unifieds worked. Once we got there, we saw that he could do walk in auditions and decided to hedge our bets on schools that might work for him. It is a nerve wracking experience to the uninitiated. We were not even aware that there were audition coaches until we attended unifieds. Bottom line, we were trying to make sure that he got accepted to one school. We were pleasantly surprised to get several acceptances. Some were for MT and others were for acting even though he auditioned for MT. After further research, we found that some were not a fit for him. AS the process unfolded, he became more aware of what his needs were and what he wanted. He and I are keenly aware of the risks of auditioning for his âdreamâ school and not getting in next year. We are learning as we go. If we had it to do over again, we would do things differently, but we are trying to make the best decision we know how. Thanks for taking the time and for the input and thoughts. I really was just looking for support as to how hard the process this is. As for me, I will be returning to lurking instead of posting. Good luck to all of you and your children.
Thanks for sharing your process @martin247998 ! It may make sense, now learning more, that he take a gap year and go about the process differently next year and visit schools and create a solid college list of many schools he likes. I advised my nephew with his college process, also in an arts/music field, after his admission process (done on their own) resulted in no acceptances and he took a gap year. The second year, we started from scratch and I advised him every step of the way. He had a very different college list and process and got into all but one of his schools and landed at a school he loved (SUNY Purchase) and has since graduated. So, I surely understand in certain situations that a gap year may be a positive thing. Now that you explained that your son was auditioning at walk-ins and so forth, that you might go about the process very differently if doing it again. That may be worthwhile, though I would still caution your son to not focus too narrowly on the favorite school and try to find many favorites and also do some visits. Fingers crossed for him as things have a way of working out in the end!
@martin247998 - I am sorry if you interpreted anything I said as judgmental. It is, of course, your familyâs decision to make. We canât even give really well considered advice - After all- we donât know what schools we are talking about. If you DO decide on a gap year- I would recommend spending time researching and visiting schools etc before/during the audition process. And I would be prepared to let the 7 schools he has now go forever. People who I know who have "re auditioned " for previous acceptances ( generally due to attempted transfer) have not been successful.
@kategrizz- I donât think it is judgmental to offer an opposing opinion respectfully. We should support each other, and no one has the right to belittle anotherâs choices. But if this site were to become limited to âthatâs awesomeâ it would defeat the purpose of the collective knowledge of the group. JMHO- but if you donât want to hear what other people think, you shouldnât askâŠ
@martin247998 - Please reconsider withdrawing to the âshadowsâ. You are right, this process is like no other, and some of us âknewâ what we were getting into before we started it. All of us have learned from the mistakes of others, as well as from our own. Many of us would do things differently, if we had it to do all over again. Compared to some of us, it sounds like you and your son have navigated - unaided - a tremendous learning curve in a VERY short period of time. Take what you need from it and do what is best for your son and your family. I hope that you will continue to share the rest of your journey.
@martin247998-my son too had his heart set on one particular school and his heart was broken when he was not accepted (he would have loved to be on the wait list!). He was accepted by a total of 4 or 5 other programs (happily, the farther away we get, the less I remember!!) and it was very hard for him to stop thinking about what was not going to happen and focus on what was possible. I also considered a gap year for him but he visited another program that was very interested in him and he fell in love and boom, heart mended. A gap year is never a bad idea, but a rebound program can also be worthwhile. I know that whichever decision your son will make, he is fortunate to have a very supportive family who has his back.
@martin247998, I too hope my comments were not perceived as judgemental. We know people who re-auditioned after a gap year and I was just trying to pass along lessons learned from their experience. Of course only you know what the best decision is for your particular situation. We are all rooting for you and want the best for you and your S. Iâm sure you will make a great decision. Just know most posters here are just trying to help. I hope you will continue to post.
I havenât read back to the most current posts in this thread, so I hope Iâm not jumping right in the middle of a current conversation BUT âŠ
It just occurred to me to book hotels for move in day and Parentâs Weekend for both of my kids. (I have a Class of '18 kid at Vanderbilt.) Last year I did this REALLY early for my kid - she was ED1 and everything was wrapped up by mid December. I just went online to book hotels now and there were only a couple of rooms left at our preferred hotel in Nashville and the hotel for my MT kid in Nebraska.
So book 'em Danno! (That really shows my age!) =))
@KaMaMom â already booked for move in for Ball State. Great reminder!