…and restaurant reservations as early as possible as well!
@martin247998 - the best of luck with your son. Even without any information of how things unfolded for you during the process, I could tell you that the gap year was great for my daughter and that you and your son as individuals with your own particular experience(s) are no doubt doing what is right for you. Support, ho!
@KaMaMom - Great advice! We learned very early (D was also ED) why her school is lovingly referred to as “the land of the overprepared”!
I didn’t even think about booking a room for move in day yet! Yikes! Thanks!
@martin247998 My S received an artistic acceptance to all schools he applied to and is taking a “gap” year of sorts. We made a very calculated decision on what would be the best route for him. Please, feel free to reach out to me via PM. I would love to share with you how this conversation went with some of his schools. Four of the 6 offered my S a transfer opportunity for next year, so he will not be without options.
This board is a source of a lot of help, but as pointed out in one of the decisions threads it is a “college” board, so the goal here is college. The views expressed here are a result of a singular focus, please don’t take them personal. You would be surprised how many other lurkers may be in your exact position or will be in the future. I myself had decided I would not post my decision after some push back I received via PM when I commented my S might take a gap year. However, a kind poster here who knew my situation suggested I reach out to you. I decided to post here to let all parents/students considering alternative routes know that they are not alone!
Now back to KaMamom’s point, I hope everyone booked their hotel rooms for move in! 
This year it seems that some folks will just not let of their own point of view and experiences…I find it so disheartening. If you haven’t lived it, you don’t know it. @martin247998 responded to the many posts responding to his son’s dilemma. That should have been enough. Writing on a forum can be tricky…words alone do not convey emotions. Let the parents and/or students who took a gap year, take the lead on this one. It is not up to others to question this family’s unique predicament, imply that it’s impossible that he can’t like any of the schools he was accepted to or paint dire scenarios for entering the audition pool again. So many posts state their are many roads and there are. We should do well to remember that.
I think it is really neat to see all the different paths and final decisions people are making. I also think gap years can be very positive and so hearing about that path and where it takes those students would be great if people stay on and share down the line.
@CTownMom - I completely agree with the statement that it can be difficult to convey true intent in written form - so easy for meaning to be lost without context/tone etc. I also agree (and have said so repeatedly - so many times that sometimes I feel silly saying it again) that EVERYONE needs to make their own choices in this process. Again, I apologize if questions or anecdotes were seen as problematic- but I believe those of us who posted them (of course I can only truly speak for myself) were only trying to add information - not judgement. I applaud @ifyouonlyknew and @MTkellbell for sharing their “non-traditional” paths (in that they, like @martin247998 have multiple offers to choose from) and providing lurkers and posters with information about other journeys.
I also think learning of various experiences helps others who may be contemplating certain paths. For those contemplating a gap year, it would be helpful to understand what @IfYouOnlyKnew posted about speaking with the accepted schools about her son coming next year and it is encouraging that four gave a positive response. However, I am confused a bit about calling these offers a “transfer opportunity” because I thought after a gap year that a student would still be a freshman admit. Also, if taking a gap year after having been accepted to schools one is truly interested in attending (I realize this doesn’t apply to martin’s son), I thought you can ask for a deferment. I didn’t think it would be a transfer. However, perhaps a piece is missing and her son is going to enroll in coursework elsewhere during the gap year and would be considered a transfer in that case. Maybe IfYouOnly Knew is willing to explain the transfer thing. The board is a place to learn from others and so those contemplating a gap year could learn what such a process entails. Again, I think gap years are a good thing for a lot of young people who will have a variety of reasons for taking one.
@KaMaMom and anyone that goes to a school in a football town google the sports schedule because football weekends fill up early and hotel prices triple. You may end up staying over an hour away. It never hurts to book a room early in case they are cast in a show and cancel it if you end up not going. I had to change around my entire plans the first year due to football.
I’ve shared all I will be sharing on the open forum about OUR decision. I can certainly agree that my choice of wording may not have conveyed a clear message, but that is something I can easily clear up with @martin247998 if he/she is interested. I don’t speak college admission lingo fluently, as it is far from my career path, but I’m sure my point was clear for those that needed the extra encouragement or assurance that there is more than one option. Most importantly, I’m not going anywhere, so for those in the future that need a sympathetic ear or different perspective, feel free to reach out to me. I promise I don’t bite, I don’t judge and I won’t make you feel wrong for wanting/choosing another path!
I so appreciate any positive thoughts/comments regarding my daughter’s “non-traditional” decision, @toowonderful , because it HAS been a very difficult decision for all of us. @IfYouOnlyKnew, it sounds that we now have alot in common! I never would have predicted this outcome, and it has taught me that remaining open-minded is critical in this process. My D knows in her heart that this is the right decision for her. She also knows what she’s giving up to follow her heart. Taking gen-eds online will allow her to continue her academic pursuits, and if there is a change of course for her, she can always transfer those credits earned and attend a “brick and mortar” institution. She is on an upward trajectory and feels like opportunity is knocking NOW! If this path proves to be the wrong one, she can always reevaluate and switch directions. EVERYONE has to do what’s right for them, even if it is not the typical or tradiitonal path.
@MtKellbell…I applaud your D following her heart and everyone should heed that and do what feels best for themselves and not what they they believe others think they should do. Also, as you point out, no decision has to be a forever one, but just the one for now and so a change of heart later down the line can always be taken too! Good luck to your daughter with the opportunities that lie ahead!
I shared on here before that one of my daughters switched grad school programs part way through a 3.5 year program and at first was afraid that others would think she was nuts to leave MIT, which was ranked #2 for grad schools in her field, but she wanted a different specialty in her field, which necessitated applying to different programs. We told her to follow her heart and she did and it has worked out beautifully for her (she is working professionally after graduating from her second graduate program at Berkeley).
I agree @MTkellbell, we may have a bit in common.
For those choosing or contemplating a gap year, I applaud your courage. I had a relative who was an instrumental performance major who ended up taking 13 years at 4 different academic institutions before she finally graduated with her undergraduate degree. I look back and wonder if it may have been best to let her perform, which she had many opportunities to do, or just work, rather than go to school right away. To be successful in college you have to want to be there. And if life is calling you in a different direction, you need to listen carefully. The good news - in case any of you encounter stops and starts in undergraduate school - is that she eventually got a Masters and a PhD. But that undergraduate degree took forever!! She would have been better off taking some time off, working and earning some money instead of jumping from one school to the next.
I wish all of you and your children the best with your decisions. And I look forward to seeing where life takes everyone. And i look forward to seeing you post their success stories in the success thread!
Thanks @vvnstar! I appreciate the encouragement! One of the hardest parts of let your child grow up is giving them the room to do it their way! I’m learning and growing through this process as well.
Edit: Not that their way is bad, it’s just that it’s not my way!
College is always there if a person wants to do it later. Also, I would not want to send my kid to college if he/she didn’t want to attend (either at all, at this point in time, or to the particular colleges that gave an offer). Would be a waste of time and money.
I have to give you kudos to supporting and allowing your daughter to do what she is choosing to do, even if her choice is not the one you had expected. This is the time of their lives to let them decide for themselves, and while guidance is important, the ultimate decision should lie with them, in my view.
I can relate to a “different path” of some sort. Our MT daughter came to us in the middle of tenth grade and made a case for graduating HS a year early after her junior year, and this was in addition to having had an early entrance into kindergarten (that one we decided as the parents as she was just four!) and so chronologically she would be going to college two years ahead. That certainly was not our plan for her. But she made a very strong well reasoned case and was always a very strong willed kid and so we went along with her choice, which meant starting the college process a lot sooner than we thought and we were in the midst of her older sister’s process at the time. It all worked out and in fact, in retrospect, she knew herself well and her choice was truly the right one for her.
I never considered others’ comments as judgmental, however. I can understand why some would say, “you let your kid go to college at age 16 and in NYC???” and so on. I’d be the first to say that this option is not right for everyone. Those who personally knew my daughter, however, supported and understood why it was right for HER. Her guidance counselor also agreed. Just like when she entered K a year early, and if anything, the popular choice among parents at our nursery school (of boys) was to give their kid an extra year and start K late and so we were doing the opposite extreme, and so not everyone understood. But her teachers understood because they knew her. So, I have no qualms that others don’t understand an unconventional path and I don’t feel they are judging but simply may not fully get it as they don’t know the child personally. Those who do know my child personally, do get it. Again, I don’t think my child’s path would be right for everyone! It isn’t. That’s why every case is different and I happen to enjoy hearing about the many paths and experiences others are having. I applaud parents who allow their kids to forge their own paths and decisions at this juncture in their young adult lives.
The funny thing is my S chose the option I suggested 6 months to a year ago. Now it’s his idea, on his terms! We are excited about his path!
^^Oops, @IfYouOnlyKnew…I think I referred to your child as a daughter…sorry, I see you have a son! ~X(