Yes, pray that it’s only mice. S is an hour away - which is great for seeing shows or emergency health vists (not necessary so far, thankfully) - but as others have mentioned, modern technology makes it so easy to stay in touch. Not that we have ever had this experience from our S who only replies in one-word/letter answers (“k”) after receiving multiple pleading texts, many of you will get to text/talk/skype with your kids multiple times per day. You’ll get to see live video as they walk to class, or try on their choices for Halloween costumes (the MT holiday that brings on Oscar-red-carpet-like enthusiasm). Your kids will share parts of their lives as it’s happening (at least that’s what I hear from others). No more hanging around in your dorm room on Sunday nights, waiting for the long distance phone rates to drop.
I totally agree with @halflokum. I think it depends on the kid and how independent they are. I personally didn’t have any geographical limits, in part because this business itself is so competitive that I didn’t want to lower the chances further by restricting based on geography. However, I do live close to any NYC airport, so I can hop on a plane fairly easily and relatively inexpensively. For instance, my D went to Northwestern. Southwest offers inexpensive flights directly from my area to Chicago, often for under $200 RT. So I was reassured knowing I could hop on a plane if need be and get there quickly.
But I also went by their own desires. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t. This same D did not want to apply to any schools west of Chicago; she just didn’t ‘feel it.’ I actually had to push her to apply to Chicago–she wasn’t sure she wanted to go that far. When she got in, we flew out and visited, and she loved it. Sometimes they are too inexperienced to know quite what they want. When my oldest S was applying long ago, he was firm he wanted to be only within the NYC area, so that’s what we did. But I do have to say that it was a mistake for me to listen to him, in retrospect. He was so certain at the time he wanted NYC, but in fact it was terrible for him. So sometimes they don’t know what’s best for them. It’s hard to know this at the time though. That’s why kids transfer.
I also have to bring up that just because they are close geographically, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy to get there. My older D went to Williams, which is in a rural area of Massachusetts. It was a long, exhausting 6 hour drive to get there, including a final hour in twisting mountainy roads. I hated the drive. And she didn’t have a car, so when she wanted to come home, she took the Williams bus to NYC, then the train down to where we lived–it took all day and was not much cheaper than a plane from Northwestern.
My younger S goes to school in London, which is definitely far! He’s had to really mature quickly as he lives very independently. I do talk to him with What’sApp and FaceTime, but not as much as I’d like. (My S sounds like @mom4bwayboy’s S!) And it is not easy to hop on a plane to London, that’s for sure. But in this case, he knew what he wanted and I supported him.
My point in all of this is that it is very individual and depends a lot on the individual kid. But also that you should trust your own parenting antenna. Sometimes the kids think they know what they want, but they don’t (I mean they’re really young!). And sometimes they do know what they want, very clearly. The only thing I wouldn’t do is go by my own emotional needs to have them close to the nest–Facetime, What’s App, texting, can keep you quite close. But again that’s personal.
We are a plane trip away from the S’s college, and sure, it sucks that we can’t see him in everything, and he doesn’t come home for thanksgiving or spring break (or summer either, but that’s because he’s busy). But he’s in one of the best theater towns in America, already established with an apartment and a couple of survival gigs and a pretty good network of theater contacts…in short, almost completely self-sufficient. IDK if he’d be so ready for the real world if we were dropping in all the time.
@connections, your story about getting to Williams was what I meant by my “ready set go” challenge. Actual distance is not the only measure of time and aggravation. I have previously shared my near decapitation accident story on sudden snow squall drive to a much loved MT program audition from a major metro. The drive there took longer than my cross country flight. The drive back to the same major metro was, shall we say, “elongated” and very very expensive but at least not fatal.
That said, I still think being able to drive if you want to is really a good thing. Not a necessary thing but a good thing.
We didn’t set a distance limit, as we didn’t want to rule out some excellent programs in parts far and wide. But DD definitely wasn’t interested in going down south or to the west coast. When it came down to deciding between schools she was accepted to, distance was definitely a factor, though. Of the top three, one was a plane ride (OCU), one a 2-hour drive (Marymount Manhattan) and one an 8-hour drive (Point Park). She split the difference and went with Point Park.
@Halfokum, so glad you’re safe! Very scary! And yes, totally agree, it’s a plus to be able to drive there. Just take into account the type of drive. If the drive is really exhausting, you’re going to find yourself hopping into the car and driving up for a weekend a lot less than you thought you would.
That said, I’d love to be a quick drive away this time for my youngest! I’ve actually never had any of my kids closer than 5 hours away, and yes, I’ve missed shows for my D at Northwestern and will certainly miss shows for my S in London. But all things considered, I think these schools have still been the best for them.
There are so many factors; distance is definitely one, but for us, not the biggest one.
I will say that we were comfortable setting that 6 hour radius because of where we live. We had a plethora of amazing choices that fell into that geography. I might have advised differently had we lived elsewhere. Sounded like @Sammy8028 is in a a similar situation… Where creating a geographic restriction would still leave lots of options for a well balanced list.
Ditto what @kategrizz posted. We are in the same boat - geographically speaking - and together, our S, and H and I set “a day’s drive” as the radius. Many great options - including several top-tier and terrific lesser-knowns. Farthest program was 9 hour drive - not great for an overnight trip, but flight options were not really any better. Bus trip would be OK. Does anyone ever take those anymore? I know I did, when I was in college (8 hours on Greyhound) and grad school (about 13 hours). S has done it once to make a summer visit to spend time with a school friend. One-hour trip was easy peasy.
@mom4bwayboy, yeah, definitely, many students still take the bus! There are several bus companies that are really not that bad. I mean, it’s not a limo, but it’s inexpensive transpiration that gets you where you need to go. There are also schools that will offer their own buses to and from large cities, 1-4 hours away. This is something to look into if you get serious about an individual school.
Mine took Greyhound by her lonesome to Pittsburgh for her Point Park visit after she was admitted. But she’s always been independent that way. I told her in the future she can take Metro North to NYC and then the Mega Bus from there. Definitely the cheapest route. When I’m not driving her, that is.
We didn’t set a distance, but even with all the travel to auditions and lists and possibilities from day 1, I never, ever imagined that it would come down to 2 schools outside of driving distance, and finally to THE ONE that requires a full day of plane travel with at least one, sometimes 2 connections, and really no family anywhere nearby to pick up the slack if something does happen (thank goodness for old high school friends and sorority sisters who have moved to “the city”). This will be very interesting, to say the least. We could have set serious limits, but from West Texas, to be reasonable, we still needed a minimum 5.5 hour radius just to get to a competitive program (though WTAMU or Texas Tech would have been a fine option if she wasn’t looking to get away from her high school classmates).
I will say, I’m kind of stoked that NYU doesn’t have move in until the 28th…most of Ds friends have already moved in (some as long ago as 2 weeks) or will be by this weekend. I get her for 11 more days. 
She’s excited. I’m excited. But we are all kind of in denial that this is HAPPENING.
We did not set a distance and drove 1000 miles last week to drop D off at TCU. It was a long drive but luckily Chicago and Dallas are hubs and there are lots of daily flights for future visits. I am still in denial that she is not coming home soon.
@WTXMom I feel you about a days travel even by plane. Same boat over here. UNCSA is not easy to get to from across the country. But if they are happy we are happy- right?
I must say I never thought I would spend most of my “vacations” in Westerville, OH. There is a saying here in Maine, “You can’t get there from here”, and it has felt like that at times.
Never have families been more grateful for FaceTime, Skype and Facebook video messenger!
I have been off this board for the entire summer – I od’d and had to take a break but it is great to be “back”. We droped off at boco this past weekend – and mine could not be further from the west coast, but flights are plentiful and there really aren’t many decent programs to choose from on our side. This first week without her is so strange, her car is in the driveway and her room is a mess but she isn’t home. Would love to hear how other drop off’s went!
mtmamma2020, my D is a sophomore at BoCo…we get into Boston on September 1st, which is the first day she is able to move into her apartment. Oy, I thought packing for freshman year was tricky, but just wait til your D moves into an apartment next year! Getting the furniture and furnishings all together is quite complicated when you’re not within driving distance. We’re just hoping Amazon Prime comes through for us and she has a bed to sleep on before my husband and I have to return home! Such is life when your kid goes to school cross county, or in my case "halfway"cross country!
@mtmamma2020 We dropped off on 8/19 at Coastal Carolina coming from the West Coast. An experience to be sure! Our oldest is not far so had no clue as to how different it would be flying cross country! Brought 5 suitcases (plus a little extra in our bags), shipped one box, and spend many hours after arriving (over several days) buying stuff for D’s suite. She is so far away, but LOVES her MT class (built in friend group as they have been talking for months) and really lucked out with her suite mates. Her first week went very well and 2nd week going great so far. Only thing she really has to get used to is the weather! We seem to be handling our youngest being gone pretty well so far, as she seems to be doing so well there, but this empty nester thing is…interesting.
Drop off was an interesting challenge for us. My youngest child (middle schooler) came down with a very bad case of mono a few days before we were scheduled to leave so my husband and I had to split up. I drove our D to SUNY and he stayed home with the other kids. Loading in was “interesting” with just the two of us. It was comedic - no elevators and a good amount of stairs but we managed. Spent a day opening a bank account and learning the area (and how to get to Target/grocery store on the bus). She settled in nicely. Day 1 each of the students performed one of their audition monologues for the whole company (all classes). Nothing like jumping right in. She said the upperclassmen were very encouraging but that she was never so intimidated in her life!
@Bogeyw We moved our Junior into a house over the summer. We did it while he was away at summer stock. Luckily we are within an easy driving distance of his school and a couple of his housemates worked locally and could help us with the furniture and boxes. I’m not going to think about it yet with the younger one!
We are working into our next new rhythm - from 4 kids home to 2 kids home. Sighhhhh.
@mtmamma2020 We dropped D off at Point Park last week and I must say those folks know how to do it! As an urban campus, there’s not a ton of places to park and unload. So they had us pull into this parking lot and students and staff unloaded our car for us into laundry bins, which they marked with D’s name and room number. Then they gave me a parking pass and directions across the river to a lot where they had arranged free parking. Meanwhile, D went to the quad where they had set up tables for things like dropping off your health form and getting your id. They also had coffee and bagels and stuff. A shuttle brought me back to Point Park, and I met her there. We waited about half an hour in the beautiful summer weather, met some nice folks, got her id, and proceeded to her room, where all her stuff had already been unloaded. All we had to do was set it up!
The next day was orientation. Another super smooth experience. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and the upper class theater students have made a real point of reaching out to the new students, making them feel at home and offering them advice. They got their “bigs” the other day, and she’s paired with a BFA MT senior boy she really likes. The school had several activities to keep the kids occupied until classes started yesterday (convocation, a boat ride around Pittsburgh) and the sophomore theater students had a party just for them and the freshmen. This week is voice and dance placements, classes start, and there’s more nightly activities throughout the week (last night was a Monte Carlo night, and there’s a COPA kickball thing in the park coming up, too).
I have to say, so far I’m super impressed, and I think my D is happy, too. At least she seems so, and she’s sure as heck not calling home every day miserable. I’m lucky if I get a text LOL!
Special thanks to @GSOMTMom for all the advice over the summer.