@EastchesterMom I don’t know what the answer is but there HAS to be a better way for these kids to get into a program. I know that no one wants or believes at this point in the process that our kids really do end up where they will flourish. I know I didn’t believe in when we got in nowhere. 4 years later really makes a difference. Our girls are now in a new scary phase that I am already stressing about. It never ends LOL
You are so right, @bisouu. D was devastated when the only MT acceptance she got was the (at the time) brand-new Molloy/CAP21. Four years later, it is clear that this was the very best place for her to be. Folks, if you have a couple of hours with nothing to do, read our 2018 threads - you will find that they are VERY similar to the current threads. In our year, it was bisouu’s D and mine who struggled - well, look at them now. Yes, they did well, but now the anxiety begins anew, and may last for years. The difference is: they’re well-trained and ready to meet the challenges head-on!
… and I got a lock on 2019 for being the parent of a kiddo who had a rough go of it, amirite @bisouu & @EastchesterMom ? =))
Honestly, giving the advice to up and coming kids that they better have their game face on as a high school freshman in order to get into a BFA program for college, doesn’t sit well with me. While technically true I guess, these are still kids, babies really, who still have no idea about the oyster the world really is. I’ve watched some kids who have been molded (moulded?) by stage parents since birth morph into HORRIBLE human beings. With zero self awareness and not a lick of real social skills to save their lives. I’m not saying anyone here is that stage parent … AT ALL … but I really worry about how competitive this is becoming and how some kids might be missing out on their real and true calling in life because all they know is the theatre world.
Ugh. I don’t even know why I’m writing this … so many things have changed in the last 20-30 years when raising kids. I wish we as a society could just go back to letting kids be kids and not forcing them to think about the rest of their lives when they’re 12 and 13 years old.
Soapbox, off.
Agreed @KaMaMom! I grew up an athlete. I remember my father saying don’t even think of “specializing” until after HS. I played 3 sports until HS, and 2 throughout. Now I hear parents wanting their 10 year olds to specialize (e.g., play soccer and only soccer - or do specialty camps - 12 months a year). Unless it’s a sport like gymnastics, I’m not a fan of such early and narrow specializing!
Yup, @KaMaMom - your D was the poster girl in 2019 who snatched victory from the jaws of defeat; I remember it! You are also right about some stage parents who push the kids to the detriment of - well, being a kid. There was one like that in our HS, 2 years behind D. She thought who she was and everyone hated her. After her snarky mom shook her head with “sympathy” about my D’s “failure,” and bragged that her star would get in to any MT program she applied to, the kid didn’t - and wound up in another brand-new program! (I love karma!) I’m not knocking the girl’s talent, she definitely is a triple threat, but the prima donna attitude will hold her back, whether she knows it now or not.
As a parent struggling through this process, i appreciate the comments from @EastchesterMom and @bisouu so much. Thank you!
Also, @KaMaMom I could not agree more. I wanted my child to be well rounded. She’s already far more dedicated than I ever was at her age.
Hugs to all the moms hurting and worrying for their children right now.
@KaMaMom I totally agree with you. We have 3 teens, our oldest just went through the MT process (committed to CCPA) she didn’t even think about college until junior year other than in the broadest sense of one day she would be going. We don’t let our kids specialize in any one activity/academic area and while our oldest son played club baseball that was because he didn’t do any other off season activity. Now that he is in high school he runs track, plays baseball and is generally just a kid. As he finishes up his sophomore year we will meet with his guidance counselor talk about what he would like to do in the future and go from there. Same will apply to the 14 year old although he is taking a different path already by heading to a trade high school next fall. We just don’t believe that you have to be hyper focused on one thing at such a young age. I don’t want my kids to follow a certain path only to find out it is not for them and have no other options. Some probably think of me as a slacker mom but I really let them drive the train and help guide them. I understand that life is competitive and I learned so much about how much going through this with my daughter but I want my children to enjoy their youth and the short time they have to explore and just enjoy where they are at this moment.
OH it only takes going through this process to knock the prima donna attitude to the CURB! I get so many snarky comments - third kid through the process - people can’t understand why I insisted on a very balanced list, tell me their kid is way too talented for school x or school y - then end up without choices. Unfortunately, some people have to learn on their own.
Right again, @artskids - I was one of those people, I’m sorry to say. I knew zilch-o; D was lucky to survive my ignorance.
We ALL live and learn!
So hoping we become one of the success stories. No MT acceptances yet-waiting on 3 
Just had a very talented kid. Didn’t know about coaches and non audition safeties, CC, etc.
@fancytheatrekid fingers crossed for you!
@fancytheatrekid - neither did I. I was in your shoes 4 years ago, waiting for the last one: Molloy/CAP21. April 8, 2014 was the day the clouds finally parted. I hope the same awaits you!
Hopefully some encouragement for parents who have boys on waitlists… We are doing our part to get the dominos falling. We have recently sent declines to the following schools: Montclair, Pace, Rider, Ohio Northern, WCU, Oklahoma, and Missouri State. If you have a waitlisted boy at one of those schools, break a leg!
@artskids @EastchesterMom SAME!!
“Texas State? Never heard of it! Must be easy to get in there!”
=))
Not to be a Debbie Downer but just a word on WLs… because you hear of declines does not mean they go to the waitlist. SOME schools accept a certain number to yield a certain class size. Other schools accept the class size they want and will add from the waitlist to create that class size. Like every other thing in their process no hard rules.
We had no safeties until someone on here mentioned them. Didn’t even know what that was…thank goodness someone posted a list that included Drew, UMass, Northeastern and URI. We would have been up sh#$ creek without a paddle!
Great advice, @lojosmo !
Regarding UAB: My D auditioned and was admitted last year and we visited the program. Valerie was amazing and full of energy. Birmingham seemed like a great city and the campus was nice - (I remember an amazing classic rock radio station that I stumbled upon) The program is obviously new and developing, but the kids were enthusiastic and happy with what they were learning and achieving. It seemed like the program was willing to grow with the students and was still in a really nice fluid stage where they were willing to try new things to find what would work best for them. We saw a rehearsal of A Little Night Music while we were there, which they were proud was going to be their first Sondheim production. At this time last year, they were in the process of hiring a new dance instructor that they were really excited about (from somewhere in California I believe?) but it was all still pending and they couldn’t announce who it was yet. Their production schedule was a little light compared to other choices and my D was concerned about the dance options. All in all it was a great visit and seemed like it will develop into a strong program, but my daughter was really looking for a stronger dance program. She ended up at Western Michigan and is loving it this year!
@KaMaMom YES! 10-10 agree with your post earlier. I agree some of these kids…OUR kids have only known theatre. I want my D to be more well rounded. I am encouraging her to do other things this freshman year in college. Want to join the Young Democrats? Yes please…Want to join the Chargg fitness sorority? Yes please. Want to take some out of the box electives…yes! I just realized if she does not change it up a little she will burn out from MT. I was sorta seeing it a bit at the beginning of the year. Just after attending an arts high school. So even though she has barely performed this yr at all, maybe that’s ok. I thought it was bad & she was missing it immensely, but it really was a break she has not had for a very long time. So she totally missed being in shows this year, do not get me wrong. But I am trying to look at it as a break for this year and hopefully she can get back “on the train” a bit next year and this summer.
I also agree that the kids are truly expected to dive right in now, know their major , know their “passion” right after the cap and gown comes off…Lord when I was 18 I was a hot mess. My D is already a hundred steps beyond me at that age. But we need to understand they may, God forbid…LEAVE MT. Yes, lets all say it together…LEAVE MT…LEAVE ACTING…do something else…and that’s ok. I know it seems impossible that your high school senior that just literally closed the high school musical where they played (insert lead role here) would EVER consider leaving performing , but it may happen. It may not, but we really need to let them decide that. I NEVER thought my daughter would ever consider anything else as a major. She hasn’t yet, but she has floated other ideas just in passing. Do I think she will do them? who knows.
I will say the process of Mt admissions is getting worse & worse. So much more competitive then even two yrs ago. My friend’s son is a senior next yr and she is already asking my advice… you know what I want to say? “GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN” lol but I know they wont. He already drank the BFA Kool-Aid . I already sensed that when talking to him. I will continue to encourage him to apply to less competitive places but he may not want to . His is a boy after all so already easier but not easy…
And for @fancytheatrekid & @DramaQueen219 …sending positive thoughts both your way. No advice as I know you have already gotten a lot of that. I am sorry as I know this whole crap process really played a part in making your kid’s senior year thoroughly suck in a lot of ways. My D could very well have been in the same position last year. the only reason she had a few acceptances was because I made her apply to several regional programs that were less competitive & audition less kids and were financially do-able for us. Otherwise she would have just attended a school closer to us for BA Theatre that’s non audition and been done with it. Not that you want to hear it, but look into some programs like that because in the long run the flexibility in those programs is an awesome thing & you can get additional training you feel like you are lacking either in summer training or local dance studios, etc. I mean at the end of the day you can “piece meal” it together and TONS of people in the professional world have done just that. I know your kid DOES NOT want to hear that now. So don’t try to talk them into something quite yet. Enjoy your senior moments the next month or 2! It is so fleeting.