Congrats! My son doesn’t have his interview for Audio Engineering until March. 
What does email say and whom it’s from ?
Any sample email how it looks from and subject ?
My son was rejected for viola performance at Jacobs 
I think he just knew that day after the audition. He seems ok about it, but man I am having a hard time! It’s also our state school so that couple with being considered one of the best programs made it such a great reach for him, but he didn’t make the cut. Not even a waiting list or anything. Not sure how to guide him.
Just a standard email. Nothing fancy at all. Subject line was “Your Admissions Decision - IU Jacobs School of Music” from a music admin address.
It comes from musicadm@indiana.edu and the result is in the email directly. But he saw it was also posted in his Jacobs portal.
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I’m so sorry. That is hard. Does he have other offers that he is excited about? Still waiting on others? This is a tough process. Done this 3 times with 3 kids. The tears and cheers are definitely a roller coaster ride–and the ride continues on beyond college and into the gigging world. One thing I have found with all three of them though is that they are pretty resilient. It’s always more difficult for me…so I get ya.
Good Luck!!!
Thank you for your reply. He seems ok, he’s had some great auditions, at least ones where he has felt great about it afterwards. He’s excited about Michigan and Butler university in Indy. I don’t know why I had worked up in my mind thinking he could be accepted at Jacobs. I have no idea what the bar is like, I guess I thought based on it being a state school and his successes through high school that he was in the ballpark, but I guess he’s not. Now I’m thinking that he likely won’t get into CCM either and who knows about Michigan. Even though the professor stated that he would be recommending him for acceptance, it just all come down to the letter. Sorry guys, I’m having a hard time emotionally, I guess I was all in with this decision and feeling crushed at the moment. I know that realistically though that everything will turn out the way it is meant to turn out.
There is a better yes and better match for him somewhere else - sometimes you do not understand in the moment!
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It’s OK to feel bad. All veteran parents have been there. We’ve all had to suffer. You’re not alone.
It WILL get better. The right fit is yet to come…and you’ll wonder, one day, why you cared so much about IU. Hang in there.
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Son accepted to Music Ed, too!
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@Linda_Anne does he have other schools he likes? I just want to say, as the parent of a kid who went to grad school, that the top grad schools have kids from a lot of different schools and backgrounds. He can do IU for grad ! Keep us posted. This field, I read, brings 10% yeses. It’s tough.
I’m so sorry…as a parent, I know how crushing this feels. Especially when it is so confusing as to how to help your child navigate through disappointment and when you know the work they’ve put in and the desire they have. There are so many more factors that go into a decision other than a wonderful audition: What are the studio needs? What type of personality do I want to add to the studio? What kind of player is he/she and is it the dynamic I currently need for the studio? It’s really the not knowing why that is the worst and you can spiral trying to determine the would’ve, should’ve, could’ves. I always hate when people try to offer some trite little expression or phrase because it diminishes feelings as if they aren’t valid and important. They are hard to avoid, though! But it’s okay to sit with this terrible feeling and experience it, because in time this really will be a powerless memory and your son is clearly passionate and ambitious about his music and he will have a place meant just for him.
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First, big hugs! It is only natural to be emotionally invested in this! I have to believe that just because he wasn’t accepted to Jacobs doesn’t automatically mean he won’t be admitted to the other schools. All the factors are different—who the other students are, who is doing the evaluations, how many students get accepted…so many factors. In the end, though, we have to trust that it will be okay for them.
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On blind faith…
The rejections often come before the acceptances. It can really shake your confidence. Some people are lucky and don’t have to experience this…yet. But if you stay in music long enough, you will experience it…some day. So you need to dig deep and believe.
One of the best things a parent said on this site for me was…when your kid loses faith, you need to believe for them. I have done this. It’s really difficult. It feels impossible, foolish… But, in the end, you need to have blind faith that this process will work.
And, I don’t mean “believe and it will happen”. I simply mean believe that your kid (or you) will meet this challenge. They will find a way. And they will be happy in the end.
So if anyone is wavering, that’s OK. I just hope that you will put all aside that you cannot control and simply have faith that it will work out (bc it will). And show your kid that you believe in them. It will help them. (You can worry alone in your bed if you need too!).
Hang in there. It will be quite the ride for some of you!
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Thank you for your kind reply, that is a good point! I guess the thing I keep coming back to in my mind was how he seemed to feel after his audition, it was like he knew it wasn’t the right place for him. Maybe he completely messed up and didn’t tell me. That was the audition I was asking about last weekend, it’s the only audition in which he was stopped partway through his second piece. He didn’t have a good feeling, I didn’t have a good feeling after. He’s definitely gotten amazing vibes at a few of the other auditions. He has been accepted to Mead Witter, waiting on the financials, verbal recommendation from Michigan, Butler, and Ball State, but we need to wait for the officials and the financials on those. He’s also been accepted to Purdue for pre-pharmacy with academic merit. They have an orchestra, but no performance major. Ultimately I want him happy and to love what he chooses to pursue. I know the music route is demanding, and don’t tell him if you ever meet him, lol, but I’m wondering if him not being accepted to a top school is an indication that he should explore other things. I just don’t know, I’m thinking out loud, and I PROMISE this is all me, he seems fine.
Thank you so much for this reply, that is all exactly how I’m feeling. It’s all going to shake out the way it’s meant to, I just know it.
Lol, that is exactly what I am doing! I am alone in my bedroom watching jeopardy so I can mope without him seeing it. I do believe in him that whatever decision he ends up making will be the right one for that point in time. Sincere thanks to ALL who have commented on my post earlier. You’re all the ones who get it, and I am appreciative to have an online tribe!
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“…,him not being accepted to a top school is an indication that he should explore other things.”
I disagree. He seems to love this, that’s the main reason to do it. Even if he were a generational talent, but didn’t like it…. That’s not a reason. And one school doesn’t decide that anyways. And a generational talent still needs to work every day. His love for his instrument and music will be how he connects others to what he does, it means so much more. It’s the failures now that test our kids…. And the performing arts are not for the faint of heart. If they can handle these battle wounds, they are in the right place.
Hugs and luck for the next one!
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And THAT’S the thing. This is what makes him happy. I never see him more alive than when he is playing- whether it’s performing or practicing or teaching others.