We have been dealing with a similar situation. My DD decided to major in music junior year, so maybe a little late. She took lessons at a few of the top dream schools, great faculty and student interactions, raised high expectations for my kid, who would finally be surrounded by people who love music as much as she does. Then we got an outside consultant to give us a musical assessment and a Reach/Target/Safety list. It was a very bitter pill to swallow especially after going to all these amazing schools for tours and lessons. The top schools were just not realistic. We are currently waiting on a few more top choices, but not optimistic. Luckily we do have some good targets, but I’m not going to lie, they are not as shiny. What I tell my kid is, it is not where you go, it is what you do there. All of these places offer so much more than high school, you can grow so much at all of them, and then there is always grad school if that is what you want. Where you start does not limit where you end up. And in spite of a lot of rejections and waitlists she still wants to make music her life, I think wanting it enough is a big part of making it work, no matter where you end up going to school. There are many paths to success. All that to say, I really empathize with you and your son, it is really rough.
A gap year is a possibility? I am always surprised more music kids don’t do this.
I feel that my son’s private lessons teacher was very tough on him and said no Eastman, no Bard, no, no, no. So we decided together as a family he would apply to music schools within large universities so that he would have more options if things did not work out for him. He has gotten into: Bard (BA not conservatory), SUNY Potsdam Crane, SUNY Fredonia, U Maryland, U Delaware and Ithaca all as BM Major except Bard as noted. He will minor in business and see how it goes. His music scholarship from U Delaware was exceptional and the others were decent. He also got nice merit scholarships. The instrument professors have been terrific, he has it down to three: Ithaca, U DEL and U MD. He will probably end up at U DEL because of the $$$$. Don’t give up!
My D23 is at Bard Conservatory (Voice). She knows of BA voice students at Bard who later auditioned for the Conservatory and were admitted. I do not know whether this is true for every instrument, but, if you son is interested in Bard, it might be worth a call to the conservatory admissions office to ask that question.
First of all, I’m very sorry for this situation. It is a very difficulty time.
Second…it is his first truly difficult time in building a “career”. Unfortunately in music it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. Grad schools openings are fewer than UG. Professional opportunities reduce more (meaning full-time union work). That doesn’t sound very encouraging but it is real. You should share that with your son. He’s not the ONLY one to have a tough time in music (it’s just many don’t post about it).
My fallback was (and still is): I have faith that you will find your way and be happy. I can’t tell you if that will be in music for a short time, a medium time or a long time…or no time. But your hard work and dedication will carry you forward in any career. It wasn’t for “nothing”.
My D works professionally with people with masters, bachelors in music and in other disciplines…and no degree. She works with people from big name schools…and many from local, no name schools. It does make me wonder how important school name really is outside of the BIG full-time symphonies, orchestras or opera companies. At her age (30s), school name no longer matters…it’s what gigs you got (or were willing to take…when others passed on them!) that can make a difference. Note that this is not for top symphonies and orchestras etc. This is for interesting work with a group of artists at smaller companies. In many of these cases, people work other jobs…and perform too. My D teaches voice…but other are real estate agents, yoga instructors, insurance agents etc. This is very common in the industry.
So he can carry on…if he really wants to…by looking for opportunities at any college to play with like-minded friends. Scratching around for gigs. One gig can lead to another gig. He can use a private teacher too…and just see where he goes. He can simply decide to try a bit in college and see what happens from there.
In a music career, you will most likely eat some humble pie at some point. If this is the point for him, so be it. He can continue in his own way. When kids really have the drive, they find a way (or move on which is fine). Have faith in him to meet the moment…and see what his does with it.
Or, maybe he’ll get that elusive acceptance. Still, over the next few days, a reality check with him about the industry and its many heartbreaks…and what it takes to overcome them…isn’t a bad thing. Fingers crossed for you and your son.
I finally signed up for an account just to reply because this hurts my mom heart so much. May musician is a freshman so I’m not there yet but… I have a friend who is now a provost. She was a dance major and I danced all through school with her but I didn’t major in it. She applied for grad school in dance 5 years in a row. Then she graduated, got a university job, and has worked her way up. She has faced so many rejections. But she is resilient. And that’s what it takes above anything else. I would encourage your son to keep at it. Maybe a gap year, but I would encourage him that work isn’t for nothing and if this is his path he will find a way.
I’m so sorry to hear this and so sorry their teacher led them down that path without considering more safety schools. As others have mentioned the music world is so subjective and can be a hard place to be. But doesn’t mean it’s the end for your child. A couple of suggestions, reach out to safety-mid level schools and see if they have any late audition openings, some schools may not have filled all of their available spots. Other considerations is your child takes a year to do a community college to knock off some humanities/Gen Ed type of courses while also taking lessons (maybe with a new teacher) and look at schools that either do transfers for Spring or plan for the following Fall auditions. Your child would potentially have extended time to really focus on areas to improve to take them to the next level. This may have just been an overly competitive year for their instrument and next year could be lighter. My brass player is already planning to take additional time going into Grad school because his year is extremely competitive but not so much for the year behind him at his school. Wishing you and your child the best through this process and know that they will find their path, it may just be a bit winding.
I’d echo what Bridgenail says…if this is indeed the thing that makes your kid say, “I don’t think this is for me after all,” then that’s truly okay! Better to realize that now than later. I think your job right now is to support him through this while he figures out if it’s a disappointing temporary setback or a wake-up call that music isn’t the right career path (which isn’t/doesn’t have to be the same as giving up music. It’s HARD to have the thing you love the most also be what you try to make a living at. There are lots of other ways to keep music as a big part of your life). Also echoing that the time spent on his instrument wasn’t wasted either way; that kind of discipline and work ethic will serve him well no matter what he does in the future.
If he does want to keep going and doesn’t end up with an acceptance that he’s happy with, then it’s time for a post mortem and a plan for moving forward. Was he given unrealistic advice about what schools to shoot for? Would a gap year to focus on lessons and gearing up for another round of auditions be helpful? Was he just unlucky and there weren’t enough openings on his instrument this year? And the big name conservatories aren’t the only places where he can grow as a musician. My music kid ended up at Blair after getting off the waitlist there, but if that hadn’t happened he’d have gone to a state school with no national reputation but with a prof for his instrument whom he really loved and still feels wistful about not getting to study with (although he had a great experience at Blair).
@greendonkey Wanted to add another thing……if your child really does want to stay in music there is NOTHING wrong with taking a gap year and working hard over the next year with professors wherever you can to become more audition-ready. I think others have made some GREAT suggestions, but wanted to throw this out as another possibility. One of my son’s good friends actually entertained that idea last year because he wasn’t getting beyond prescreens for awhile and then all of a sudden things just magically worked out. But the gap year was really an option on the table for him and that’s not a bad option as long as his time is used wisely of course.
@greendonkey adding my sincere empathy as a non music parent with a music kid.
I wonder about the idea of being a “walk on,” sort of like one might with sports at a school where they commit to the school and work their way into music after the fact? I don’t know if that’s a thing, but if he kept up with lessons and practice as maybe a music BA (or undecided major), maybe he could audition later and work his way into a BM program?
Otherwise, schools like St. Olaf also come to mind, where over half of the student body plays music in ensembles (some are BM, some are BA, some are other majors entirely). It is a culture of music that is really positive and kind. Also possibly U Denver, where they have the BM degree. We know someone who was transferring there for spring. They seem friendly to transfers, and other schools would be as well.
Depending on how tied he is to the BM degree, there are some schools that really really like musicians, that don’t have the BM but have high-level music going on: Williams, Amherst, Wesleyan, Middlebury, and others, that have an arts supplement as part of their applications.
Lastly, I’ll add that we know of kids who are transferring out of top programs because it’s not their jam once there. Please give yourself grace to have a meandering path vs. a straight line. This is a work in progress for everyone, no matter how certain or successful they may seem.
anyone know what time nec and juilliard might come out? ive heard they both are going to release today.
We thought that would be a good approach as well, just to have options.
Seconding this!!! Anyone have some info?
I’m not sure, but I really hope it comes out soon. I’m so sick of waiting lol 
Peabody just released!
Son got in but not enough money to compete against the offers from UM Frost and Berklee. Now we are down to waiting on MSM.
Peabody is out!! My VP daughter is in with a very good scholarship. So proud!
Congrats on Peabody!
No, not a thing. DD is burning up the internet refreshing her email. So if it’s slow today, she’s the culprit! 
This is for those of you struggling with the denials, especially when it is a lot of them and not what you expected.
I once wrote an article for my kids’ scholarship program called something like No, You are Not Musically Behind, where I tell some of the stories about how my kids got to where they are. I have one kid at Curtis (the other is in HS still) and everybody thinks he must have been a prodigy. But he wasn’t. He struggled for years because we were unable to get him instruction due to complex family circumstances. We were able to get him what he needed eventually, and not only did he catch up, but he soared above and beyond.
Lessons to be learned:
Everybody grows at their own pace, and this is not always in the student’s control.
There is no timeline on a music career.
If you are getting denials now, it is not the end. It is simply an indication that either you need a little more time, or you got bad advice (it happens ALL THE TIME) about what the right level of schools are.
Gap years are a great option that frankly should be used more than they are. Just make sure you have a structured plan for the year.
Another option is to start at a lower level school, work your butt off, and then either transfer or do graduate work at a higher level school.
Getting a lot of denials is going to be painful no matter what for everybody. It will take time to separate out that pain from overall ongoing dedication to the instrument.
Anyway, hang in there!! Both parents and kids. The denials can feel just as painful to the parent – sometimes even more, because if you are like me, you blame yourself and think you failed your child.
Wondering the same here!