Thanks. Great thoughts. Thank you for sharing. This is a good way to look at it and think of things. It’s tough not to challenge the guidance and help we had, and question that we’ve just screwed up along the way. Especially sacrificing school classes, holidays, family time, and everything else. I absolutely feel like we failed him, and we listened to advice from people who have failed him.
It sounds like he went to auditions that required passing a prescreen; so he must have been close / not totally off base. My son’s teacher who also reviews the prescreens for a popular university’s music program said he passes through kids that are technically in the ballpark and he’s “interested to hear more”. I don’t know which instrument your son plays but maybe each program had very limited spaces. I feel for both of you; the heartbreak is real and being married to an orchestral musician that took over 50 auditions before getting his first orchestra job (that barely paid a living wage) this industry is a series of “no thank yous” but eventually, if they don’t give up, a yes comes through that matters.
Affordability is such a huge issue after a year of prescreens and auditions and can lead to disappointments. My kid is mid-30’s now and while they got into top conservatories, we could not afford them even with $17k merit, so they went to a top college that was essentially free. That choice was purely financial. (Their father had had a stroke.)
Over the years, they went on to a doctorate where they could finally focus on music, then teaching undergrads, and working in academic administration. We felt it wise to have at least a couple of BA options, but I realize many kids here want the full immersion of a BM.
Reading all these posts about cost, mostly about conservatories, I am wondering what the career goals are for most and how that plays into how much families are willing to spend.
Did your child apply for non BM schools and have acceptances? My S is at a highly ranked LAC that loves musicians and honestly he is having a better music experience than he probably would have at a BM program. He is one of the exceptional musicians and has tons of performing opportunities (including those that are paid) and personalized lessons. His level has only improved over the past two years and we all think he could apply for MM programs if he was interested. As everyone else has said there are so many ways to get to the end result of music, good luck to you and your child.
This is exactly what happened to my Jazz guitar daughter. Accepted three days after the audition and then silence. Hoping for music scholarship to make it more in the ballpark. She is going to email music admissions on April 1 to ask when is the last day she would hear if she was going to hear about music scholarship. She is out of state. So we would need to bring cost down. She did get merit for her grades back in November.