I am pretty much photo shoot ready most of the time. But, by that, I mean more about tidy than clean. We are very minimalist in terms of decor. I just don’t like a bunch of, “stuff.” Ds has said our home is, “sterile.” Our kitchen is very small, so anything not put away makes a big difference in appearance. Plus our townhome is open concept. I try to reset the kitchen and living area each night. Everything put away, pillows karate chopped, etc. I do not leave dishes in the sink.
I absolutely hate to clean, but I do it weekly. Even rooms we don’t use. I hate these LVP floors we have because I feel they are never clean. I had tile floors in Florida and could use a steam mop which I miss terribly. Counters get wiped down every day, but I don’t vacuum every day. All our bedrooms are upstairs, and I can clean everything downstairs in about an hour and a half. So, if I wanted to have people over that would be the time commitment for me to feel, “ready.”
We don’t have people pop in unannounced. My fil did that all the time early in our marriage. Would bring his parents over and come into our home when we weren’t there (he had a key!). To fix a dripping faucet. To visit our dog. While I was working 65-70 hours a week during tax season!! You can imagine the state of our house. I hate the pop-in, probably because of that. I finally had to have a crying/yelling FIT to get him to stop. Anyway, with cell phones and texting, I can’t imagine that ever happening now. We don’t do that to others either. We could and have made a last minute decision to invite people over after having been out to dinner with them. But, I know the state of my house before I do that. If someone texted they wanted to stop by, I could be pretty set in ten minutes.
My tip is to have a, “scoop and dump,” space. Mine is a drawer in my kitchen. While I am tidy, there is usually some mail, a paper grocery or to-do list, an iPad, readers, a cup, and some charging cords about. If someone were to say they were stopping by, I can scoop and dump those items (well, not the cup - it would go into the dishwasher) into that drawer. Do that and swish and swipe the half bath and wipe down the kitchen counters.
We are getting ready to demo and renovate our master bath (after the holidays) so I spent a few hours the other day emptying out the old vanity drawers. At least two of the drawers were the “scoop and dump” places from when our counters were cluttered with three young kids’ treasures and I needed to get ready for the monthly cleaning crew.
It was a hilarious 25 year old time capsule: baby hair bows, the refrigerator magnet letter G, doll clothes, hot wheels cars, the missing piece from a wooden puzzle, on and on and on.
In general, I dislike clutter. My husband dislikes items “hidden” (meaning put away where they belong). We make it work. He has his own office and workshop where he can spread out. The house is relatively tidy but I try to reign in my tendency for wanting perfection.
I love my roomba for daily cleaning, not quite as powerful as a regular vacuum, but since it’s daily, it keeps floors pretty clean. When I had 5 little ones and a dog it was really helpful.
I am definitely more clutter averse and yes a little obsessive about it - but as said before, “clean” is relative - you can find plenty of dog hair and dusty baseboards and under bed dust bunnies at any time.
Like @sabaray when we moved a year ago we got rid of A LOT of stuff. H is definitely more of a stuff collector than me. After years of his stuff in lots of places in our house which truly was a mental struggle for me, at this house he has 90% rein of the large basement for whatever he wants. But no sneaking stuff into extra bedroom closets, etc - if it doesn’t fit in the basement or garage there is no room for it! So with that house move, I work very hard to keep minimal things out, minimal clutter. I’ve shared more with him - or maybe it has just sunk in - that a clutter free home and a pretty home means SO much to me. I get extreme pleasure from a nice (not perfect) looking home. It is my splurge area of life. I don’t buy expensive clothes, make up, travel minimally, I have never hired a cleaning person, I have always done it myself even while working full time - but give me a pleasing home!
And re: drop in visits. Over the years this has been a beef of H and I. He thinks nothing of inviting a neighbor, a buddy that drives by -even nearly strangers to “come on in and see…whatever” - many an argument over this habit for many reasons!!!
Stuff people sometimes need some limitations! Sometimes I have to resist a bit too when he takes 5 days to “pay the bills” and the dining room table has the papers to prove it.
Recently I asked for a tall large metal shelf in the garage for all my gardening stuff - pots, plant food, patio cushions, hanging baskets, etc. H decided we had room for 2 of the metal shelves so we put them together and they stand side by side. I am adamant that his stuff does not get on my gardening shelf! He has his shelf for extra stuff - when it gets full it’s time to rethink the extras - but leave my shelf alone!
I hate cleaning and I have yet to train myself to keep up with the clutter. Years ago my mother gave me a cleaning service for a year and I kept up with it. My cleaning woman ghosted me six months ago and I haven’t found a replacement. She wasn’t that great anyway, but I did at least pick up before she came. We have a roomba which makes the rounds once a week. We wash dishes and wipe counters in the kitchen dining area every day. But if someone is coming over I always have to clear off the coffee table which usually has newspaper I haven’t read yet a few library books, partly done crosswords, a few remotes etc.
I used to feel obliged to keep our home sparkling clean and clutter free, except for a couple of closets and drawers that were repositories for numerous random things. We also used to frequently entertain H’s business associates. I felt compelled to have the house be pristine clean as well as to prepare an entirely homemade meal or buffet. I’m glad those days are over.
The buyers of our previous house wanted nearly all of the furniture, which was for the best. It wouldn’t have survived the GDs, or their parents, or aunt and uncle, and I would not have dealt with that well.
Our current home has lots of color, high contrast (for vision issues), and more durable furniture. It could be described as a MCM Crayola box school library plus daycare. These days we regularly clean the most used areas of the house. The rest gets attention once in a while.
I became so laid back about cleaning that H began vacuuming and mopping in addition to cleaning bathrooms and doing dishes. Funny how that worked out.
I once read somewhere that you should always keep your vacuum cleaner out. If you’re the type to vacuum every day it’s right there. If someone drops by unannounced and your house is slightly untidy/not company worthy (however YOU define that) you say Sorry for the mess I was just about to vacuum!
The dining room bills! I’ve always paid our bills, pluck them out of the mail to put in the bill spot. H is now in charge of his mom’s bills. I don’t know why, but he needs to spread them all over the dining room table, for up to a week. I’m guessing some are late (he’s in finance, I stink at math, very soon into marriage it was apparent that I needed to be in charge of bills).
I can so relate to this! H has two desks of his own - one massive antique oak roll top one in he basement that he insisted bringing to this house but that is not used for a “desk” - but nope! We spread out on the dining room table!
My less worried about a clean house D sent me a screen shot of a meme she saw somewhere. It said “What they say: 'Sorry for the mess!” What you see: (a photo of a perfect, immaculate living room)" She said “This is YOU, Mom, lol.”
Even though my house is usually drop-in ready, I would NOT be okay with someone doing that, especially on a regular basis. Boundaries are even more important to me than cleanliness!
I am a healthcare professional and I see patients in their homes. I see them right after they have been discharged from the hospital so their homes may or may not be in the usual state.
The patients/families who apologize for “the mess” usually have homes that look like they could be featured in Sunset magazine and perhaps the breakfast dishes were left on the counter.
Then I go to homes that are so cluttered there is barely a path to the bathroom and I have to move piles from a chair to sit down. Or I politely opt to not sit or touch anything. These families seemingly do not worry about clutter or cleanliness. Or at least don’t mention it.
I never judge and just let them know I am happy to be able to see them.
I noticed that the organizer put out an email yesterday to play in January. And asked for volunteers to host in the upcoming months.
I’ve also noticed that the people who volunteer to host are the “older” members. The younger ones, do not even though most of them are now empty nesters themselves.
The other issue is that people will say they are coming and cancel at the last minute. It’s very hard to find more people on the day you are hosting. One of my friends said she won’t host anymore because of all the last minute cancellations.
It feels as if people younger than myself don’t host and don’t have the same commitments to showing up. I know that’s a broad generalization but it’s been my experience.
I do feel that my older friends are more comfortable entertaining than my younger friends. That entertaining in your home is one of those things that doesn’t happen like it used to.
I think that my mom’s impossible for me standards are what keeps me from entertaining. I don’t want to blame her and my mom has tons of what I now know are anxieties. But unless everything is perfect, it shouldn’t be done.
Maybe three. And most likely whatever goes in will remain there forever or later tossed. Trick is finding the dumping ground for your bags.
I’m a “clean enough” person. Friends get me as I am.
If there are many people I clear as many surfaces of stuff and “debris” and “disappear” all the eye clutter. I stuff it in bags to be sorted later. My real day to day work spaces are cleared for party space. Clean bathrooms.
Main thing is stock the refrigerator and have plenty of ice on hand. Hasn’t failed yet.
We have a first floor laundry room which doubles as the “hide it” zone when we entertain. Any kind of clutter just gets moved there. This includes stuff that normally resides on tables that will be used for serving.
So my house looks very neat when people come by- just don’t look in the laundry room.
My unfinished basement has tons of clutter (including lots of boxes, getting good use this week for holiday shipping). In December, the downstairs den/guestroom gets a bunch of crap. But as empty nesters, we do have an upstairs guest room though it rarely gets used.
