Thought I’d start a thread as a shoot off of a topic in the “older” thread.
What is your comfort level when you’re having people over? It is different for the next door neighbor than friends you see less frequently? Different for local family as opposed to out-of-towners?
To what extent do you “prepare” the house if at all before you “entertain” - whether you’re a fancy entertainer or casual? (Maybe fancy people need a different thread…. )
Let’s say you’re having two couples you’ve known forever or 4 friends you play cards/pickleball/golf with. Do you CLEAN? Do you declutter and but don’t really clean? Are you a picture perfect person or is your style more relaxed and you can be ready for guests at any time?
Have any simple “get ready for someone to stop by” tips???
I am definitely more clutter free than clean as a whistle. You do not find me cleaning my baseboards weekly and an entire army of dust bunnies lives under my bed. My tip is to take an empty laundry basket (2 if you need it!) and walk from room to room that people will be spending time in and dump things in the basket. Plop basket in the basement or a closet and when everyone leaves, the basket comes back out and you can put things back where they were - or put them where they actually are stored!
We are in the fairly orderly piles group, not clean as a whistle. It depends on who is coming and how sensitive they are to dust (our kids are highly sensitive and require more cleaning and washing in very hot water than more casual guests, plus our kids will stay several nights to weeks).
We are comfortable with the neatish piles and just try harder when we know there will be inquisitive young children visiting (making sure to put things that could endanger them out of their reach). We have never been into “house beautiful,” but for some reason, S is and has a home that is pretty close to always ready for guests.
I’m going to add in, in my mind I’m talking about having people over for a couple hours.
Overnight is a whole other ballgame that involves preparing bedrooms, extra bathrooms, etc.
Editing to also say let’s watch that we don’t show judgement either way - there is no right way, just your way. Polly perfect is fine if it works for you. Cathy Clutter is fine too if it’s your vibe! Tell us your vibe!
It depends. If my neighbors are coming by, I definitely have the place tidy and neat…and clean. If someone drops on, they get what they get.
For overnight guests, very organized. And since we seldom have more than one overnight guest (or a couple), they get their own bathroom. Neat and clean.
But for myself…and especially right now because I’m in the middle of this cookie baking extravaganza…stuff is out that I need!
I like things picked up and try to keep it that way, but H has other ideas. He will pick up his stuff is someone is coming over. If someone is expected, I wipe down the kitchen and run the vacuum on the floors. No need to be spotless for me.
I honestly don’t notice if someone else’s house is clean.
Same - I don’t think I’m really thinking about clean/clutter at someone else’s house unless they have to do a big swipe of stacks of things off the kitchen table for us to sit down with a cup of tea!
I try hard to keep our house clean, but sometimes it gets cluttered - my H is wonderful, but he has to have his stuff out & around him. No matter how hard I try to corral his stuff, it seems to creep back out. So if a neighbor stops by, they see his stuff (cat treats, laptop, whatever he is reading through at that time, mail, stuff he doesn’t want to toss, etc). Our laundry room, which is narrow & the entrance from the garage, is cluttered with H’s stuff and our shoes. Most people don’t come in that way, and there is a door that we close so we can’t see it from the hallway - so it is what it is.
If I know someone is stopping over for a visit, I make sure the house is vacuumed, the bathrooms are clean, surfaces aren’t dusty, and the kitchen counters/sink are clean.
Right now, nobody would be welcome at my house. H insists on a real tree, which he brought into the family room this afternoon. He is currently wrapping tons of lights around it. The carpet is covered with needles, which have also been tracked into the kitchen. There are coiled up strings of lights laying around. There’s stuff laying around. It’s unsettling for me, but after 41 years of marriage, it’s just the way it is.
Oh, and when real visitors come over, I remove the covers that protect my living room furniture from cats who would scratch the heck out of it. Neighbors and family are used to it as is, and I make no apologies.
Our house sometimes get cluttered. And it’s not as clean as in the time when had bimonthly cleaners. I’ll still have folks over but do prefer a heads up. Once in a while the Friday beer gang will come over to our house for pizza spur of the moment, but I prefer it if we plan ahead.
My view is that one should have friends over even if the house is not pristine. I understand not everybody feels comfortable doing that. These days we mostly socialize at bars and restaurants. Not of lot of dinner party / reciprocate kind of things.
I’m chuckling at the comments of people dropping by. Just this afternoon I was taking a short break after H and I put up some outdoor lights when H says “we’ve got company!” - music to my ears- NOT. I admit to having a bit of panic when someone stops by unannounced but it’s silly cause nothing is really that bad!
Overnight guests or kids coming home from college I clean. The first one is expected back on Saturday so I’m waiting (one kid lives here and is a slob so I don’t worry about him). My kids have friends over a lot, for a bigger group I faux clean (Lysol wipes, roomba, stiffer wetjet unless there are many, then I don’t bother, countertops, empty dish rack…). My parent’s house was 100% ready for a photo shoot at any time, but it wasn’t to impress others, they were both a bit ocd. I hate dishes in the sink and stuff being out (put away the onions yesterday that I brought out for H and put them away before he used them), but I could use a little ocd. H would be on an episode of hoarders without me with some of our kids, fortunately not all of them.
Both of my parents have always had a level of cleanliness and tidiness that could also be described as “photo shoot ready at all times.” Recently we were staying with them at Thanksgiving, and as usual the kitchen is cleaned to a high shine after every meal and snack. That’s fine! It’s their house, and I keep it the way they like it when I’m there.
But there was a night where there was a pan that required an overnight soak, and…I knew this would be a problem. The entire kitchen was spotless, the range gleamed, the sink itself was cleaned before this pan went in to soak. It’s 10pm, and I told my folks: “this is all baked on, and so I’m soaking the pan overnight and it will be easy to clean in the morning.”
They looked at me, and I thought that they could maybe roll with it. But my Dad just couldn’t; even though it was after his bed time, 20 minutes later he was fighting that pan with a scrub brush. I told him I was getting up to wash the pan before making the coffee, and it just needed to soak, but…no. He spent 15 minutes scrubbing that pan, because he couldn’t leave one pan in the sink overnight. This is just who they are.
I am not naturally a tidy person (I wish I were) and it took me decades to not feel absolute pit-in-my-stomach dread if someone saw my house without it being “photo shoot ready.” Which meant I had that feeling fairly constantly as my house was not at that standard! It took several years of walking into other people’s homes who also had young children (and seeing their homes look like young children live there), for me to gradually feel ok with having someone come inside our day to day environment.
I live about 4 hours from my folks in a small house, and my sibling lives a plane flight away, and so we always get together at their large home with many bedrooms as it makes no practical sense for any of them to come here. And so my parents haven’t been to my house in close to 10 years, shortly after I moved in. And honestly, it’s a good thing, because they would not be able to handle how it is not perfectly clean and perfectly tidy. It is a best for all of us
I’m more of a “clean as a whistle person,” but it’s not to impress guests, it’s how I like it. And I have a housecleaning duo who comes every other week to help me with it. During the interim, I keep the house picked up and the kitchen in particular very clean. But my house is on the modern side and seems to just show dirt or clutter more than my former very traditional country French style home.
One of my daughters keeps her house pretty immaculate, and the other daughter laughs at our cleanliness tendencies. That daughter works brutal hours at her job, so her house and tolerance of clutter and mess are quite high. But I don’t blanche at the thought of leaving one pan to soak overnight if it is truly necessary.
Considering I was a slob as a teen, my evolution is quite amusing to my siblings.
I once went on vacation with my parents and my mom’s sisters. We all rented separate but connected condos. My mom was freaking out because our condo was messy. I mean a full blown tantrum. Because there was some clutter and the sisters might come over and might think she was messy! One of my aunts got up every morning and ran the sweeper! We were on vacation. They went other years but we only did the one. I love my parents, I was not doing that on vacation!
So I’m convinced my house is filthy and that I will be judged for my housekeeping skills. I’d like to redecorate also since I’m not very confident in my decorating skills either. I don’t actually like to decorate, my house needs some remodeling but I’ve had other priorities. You can’t do it all.
I’m trying to work on the insecurity. I’m trying not to have a full blown breakdown if I have to entertain.
Don’t be me. I’m working on it.
My house, it’s not that bad. But the utility room has stuff piled on the counters. The bird food, now it will be the place our skis are waxed. It’s where clutter goes. Since the weather is snowy, the floors are impossible to keep clean, and I don’t wash my floors every day. I see cobwebs occasionally. Usually when there are people over.
There’s not a ton of clutter, the bathrooms are clean, the floors are swept.
My husband is not picky and I’m just fine with that. One of my kids is married to someone who is very particular in that the house must be clean. I feel it’s very stressful for my kid to try and keep the house perfect.
I live alone in a studio+ like many of my friends. I do not have room to entertain. I meet friends at their homes or in a restaurant so I actually don’t have to clean or declutter for company: I don’t have company. Of course I keep my place clean and neat for myself!
I like everything in its place but am not a clean freak. I vacuum and do bathrooms weekly, and do a big clean once/month. I’ll move around the big clean depending on overnight guests (we have a lot ). As such, I’m generally feeling like the house is good enough if someone dropped by unexpectedly. Although I can’t think of the last time that actually happened!
It is rare that we have anyone just stop by. If I know people are coming I definitely make the effort to tidy up and clean. I don’t want things to get out of hand at our new home, so both H and I are more conscientious about keeping things tidy. A place for everything and everything in its place. He’s been really good about vacuuming and cleaning the windows! It is easier now as we’ve really cut down on “stuff”. It is a relief not to be dealing with so much.
A bit off topic, but it was mentioned above so - I felt really insecure about my decorating skills when we were redoing the house.I spent a lot of time on pinterest, looking for the “mood” I wanted. Once I found what I liked, I went to Etsy and ordered what I call “mood boards” that suggested colors that went together. I am really happy with what we ended up doing. If you like it, that’s all that matters.
Confession: I vacuumed my house every day for years. I also cleaned all three bathrooms every day. I was a SAHM, and I guess I just considered it part of that job. When I returned to work full time, I vacuumed less, but always at least once a week. Now I vacuum at least every other day. My family calls it riding my broom. I am considering upgrading my vacuum because pushing a heavy upright is getting harder … I actually would welcome a vacuum as a Christmas present. Weird, I know!
I definitely have a problem with messes/clutter/piles of stuff and probably need a cleanaholic support group. I have gotten better about constantly putting everything in place.
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