Cliche Essay Introduction?

Prep School Admissions
1

How important is it to avoid using a “cliche” essay introduction?

I’m applying for the Caroline Bradley Scholarship, which is a competitive scholarship offering to pay for all four years of a high school student’s private school education. You need to submit at least two essays in order to be considered. I’m thinking about writing one of my essays on my love of Monopoly, and how it has changed my perspective on myself and my abilities.

After coming up with several possible introductions for my essay, I decided to start my essay with a dictionary opening (Webster’s Dictionary defines ’ ___’ as…). I was going to turn a basic dictionary entry of a word (undecided) into how my experiences as a struggling Monopoly shaped my perspective on what the word truly meant to me, and how it therefore shaped my character.

A few days later, I was browsing through an article on cliche college essays when I saw what I thought to be my great intro on the list. After a quick Google search, I found out that there were quite a few articles warning against using a dictionary opening as an introduction to a admissions essay of any sort.

I really think I could make this intro work, but if it’s going to impact my overall essay, then I’m not going to take any chances.

What do you guys think? Should I choose a new introduction, or can I stick with what I have?

2

I’m no writing expert, but from the dim recollection I have of good advice from writing teachers, and from reading a lot, I think your best course of action might actually be to write the whole essay, leaving the first sentence TBD, and then go back and craft the first sentence as almost a synopsis of your conclusion. I also enjoy board games and I see how my two kids approach them so differently. One is more of a strategic thinker and intense and the thumping of the piece as it goes around the board is notable. Good luck!

3

It sounds as if you haven’t turned it in.
(If you have don’t worry — if the essay is truly great you’ll be forgiven.)
But assuming you are asking during editing:
It won’t kill anything but the first sentence is a real opportunity to make them super excited and interested. It could be a summary as suggested but worded in a way that is surprising. Surprising but not weird. Surprising but also natural and not forced.
I’m a writer for a living so happy to give a look over if you want to DM me. No pressure and no skin in the game over here — DD done with application cycle. (Phew!)