<p>Hey, I’m starting to think about options as to where to live and with whom next school year. </p>
<p>An interesting option came up where 2 girls asked me to live with them next semester off-campus. I thought it was a joke at first but they keep asking me about that. As a parent, how do I assess whether it would even be a good decision to live with someone of the opposite sex? My gut instinct says no because of all the weird scenarios that could possibly come up but it would be nice to hear feedback from the wiser people on this forum! (Maybe some stories as well)</p>
<p>My D had a male roommate in a 250 sq ft loft in Brooklyn for over a year. They shared a bathroom & kitchen, and each bought a bunk bed which they placed on opposite walls from one another. She turned her “downstairs” into her desk and dresser area, he put a loveseat and dresser. They got along better than she ever did with the females she roomed with. After the first year, they moved into a bigger space in the same building (650 sq ft) and added 2 more roommates. Another guy, and another girl. No one ‘hooked up’ or anything else. Each was very respectful. That arrangement lasted a year. Then they all moved and she got 3 new roommates…2 female, one male. Again, all is going very well. She likes the male energy and says it’s nice to know there’s a guy in the house. </p>
<p>If you’re all mature and aren’t looking for something other than sharing space and rent (and are all respectful of the space, cleaning up after yourselves, etc.) I don’t think there’s a problem with it.</p>
<p>just reread my post and to clarify, I’m not a parent (should’ve said “from a parents point of view”).</p>
<p>I guess my concerns is that this would be new territory for me. I’m respectful of everyone and I get along with nearly everyone. I’m a neat freak and the living arrangement would mean I get my own private bedroom and bathroom. I’ve just never really lived with anyone of the opposite sex for an extended period of time. I don’t have a sister so I don’t know what to expect. Also may be awkward to tell other people that I’m living with 2 other girls.</p>
<p>My very conservative niece had a male room mate (her BF) and female room mate. The three of them got along very well, even tho niece & BF were dating. My BF in grad school had a male room mate but his GF was over so much, she might as well have been a room mate. The three got along great & even made my BF the godfather of their S. There doesn’t have to be any romance–just happened in those instances there was. Have heard of others who have had mixed genders. If everyone is comfortable & has common expectations, it can work well.</p>
<p>Guys would probably initially be jealous of you for living with 2 girls. In general, I think girls are SUPPOSED to be neater than boys (my kids have it backwards). I think mixed gender living is more common in college than you realize–just not talked about that much and often NOT romantic at all.</p>
<p>DS (26) only child, began living in this shared housing since 24. He’s always had roommates in college and internships. I don’t think he could ever “live” by himself because he is such a social creature. </p>
<p>Current makeup is 6 +/- 1. Five gals + 1 guy; 6 chickens +/- 2, 4 rabbits +/- 10; Occupants vary as they move on or get eaten. House has 6 bedrooms. 2 baths, 1 kitchen. ages 22-31. Either grad student or working.</p>
<p>We think that the 3 roommates that have been together the longest, act more like close siblings. All have their own activities, BF, (DS is not gay, just doesn’t have a GF),(one gal is gay), They do things together quite often, many casual house parties, annual whitewater, the birthday parties.</p>
<p>My daughter shared a three-bedroom apartment with two other students – one female and one male – for her last two years of college. It worked out fine. Several of her friends lived in an apartment that included four guys and one girl. That worked out fine, too. In the college community where she lived, such arrangements were completely routine. </p>
<p>As long as the people know each other and are comfortable with the living arrangement, I see nothing wrong with any mix of genders in off-campus housing. </p>
<p>However, you do not seem comfortable with the situation, and that’s important. What bothers you about it?</p>
<p>Parent here…I have a son who is a first year student who recently explored living situations for next year. While we preferred he stay on campus for another year for a number of reasons we would have had no problem with a co-ed living situation. In fact, I believe this was looked into and they found the university didn’t officially sanction this in student apartments, although the dorms are co-ed by floor. We are a fairly conservative family, but first, my son is an adult and capable of making good decisions for himself, and second, I had male roommates when I was in my 20’s, while his father had female roommates. It’s really no big deal as long as everyone respects each other, as you need with any roommate, male or female. Sometimes the best choice is not single sex, or your best party buddies for that matter. ;)</p>
<p>They probably asked you because you are neat. As long as there is no romantic interest and you feel comfortable (I don’t think you are) then there is no issue.</p>
<p>Ok thanks for the input! I’ve talked to a few other people and this seems to happen more often than I thought it does. I’ll have to do some thinking over winter break ha</p>
<p>This was very popular back in the 1980s when the economy was difficult - but I saw it with people in their first or second job out of college. It was usually more of the renting of a house with separate bedrooms where mixed young adults shared the house.</p>
<p>As with any roommate situation, the personalities matter (neatness, respect, consideration, assignment of responsibilities) the most. I was in this situation once and moved out after several months as the other two ladies were sloppy with cleanliness.</p>
<p>My D is a sophomore in college and lives in an apartment in NYC with one female and one male roommate. Everyone gets along great which you have to living in such a small space. It has been a good situation for the 3 of them.</p>
<p>In college, I (a female) lived in a house with 4, sometimes 5 other guys. No problems. In fact, I personally think “mixed” roommate situations are often better than single-sex ones.
If you get along with the girls, and agree to whatever “rules” (cleaning, shopping, food, etc.) they suggest – go for it.</p>
<p>When I was in college I shared a house with 5 women. They were upstairs, I had a “room” in the unfinished basement. They figured only a guy would live in that space. We shared one bathroom (!) and cooking and shopping. It was great. Of course that was 35 years ago and things may have changed.</p>
<p>My son has been living off-campus this year in an apartment with four other people, all women. (It’s divided in two, so there are actually two kitchens and two bathrooms, which makes life easier.) It’s possible that his being gay had something to do with his being asked to join them; I don’t know if they would have wanted to do so if he were straight – maybe because of the perceived awkwardness of being subjected to the “male gaze” if he were straight, and maybe in part because of neatness stereotypes (not that my son is the neatest person in the world, at least at home!). In any event, it’s all worked out just fine, and they all get along very well, with one unfortunate exception: one of the women was forced to move out by her parents after they learned that there was a guy living in the apartment. All her attempts to reason with them (including explaining that she was in no “danger” from my son) apparently failed; they were from India and very conservative in that way.</p>
<p>It’s not even a problem if the guy starts dating one of the girls. What can be a problem, though, is if they date and then break up. It can be difficult for anyone to move out because everyone has signed a lease, so people can find themselves in a situation where they have to share a living room, kitchen, and maybe bathroom with their ex for several months.</p>
<p>This is the sort of situation that builds character. ;)</p>
<p>D had a male roommate all through grad school. They had known each other as undergrads, both were musicians and D had even introduced him to his current fiance. It worked out great. It was essential that each of them had their own bathrooms, just because D is very messy. I encouraged it since I had roomed with one other girl and a guy when I was in grad school.</p>