<p>
Not “automatically”, no. But breaking off into pairs can occur.</p>
<p>
Haha, not much?</p>
<p>Sleepovers at our house were a big No.
Unless it was Sr year and a No-Sleep-Over… where kids stayed up all night and parents picked them up.
For 14 year olds?
Wow.
Who thinks this is a good idea?</p>
<p>The head of school for our daughter’s high school discussed this very specifically at a parent meeting before 9th grade. DO NOT, under any circumstances, ALLOW CO-ED SLEEPOVERS, she told us. I have always wondered if there was a specific incident that made her so emphatic about this… Ds go to a relatively small, independent private high school (about 75 kids per graduating class). So maybe there is a story there, but I have not been able to uncover it.</p>
<p>I can honestly tell you when I was thirteen/fourteen, kids lost their virginities while drunk at sleepovers. Yes, my friends. Playing games like that “5 minutes in heaven” or “Copycat” or just pole dancing/stripping were basically commonplace. They were expected at coed sleepovers. In addition to getting wasted and hooking up/giving lap dances to random guys. We were an interesting group. It got old very quick for me, and I wouldn’t recommend parents letting their 14 year old attend one, just knowing what I do about what happened at ours.</p>
<p>We weren’t a bad group of kids either, we all had good grades, and were raised very well by our parents. This was at a private middle school/high school btw.</p>
<p>Edit: I’m not a parent, I just saw this and clicked on it as I opened CC, so this was about three years ago.</p>
<p>My standard is always, “If the worst would happen, how stupid would I look?” </p>
<p>Let’s say my D goes to an all giirl sleepover at the home of a family I’ve known and trusted . I she snuck out and hooked up with a guy, I’d be entitled to be surprised. BUT, if she hooked up with a guy at a coed sleepover, it would be like “Duh, Missypie, what did you THINK was going to happen?”</p>
<p>S went to a coed sleepover after his junior prom. He had gone solo to the prom so was not hooking up with anyone or wanted to at that time. The kid whose house it was was hell bent on losing his virginity that night. As a result all of the kids who were in that party bus had to leave when he wanted to.
Most of the kids were angry that they had to leave a really good post-prom party on account of him and his girlfriend.
I never let D go to one. I mean, c’mon! What the heck do you think is going to happen??</p>
<p>It’s sad that parents have to be so concerned – I never thought that sleepovers were so often often used as venues for debauchery. My sleepovers involved video games, movies, and sobriety.</p>
<p>74% of all high school seniors in the US have had sex.</p>
<p>Or at least they want their friends to think so.</p>
<p>I had one child who attended very small schools ( graduating class- 18- had been attending the same school with the same kids since 6th grade), she had co-ed overnights throughout school occasionally, it wasn’t any different than having girls over- or perhaps it was, as she came out as a jr.
;)</p>
<p>Neat ironic twist, emeraldkity!</p>
<p>There have been some co-ed sleepovers after dances that I have heard of - oldest D participated in a few senior year. I’m not aware of any freshman that have them, although it wouldn’t surprise me. Not happening in my sophomore D’s group yet.</p>
<p>I disagree with worknprogress2 that “good” kids are all so busy they don’t have time for sleepovers. My S goes to a few a year, all boys with their Xboxes, they play video games and watch movies. He is a good kid, doesn’t have any interest in drinking (or girls!), but is not busy with EC’s, sports, music, etc.</p>
<p>Put me in the category of those who hate sleepovers…D is asleep right now after staying up all night…there are four other things she needs to be doing.</p>
<p>No co-ed sleepovers. S2s gf stayed over after prom since she lived an hr away. Parental convenience. One student upstairs, one down, parent on sofa on the main level. They were 16yo. A co-ed camp-out was planned at one point. My son didn’t even ask. It fell through as parents realized what was going on.</p>
<p>When the boys have friends sleep over we are very, very clear. Beer is counted beforehand. Alarm is set and keypad will chime upstairs if it is disarmed to go out. We’ve never had a problem. We are not looking for a ‘gotcha’, or think there will be trouble. We are not stupid either, and feel it is better to be honest and let all know ahead what the rules are.</p>
<p>A year from now, in college, that will be S2’s decision. I will not condone, supply, or look the other way to anything that goes on in my home.</p>
<p>Obviously I would be a ‘no’ on that 14yo co-ed sleepover.</p>
<p>Wow, I consider myself to be pretty liberal and open minded, but a co-ed sleep over for a 14 year old seems misguided. IMO, sleep overs are over-rated - these children are with each other 5 days a week, 8 hours a day in school. My D always returns exhausted and cranky and is useless for the rest of the week-end. Even she has tired of them and we now decline most invitations unless they are over a school holiday - too busy with BS apps and her academics.</p>