<p>There is a very long history of severe hostility towards trans people in the gay and lesbian communities (for different reasons), dating back at least 40 years. It’s a lot better than it used to be, though, especially among younger people, and especially among those who identify as “queer.” In general, I think you’re far more likely to encounter ignorance than contempt and ridicule (except in certain dark corners of the Internet that all trans people would be wise to avoid).</p>
<p>Besides, the worst you’re likely to encounter from gay and lesbian people is laughter and nastiness. Which are obviously very upsetting. But physical violence against trans people (particularly trans women) – a lot of it extreme, as I’m sure I don’t have to tell you – is almost exclusively the province of straight men.</p>
<p>Sounds like you have made a huge life decision. Now embrace it and don’t fear it. An Ivy will be very welcoming. Some, like Columbia, have single room dorms, which may make the first year a bit more easy in the transition. Don’t let your trans situation define yourself and you will be more successful at your ultimate goal of obtaining a great education, a wealth of friends and a hopefully lucrative, satisfying career. Your situation may be novel or interesting at first, but hopefully will only be a footnote as to who you are in the scheme of things. Good luck to you!</p>
<p>Cobrat, I know your innumerable panoply of friends/relatives/cousins apparently give you insight into every single situation in the country, but given that Consolation went to Wellesley and I have a D currently there, I don’t think you are the authority you think you are on the matter. Of course male students are a part of the academic life at Wellesley (and other women’s colleges) through exchange programs and classes; you needn’t remind us of that. We are questioning why someone who now identifies as a male would want to be at a women’s college when the guiding principle of the college is to educate women, which is a gender that that person is not / is no longer. It is a fair question, and all the nattering about “but I know plenty of W students who study at MIT and vice versa” has nothing to do with the question. It’s a question that doesn’t apply at coed colleges, but it does apply to single-sex ones.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if it has been noted on this thread already, but the president of the student body at American University recently made a public announcement of her decision to transition from male to to female.</p>
<p>Presumably, this young student had not yet fully acknowledged his identity upon starting at Smith and, later, once he acknowledged himself as male, felt sufficiently accepted by his fellow female students that he felt no need to transfer out. That he was so welcomed, accepted, and valued by the other members of the student body speaks highly both of him and his fellow students.</p>
<p>That you, as an outsider to this school with no personal knowledge of any of the individuals involved, find it appropriate to question these students’ friendship and support of their fellow student strikes me as odd. Yes, it’s a women’s college . . . so what? Once a student changes gender, all bonds and friendships should instantly evaporate?</p>
<p>I don’t question their friendship and support of their fellow student during his transition from female to male; I would expect that friends would remain friends. That wasn’t my question. My question was why a now-male student - who is now embracing / living as the gender he truly is as opposed to the one he was “assigned” at birth on the basis of his genitalia - would want to remain at a college whose purpose is the education of WOMEN, a gender he no longer is. That’s all.</p>
<p>And I’m saying that question is not only besides the point if a given Woman’s college…a private institution with the right to define/interpret its mission as it sees fit, but also a manifestation of possible ignorance/prejudice against transgender individuals. </p>
<p>To the latter…please…please learn from the millennial generation and move into the 21st century. </p>
<p>I don’t know…but question such as the one you pose is of the kind asked by socially conservative cranky busybody “get off my lawn” types when they are unhappy at how the world has progressed beyond what they can/are willing to understand/accept. </p>
<p>If someone is a wonderful contributing member of the campus community and continues to be accepted as one of its members…what’s the big deal?</p>
<p>Well, you are just going to have to trust that I am nothing like a socially conservative “get off my lawn” type. In fact, I’m very socially liberal. I have no issues / problems with someone switching gender if that is what he or she believes is right for them, and would be supportive in real life. I ask the same question the way I’d ask why a Christian-conservative-who-has-decided-to-become-a-secular-atheist would want to stay at Liberty University which is designed for evangelicals. </p>
<p>I never said a college doesn’t have the right to define its mission as they see fit, and include / exclude who they see fit. But it begs the question - if this man is now at this school, why not other men? Why should a FtM have special privileges to be a member of the Smith community that a born-male doesn’t? Look, I couldn’t care less if Smith decided to go co-ed tomorrow - that’s their decision / prerogative. But either you’re a single-gender school or you’re a co-ed school. If you’re single-gender, then you’re for those people who were either born that gender and have stuck with it, or people who are transitioning to / now living as that gender (in whatever stage of completeness, I suppose). In other words, a MtF at a woman’s college makes more intuitive sense to me than a FtM who is, by definition, rejecting being a woman (understandably of course).</p>
<p>Knew several people who attended Notre Dame back in the '80s and '90s who started out as socially/politically conservative doctrinaire Catholics who transitioned into becoming socially/politically radical liberal(left of the Green Party) non-Catholics or in some cases…even secular atheists. Even given the subsequent campus cultural mismatch and the hostility their change engendered…they felt their transitioning of social, political, and religious views away from the campus mainstream was no reason to give up the great academics and robust school spirit/alum networking opportunities of their undergrad college. Also, why go through the time and trouble of transferring out if one likes other aspects of the college and can stick it out till graduation?</p>
<p>Also, there are several Oberlin alums who are prominent conservative Republican politicians/associated with GOP causes…and they attended Oberlin during a period when it had a far more radically left campus social/political culture than it does now.* I believe one Oberlin alum commenter here on CC even mentioned being a Republican-oriented voter. </p>
<ul>
<li>When I was there in the '90s…the Green Party was considered “too right wing” and “not radical enough” by many undergrad classmates. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.</li>
</ul>
<p>Pizzagirl, I did think I answered your question in my comment (# 40). Along with my thoughts on the trans man vs. trans woman issue with respect to women’s colleges.</p>
<p>By the way, I don’t blame anyone for using the “MtoF” or “MtF” terminology in this thread, since the OP used it, but most trans women I know strongly reject that term as a label that applies to them, particularly post-transition. “M” has nothing whatsoever to do with my present existence, and hasn’t for many years. The term can also be used against trans women as an inappropriate and unwanted “reminder” that they supposedly aren’t “real” women. Not to mention that many trans women reject it because they don’t believe they were ever “male” in terms of their identity or in any other real sense; to call them “MtF” is to imply wrongly that they were once “men” in the same way as people who were assigned male at birth but aren’t trans, and reinforces the myth that trans women are simply “men” who became women. </p>
<p>So I would certainly never use that term for myself, and wouldn’t want anyone to use it for me. </p>
<p>And all of this, of course, applies equally to trans men and the use of the term “FtoM.”</p>
<p>PS: Cobrat, I have no problem with Pizzagirl asking the question she did. I think it’s a question that makes sense, even though there are answers to it, and she certainly doesn’t come from a place of bigotry. To assume that Pizzagirl is anti-trans in any way would be a major error on your part. She has been entirely supportive of me since I “came out” here three years ago as having a trans history.</p>
<p>Donna, I too would assume that the vast majority of transpeople at colleges around the country did not transition until after they arrived on campus. In many cases, I would not be surprised if they had not even really allowed themselves to admit the desire to do so, much less taken concrete steps in that direction. Once on campus, I also agree that it is perfectly reasonable for them to wish to stay among supportive friends in a safe environment.</p>
<p>I would only find it odd if an already-transitioned transman applied to women’s colleges, even if he could because he was technically biologically female. If his goal was to live easily and naturally as a man, it would be a lot easier to accomplish that in a coed environment, where little or no attention would be drawn to his identity. (Yes, there are male exchange students on Wellesley’s campus all the time, but there are no male matriculated students, and cobrat’s protests to the contrary, I can assure you that people know who is an exchange student and who is not.)</p>
<p>Cobrat, once again we are astonished that your army of friends, relatives, and acquaintances includes many who just happen to have experienced exactly what we are talking about…or close enough for you to make a case. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>However, my red flags went up because the question she posed was almost identical to ones I’ve seen asked by socially-conservative/prejudicial jackasses towards transgender friends in a deliberate attempt to stigmatize and hurt them over the last decade. Some of those jackasses, unfortunately, included their very own family members. </p>
<p>Another part is that IME…it is the parents who tend to be most concerned about allowances for mixed gender roommates/bathrooms…which my LAC has done since the late '60s. </p>
<p>Most of us undergrads didn’t feel it was a big enough deal to create the dramatic histrionics I’ve observed many parents of HS classmates or extended family friends made when they found where I attended college.* This was one instance where in most cases…it was the college-aged students at my LAC who displayed far more maturity and composure than their parents or most adults in that age group. </p>
<ul>
<li>“OMG!! You’re attending a college which allows males and females to be roommates and share bathrooms?!! Gasp! <em>Deep histronic breaths</em> That’s an abomination!!” Yes…that was exactly how one HS classmate’s dad reacted upon hearing where I was going for undergrad. My thoughts…“What an idiot!” :(</li>
</ul>
<p>Who talked about creating histrionics? In the case of the Smith student I mentioned who is now male, if my D was at Smith, what histrionics would I create? None. I might wonder in my head, and discuss with D behind closed doors, but I wouldn’t be protesting or writing letters to the college president or whatever and i wouldnt treat this youngbman with anything other than the same courtesy I’d extend any other student. I think you’ve got me all wrong.</p>