College Applications and Mental Health

Hey! Senior in high school here. I don’t know if this is because of COVID or just being a senior, but I really feel like this process is unhealthy. Of course the transition from being a student to being a student AND a college applicant feels difficult because of the extra time commitment, but that is not what feels so detrimental to my mental health. I’m applying to 12 schools, all of which I really am excited about and chose myself. They are pretty competitive, but I feel like I have a solid resume, stats and I have a strong personality that should be easy to write about. My identity or self worth does not rely on getting into any of these schools, but I want to submit my best work. The personal pressure to submit your best work feels really daunting and at times degrading. The constant messaging of trying to tell a unique story, or show unique values, or stand out from the crowd makes me doubt my own achievements and at times is making me want to just give up writing something because I feel like my writing isn’t impressive or artful enough. Feeling this way, and also always having the dread of having to write these things on my mind is sending me into a spiral. I feel like I have it in me to get into some of these schools, but that I am my own barrier in what I chose to write about or how I write about it. This dread makes me put it off and put it off until I’m 5 days until the deadline and stressing me out. Anyone else feeling the same way? Any advice?