<p>I’m a mom trying to be here for 1st daughter as she makes her college choice. I know I can’t make it for her, I just want to let her vent/discuss/talk through her decision. She is struggling with making decision - her top 3 choices, Georgetown, Stonybrook, & Univ MD are all good schools & she’s interested in med school. She wants to play soccer in college & Stonybrook offers that (plus about half $$); Georgetown is dream school (& close to home in MD, but no $$ & risky chance to play soccer) & UMD will pay all 4 yrs (close to home, but no $$ & risky chance to play soccer). MY QUESTION - how can I help her as she makes the decision? What questions should I try to guide her to think through? How does a parent live through this?? Should parents or student talk w/financial office about $$? Should she revisit the schools in person? Any guidance will be appreciated, since this is our 1st time going through this maze!</p>
<p>Given that the best case scenario would be a school that your D loves, will offer her $$ and let her play soccer all four years, which of those is most important–emotional attachment to the school, $$, or soccer? It sounds as if Gtown would be #1 if she could play soccer and receive aid. If that’s her first choice, then why not have her contact the coach to investigate what the odds are for playing and also the finaid office to see if there’s any money available? (Having the student contact the office/coach makes more of an impact–after all, she’s the one who would attend.)</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I think she should revisit. Can’t she play some kind of club soccer at any college she attends? I would never compare Stony Brook to Georgetown (I don’t know UMD). The SB campus has improved over the years, but it is a state school with a lot of students who go home for the weekend. It’s had a reputation for being wonderful for grad school but not so great for undergrads. I think they’re working to change that, but your d. should try and visit and sit in on classes at all three. If she hasn’t set foot on any of the campuses, she should definitely visit before making a choice. I think she’ll be able to figure out where she’d feel most comfortable/challenged/whatever it is she’s looking for by spending time on each campus.</p>
<p>As she evaluates these choices make sure she understands what playing soccer in college might mean, especially for a student taking an academically demanding load. Are all these schools D1? What is the geographical area of their conferences? How do they travel? When are their practices? I teach architecture in college and all my kids play soccer, S is still playing D3 at college. I have to tell my students that they can manage both, with a great deal of care and discipline their first year but they will have to choose the second year. Practice and second year studio are in direct conflict. My s does fine, but his school puts academics first and only scheule local games during the week. He has missed a couple of late afternoon classes but nothing worse. A friend’s son was playing at a D1 school in Il and often missed several days of classes. They would have road trips to Oklahoma. Also on those trips since he was a non-scholarship player he was responsible for his own food, they did provide lodging. Before she places too much importance on the soccer make sure she fully understands the choice.</p>
<p>Listen to Srmom
my daughter chose her school because it gave her the opportunity to use the art studio & participate in music programs even if she wasn’t taking a class in that field ( unlike her 2nd choice)
In high school she participated in drama every year as well as vocal ensemble and was so engrossed in the arts that right after high school she prefered an arts college- to a liberal art school.
Freshman year of college- she participated in a vocal ensemble but as she became more engrossed in her major- she didn’t have desire or energy to spend a lot of time in areas that weren’t related.
I would hate to see someone chose a school because of one thing- like a sport or even what they think they may major in and then three years later that isn’t even applicable anymore.
In my daughters case- it didn’t hurt her at all. Not only does her school have more arts opportunities than her other choice- it also was stronger in her field
I also would never compare stonybrook to Georgetown although I don’t understand your post of UMD will pay all 4 years but no $$</p>
<p>I agree w/ Lefthandofthedog regarding Stonybrook as being a commuter school given it’s proximity to the LIRR and the majority of L.I. kids that are on the campus.</p>
<p>I would not hang the final decision on whether or not she gets the chance to play soccer. while she may be gun ho about it now once she gets on campus, she may want ot give it up to pursue something else then only play as a club sport or recreationally. If she plays soccer as a team sport it depends upon the school and their attendance policy for missing classes to attend games. </p>
<p>At my daughter’s school their attendance policy is as follows:</p>
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<p>Some schools do not give athletes slack as far as the attendance requirements and will drop them a grade because of absences. She will be challenging balancing the number of hours spent in lab as part of the pre-med curriculum (4 chem classes, at least 2 bios, 2 physics classes all with labs) with the time needed for practice and games.</p>
<p>You can always talk to the financial aid office about $$. If Georgetown gives need based financial aid, they will most likely not match the merit aid given at UMD.</p>
<p>If she wants to play soccer at the club level, there are lots of clubs–not collegiate teams—that compete. This is one link I found: <a href=“http://eteamz.active.com/postgamefc/[/url]”>http://eteamz.active.com/postgamefc/</a></p>
<p>(A friend of mine has played with the same soccer club for 15 years, every Wednesday.)</p>
<p>The best advice is to use the rule, where would you be happy if you could not play. Many students go to college wanting to play their sport, even recruited athletes. and after 1 semester change their minds.
You need to be somewhere that you would be happy no matter what. You want to like the campus , and the atmosphere with and with out the soccer. Also, you want to make sure the school offers the coerct courses for your interest.</p>
<p>Also not being recruited (whcih is what I assume for U Md and Georgetown) makes it unlikely that she will play/be on the team. She would be entering as a walkon. If the soccer is so important, then she should go where she knows she will be on the team.</p>
<p>I agree about the soccer. My D played for 9 years before high school. Played as a freshman and was done. She found that she couldn’t do all the clubs, meetings, ecs she wanted to. She also discovered the sports crowd was very small- same people and she learned she wanted to expand her horizons. She was right. She is having a much more interesting year this year. I know its only highschool, but the two and a half hour practices six days a week were to be truthful annoying. </p>
<p>And, would she be happy at her school if she couldn’t play? If she was injured, would she be happy at the school? Personally, I think the sport should have a lower prioroity to a choice after academics and environment. Those will stay the same at a school, while the desire to play soccer may not.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Another consideration. At the school that guarantees her to play soccer, is the team any good? Could it be frustrating to play for a medicore team and be in a school that is not her favorite? Or to play club soccer on a medicore team but be in a school she loves? This is an important question. My husband would rather not play than play for poor teams.</p>
<p>The level of commitment in college sports is so much greater than in most high schools. The travel time alone is so grueling, let alone the practice. I would be very leery of picking a college based on playing v/jv athletics. There are so many other things to do, including academic work, that only those students for whom their sport is truly an overriding passion may want to continue in college. I speak from my own experience, and from my daughter’s.</p>
<p>oops! I meant the University of Maryland offers full ride, all 4 years, but practically no chance to play soccer, as team is already set for next year; same is true of Gtown. She spoke to Gtown coach & he basically told her already has his team & she could try out 1st day of class.</p>
<p>That’s a great way to describe my d’s love of soccer! Not sure she would enjoy her college experience as much unless she was physically active. Plays at high level on travel/club team, but her HS team these past 4 years wasn’t at her level & she carried the team (except soph yr when out w/ACL). We’ve told her same thing - needs to pick school would be happy in if can’t play soccer.</p>
<p>She can be physically active without having to be on the schools team. There are many other ways.</p>
<p>irish, go to the school that is best “with a broken leg.” When one of the “set” players gets injured, can’t hack the work, etc, jump on the team.</p>
<p>I know a someone from my area who was a walk-on to the Satnford tennis team & wound up being a varsity starter as a freshman! (Boy the coach sure got that wrong; she was not even recruited.)</p>
<p>Anyway if she was not able to get onto the team, you could cross that bridge (club team/transfer) later. My guess is that if her level of play is a match, there will be starters who lack her passion etc-- and space will open up.</p>
<p>Key here is to support her through the process, however it goes, and to positively reinforce her choice.</p>
<p>My son plays college soccer (sophomore) and his grades are really effected by the soccer season. He’s come close to missing his max amount of classes before getting a failure notice. Additionally the pressure is unbelievable - he says it’s “not fun” but apparently once you are on the team, to quit makes you a traitor and your social life is effected. I don’t think it’s worth it at all. He says the most fun he has had has been playing pick up games at night with the locals and also the indoor winter season that the kids put together. Tell her to pick her dream college and forget the soccer! If it happens, it happens, but don’t base your future on something she is not going to turn into a profession. There are lots of opportunities to play premiere ball when she gets back home in the late spring.</p>
<p>If she wants to play soccer, at most schools she can play club, or even intramurals. That would keep her active, and she can enjoy the sport. If the rosters are set a t Georgetown and Maryland, then the chance for a walkon is very slim. The competition is feirce. She would be trying to take a spot from one of the recruited players, so has to be twice as good.
The level of commitment needed at college is far greater than high school or club. You can see who was recruited at those schools, since most list there incomming freshman classes for sports.</p>
<p>In many instances the players are ODP,regional and national players. How does your daughter stack up to them? If she doesnt make it as a walk on will she be happy?</p>
<p>Once again… go for the school, and play intramurals. Or if you must play D1, play where they want you and you have a spot (but like the school too, because anyone can get cut!).</p>
<p>My daughter chose a top LAC over several Ivies, in part because the LAC’s D-III status made it much more likely that she could continue participating in varsity sports. Now a sophomore, having completed 2 seasons, she is giving it up, for many of the reasons outlined by others above. She has no regrets about her college choice, but she did find that the collegiate athletics were really a grind, and took away from other interests–studying, socializing, skiing, intramurals…and Ultimate Frisbee! She has no dearth of physical activity, in fact a much greater variety without the varsity team commitment. The 3-4 hour bus trips (one way) for away games got to be tedious. I mentioned “overriding passion,” but I should have been even stronger…the kids I see sticking it out in varsity sports at Williams are those for whom the sport is almost an essential aspect of their identities. I think it really takes that level of commitment to compete in varsity college athletics, and those that do it give up a fair amount of the rest of the college experience. I would never try to talk anyone out of their college choice, but since you asked, I do think your daughter should be considering which school she likes best without soccer as she ponders her future.</p>
<p>Thanks for the comments - hubby & I had long talk w/D last nite, to point out lot of what is repeated above - i.e., have to like the school without the sport, trying to get her to think through factors that are important to what she wants out of college (other than just a job at end of 4 years). UMD & Stonybrook both state schools, larger population. Also, if undergrad isn’t end of her school, plans for grad or med school, shouldn’t degree rec’d from LAST school attended carry more weight? Maybe go to state school for undergrad & then to GTown or Hopkins (another accepted school) for med school (her current desire is to be an orthopedic surgeon); save undergrad $$ for grad/med school. As D put it, she has been playing soccer since 9, always a very driven, passionate player, & she says she can’t imagine not having that outlet. We told D that we support her in whichever school she picks, & to really consider quality of life aspects of college life, as a key factor, not just “name” school or chance to play soccer. Comments appreciated!!</p>
<p>My thoughts are what is something happens, injury wise? Seriously, this should be a concern. If she gets hurt, can’t play, can she still be happy? Not just in school but in life? Having a passion is one thing, being single minded to the point of not seeing the bigger picture can be detrimental. Not knowing your D, I am of course generalizing. But, after reading so many threads from students who found what a strain sports can be in college, your D really needs to consider her plans. Mine D played since she was 5. Thought she wanted to play in high school. Did it for one year and discovered so much more was available. Your D could be missing out on some great things in college by limiting herself to soccer. What my D discovered was that when she left her clubs do to soccer schedules, she missed a lot of leadership opportunities, etc. Unless she goes pro, I would discourgage picking a school focused on a sport.</p>