<p>Berurah:</p>
<p>I'm glad to know I was helpful. Brevity and clarity are actually very hard to achieve in a first draft. In my opinion, there's not enough emphasis on editing and revising in high school. When he was in 7th and 8th grade, my S had a terrific teacher who did require second drafts. One of her consistent criticisms of my S's writing was that his voice did not quite come through. He used to really have difficulty "speaking from the heart." Things improved a bit after he began writing fiction and thus getting away from the expository style of writing.</p>