<p>My D will start applying in Fall 2005, so she hasn't written her essays yet. But I've been reading around on CC and elsewhere and am a bit puzzled by this type of writing as a "genre". Many of the examples I've read that others say are good seem overwritten, more like short stories that happen to be based on true experiences than like discursive analyses of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities. (The latter was the kind of essay I wrote back in the Middle Ages when I applied to colleges.) Showing off "creative wiriting" talents is fine for the prospective English-fine arts majors but it doesn't reveal the analytic mind and logical argumentation that seem to me more crucial for subsequent acaemic success. Whatever happened to good E.B.White style prose?</p>
<p>My son wrote two essays (Why-I-Want-To-Major-In-Blank and Why-This-College) that were extremely straightforward and yet gave some insight on himself. He gave them to me to critique and I told him not to change a thing (except for one or two grammatical errors).</p>
<p>On the other hand, he wrote an essay for a scholarship competition that was more like the form you wrote about. It won him a $1000.00 scholarship.</p>
<p>So I think it depends on the audience and the competition. I actually thought his "straightforward" essays were refreshing, especially after reading so many "overwritten" ones.</p>
<p>My S wrote two essays that probably should fall into the "short story" category. His goals and accomplishments were clear from other parts of the application. As for his personality, he was trying to show, not just tell that he had other interests besides math and science. A discursive analysis would not have worked for him.</p>
<p>This is a really interesting question. While it's a bit hard to generalize without seeing examples of straightforward vs. overwritten essays, I believe the former will actually come across better than the latter--especially if it genuinely demonstrates "the analytic mind and logical argumentation...crucial for subsequent academic success." And E. B. White's prose remains far more impressive than any attempts to show off highfaluting SAT vocabulary.</p>
<p>To my mind, the problem with many essays--including the model that some guidance departments hand out that compares climbing a mountain to the applicant's desire to scale the heights of all knowledge--is that they're trite or boring. Although creative gimmicks arent necessary, and may even detract from the effectiveness of an essay, the main purpose (especially now that the revised SAT will purport to test basic writing skills more thoroughly) is to give admissions officers a glimpse into the students heart and mind that they wont get from anything else on the application.</p>
<p>The best book Ive ever seen on the subjectand one of my favorite books on writing, periodis Harry Baulds ON WRITING THE COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY.</p>
<p>"The best book Ive ever seen on the subjectand one of my favorite books on writing, periodis Harry Baulds ON WRITING THE COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY."</p>
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[quote]
discursive analyses of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities
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imho, the short story "genre" approach is a swing of the pendulum away from a boring discursive analysis of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities. The latter are reputed to be putting too many adcoms to sleep. I do not think the swing of the pendulum is a swing in the wrong direction, either. </p>
<p>The key, again imho, is to write something that excites the reader's interests to keep on reading. The short story "genre" really works for that purpose. S wrote in such a style, without knowing that it was the "recommended" approach (we didn't discover cc until way late). That is his style as, altho more of a math geek, he has always been a good creative writer and finds it easier to describe who he is in a narrator voice than what, to him, is a "brag book" voice.</p>
<p>Ergo, choose your genre but make your essay a good read, not a chore.</p>
<p>When my kids wrote their essays, I considered the most important feature of the esssays to be their authenticity. The kids spoke from their own experience and in their own voice. Sure, they polished the essays and made sure the grammar and spelling were correct. But the writing was direct and efficient, not flowery or filled with great literary allusions. Above all the essays told something about the authors. </p>
<p>When I read my son's essay, while I could imagine different types of essay (different subject matter or examples) I didn't see anything to recommend be changed or improved. I did correct a couple of typos. When I read my daughter's essay I felt the exposition could be improved but I didn't touch it because I thought the readers would appreciate the authenticity and her voice and personality came through.</p>
<p>agreed Mac. Although my kids like philosophy and history, so those references tend to crop up in what they write.</p>
<p>The question that many of the essays ask is tell us something about you that we don't already know from your application. So if they already know that you have good grades, scores, ecs, etc...and that you are a hard worker, respected by your teachers, elected by your peers, (insert appropriate kudos here)...you do have to get creative with your essay to answer that question.</p>
<p>My son doesn't like the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" essays, but those do tend to be more flowery and interesting when faced with a stack of essays. Hopefully he didn't put his adcoms to sleep. ;)</p>
<p>Above all what the adcom can't learn from your stats and most of your "products" is what you THINK and what MOTIVATES you, INTERESTS YOU (and why). What other people say (in recommendations) can help a bit in this regard but those writers aren't inside your (the student's) head. If you don't get this into your essay, you have lost the main opportunity to convey it to the admissions committee.</p>
<p>"My D will start applying in Fall 2005, so she hasn't written her essays yet. But I've been reading around on CC and elsewhere and am a bit puzzled by this type of writing as a "genre". Many of the examples I've read that others say are good seem overwritten, more like short stories that happen to be based on true experiences than like discursive analyses of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities."</p>
<p>The college essay is a particular kind of writing, NOT like school essays. They are not meant to be a good analytical paper that proves a thesis statement. As well, the essay is not meant to recount goals and accomplishments which are already on the application. The essay needs to show who the person is...a personal side of the student. I would agree that the essay is meant to show "personal qualities". A student should brainstorm their personal qualities about themselves that they hope to showcase. Then write an essay that SHOWS those aspects of him/herself. The essay is not meant to be telling all the accomplishments. The essay, in most cases (depending on the prompt) should be narrative in style and show these qualities but not tell them out right. It should not be "explaining" in other words. Anecdotes that show the personal traits work well. There are SOME essays that might be more straightforward such as the "why X college" prompts. But even essays that ask why this major, can be infused with anecdotes. </p>
<p>I concur with the recommendation to read Harry Bauld's book, plus any sample essays that work in many other resource books. I don't think these kinds of essays are "overwritten". They are simply a different style of essay from those that are written for school. They are not analytical with supporting statements. They should not even be statements. Sometimes there are short answer questions on an application that require more straightforward answers but for the main essay prompts, a more narrative or showing essay that reveals personal characteristics without telling/explaining them, works best. </p>
<p>honestly i think that when a kid writes an essay to get into college it should be 100% their work.. i see so many kids posting their essays on here, asking for input, asking for a critique.. and many of them seem to practically rewrite their essays afterwords.. I don't know, i just think that's not their work.. when you apply to school you should be giving what you think, using your own writing styles.. not your style mixed with comments from 50 other people..</p>
<p>I disagree with fendergirl. Input and critique are very valuable tools for college essay writing as well as for writers, and this is how writing is taught now. Process and rewriting are important in order to develop your piece and I think if someone can listen to feedback and rewrite an essay they are not stuck in a rut. As long as you are the one doing the writing.</p>
<p>I completely agree with those who are saying that the colleges want to hear a clear honest voice, with simple and direct writing. Unless you are a very skilled writer. They want to learn something about you that makes you tick and shows how you are different and how you contribute to others, your school, your community.</p>
<p>Ideally, you "show" your goals, accomplishments and personal qualities rather than "tell". You must realize that there is a vast increase in applicants since the dark ages, so distinguishing yourself is more difficult than ever. A considerate, entertaining read is a treat, I'm sure.</p>
<p>Yes, I understand about distinguishing yourself, but if I were on an adcom, I would be drawn to essays of the less is more variety: good, clean, strong prose that is precise and speaks in the student's authentic voice, using "les mots justes" and not sprinkling the contents of a thesaurus around.</p>
<p>Your original post seemed to be more about content than style. These are two quite different issues.</p>
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<p>Many of the examples I've read that others say are good seem overwritten, more like short stories that happen to be based on true experiences than like discursive analyses of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities. >></p>
</blockquote>
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<p>One can "sprinkle the contents of a thesaurus" on a "discursive analysis of one's goals, accomplishments and personal qualities" as well as on ""short stories that happen to be based on true experiences." In fact, a college application essay that used "discursive analysis" probably would put an adcom to sleep.</p>
<p>
[quote]
honestly i think that when a kid writes an essay to get into college it should be 100% their work.. i see so many kids posting their essays on here, asking for input, asking for a critique.. and many of them seem to practically rewrite their essays afterwords.. I don't know, i just think that's not their work.. when you apply to school you should be giving what you think, using your own writing styles.. not your style mixed with comments from 50 other people..
[/quote]
</p>
<p>fendergirl,</p>
<p>Despite the fact that it may (or may not) put a student at a distinct disadvantage, I agree with you completely. My son did his own essays. I was the only other person who saw them. After his getting rejected from Yale, I pm'ed them to marite who was very generous to critique them for him, but in the end, he didn't rewrite the essays but rather chose to complete a new ones on different topics. </p>
<p>While it may be that good writing is often a collaborative effort, I feel that COLLEGE ESSAY WRITING should be the students' own work. Call me old fashioned, but I feel like anything else is sort of "gaming the system". And yes, I found myself a bit bitter when my son was rejected EA from Yale while others, whose essays had been commented on and reworked so many times that they were virtually unrecognizable as the students' own work in the end, got in to other elite colleges. </p>
<p>fender, I have admired you and the values that you seem to hold many times on this forum. This subject is no exception. </p>
<p>To me the college essay is more like a short memoir piece. I don't know why they call it an essay, but I guess no one reads Francis Bacon anymore. ;-) As for input, well, professional writers get feedback and criticism; why shouldn't students? A good editor knows how not to take over for a writer and knows how to encourage the writer to sound more like him or herself. That's very different from doing the work for the writer. It's a process that is used, btw, in many high school and college writing courses.</p>
<p>Berurah:
A big problem with the college application essay is that it is very unlike the 5 paragraph expository essay beloved of high school teachers (and quite a few college profs). Some high school teachers spend time helping their students by assigning essays on commonly encountered topics; others don't. Often, very good, articulate students don't have a clue as to what makes an effective application essay. They fret that they don't have extraordinary experiences or achievements to recount. They are used to quoting others in support of their arguments instead of using their own voices.
They want to impress adcoms with their college-readiness by using big words. </p>
<p>I hope your S found my critique helpful as he wrote different essays. That's really the point of commenting on essays in college. It's not designed to help a student rewrite a paper that has already been graded, but to point out ways in which the paper could be improved. By providing copious comments, profs hope that future papers will be better researched, better organized, better written.</p>
<p>marite, my original post was about "genre" implying something about style and content. If , for example, a summer job gave you some deep insight into "the meaning of your life"--you could write a discursive essay explaining how the job changed yor world view or you could set the scene and present a kind of stream of consciousness or give a Hemingwayesque description. In the discursive version you would aim for precision of the insight and its ramifications, in the "short story" you would aim for mood, tone, and drama. Insight could be less boring than second-or third-rate Joyce or Hemingway. But you are right that over-reliance on the thesaurus could be dangerous either way.</p>
<p>In fact my son did benefit greatly from your extremely thorough and exceedingly helpful critique of his essays. He ended up scrapping the first essay because it seemed like you felt like there were so many problems with it that to rework it would essentially "gut" it, if that makes any sense. That said, it did go out as is to at least one or two other schools because it was on the apps. before we received your critique. </p>
<p>I guess when I think about it, he did kind of rework the second essay based on some of your suggestions, though the wording and ideas remained solely his. It was more a matter of adding some elements. </p>
<p>Some of the other essays concerned different specific questions that he HAD to answer, so he had to come up with entirely new topics.</p>
<p>It just seems oxymoronic to me that writing that is <em>supposed</em> to be essentially from the heart and soul of a student has to be so carefully scripted. To me, it is akin to seeking out significant plastic surgery so that you can look like yourself. There is something essentially skewed about this process, just as there is about so much of the college app. process. </p>
<p>After thinking about it, I would definitely differentiate between those who sought general advice on essays from those who literally had others write or rewrite them--two different things, I guess.</p>
<p>At any rate, we did very much appreciate the help you offered my son, and it did not go to waste! :)</p>
