<p>Hi, could someone give feedback on my essay? I am applying for Texas A&M (Petroleum Engineering) from out of state with a 4.3 gpa and 40/670 class rank. Is the essay good enough? What do I need to change? Thank You!</p>
<p>Prompt: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.</p>
<p>Essay:
I dashed into the room, wild eyed and hyperventilating. I found my victim, sitting behind her desk, encompassed by the mountain of assignments that required her grading. I went on the attack, arming myself with a weapon so powerful, it would one day change my life. I shrieked,” MRS. BARTMANN!!” and charged. I slammed my math test down on her desk. Recovering from her shock, Mrs. Bartmann gazed upon my test and found one letter on top: F.</p>
<pre><code> Impulsive and egotistical, I was the typical fourth grader. I had never failed in my life leading up to this moment and the feeling disturbed me. I was on the verge of tears as I looked into Mrs. Bartmann’s eyes for comfort. Being my English teacher, she could not help me with why I had failed. I started ranting about how the math teacher was inept and how he wanted to fail me on purpose. Mrs. Bartmann put a finger to her lips. The effect was immediate as I stopped babbling. She stood up and led me to a room down the hall. Inside was a picture of some old man with wisps of white hair that matched his white mustache. There was no label or description of who he was. Mrs. Bartmann told me about this man. When he was young, his teachers had branded him as a rebel and told him he would never amount to anything in his life. He had gotten F’s and D’s in school. He had also revolutionized the world of science like no one ever before. Mrs. Bartmann then turned, looked me in the eye and said, “Jai, failure is the key to success.” And she walked out of the room, leaving a confused fourth grader staring at a portrait of an old man.
Mrs. Bartmann changed me. Throughout the rest my educational life, especially in high school, I was never afraid to fail. I embraced getting bad grades. Rather than letting it consume me, I learned from the mistakes I made and strived to change it in the future. It made me a harder and more effective thinker. I learned to gain knowledge, not to gain better grades. My motivation to this day was Mrs. Bartmann, who challenged me to become something more. She guided me through tough situations and was always by my side, even after the fourth grade. She convinced me by telling me that it took Thomas Edison 10,000 times to create a light bulb, but he never gave up. She taught me perseverance when faced with failure.
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<p>Several years after I graduated elementary school, I walked into my dad’s office. I went to the printer room to make some copies for a school report. While I waited for the printer to finish its job, I noticed something hanging on the wall. It was the same picture of the same old man, only this time there was a caption. It read, “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein.</p>
<p>Quick Question, it says I have to essays A and B on Texas A&m’s website and it says essay C is optional but strongly recommended. Should I do essay C as well?</p>