I’m planning to study music and stem (either pre med or physics, can’t decide between the two at this point) at a university, most of my extracurriculars are music based and I feel like I have some really good ideas for writing my essay around my experiences with music, but I’m really worried that this will hurt my chances in the stem department. I go to a rural high school so there are pretty much no stem-based extracurriculars available, I’ve taken the hardest stem classes available to me and I won a local precalc competition (there weren’t many entries), but I’m not sure if that would be enough. Bottom line is, I’m just really conflicted on what I should write my essay about and I would really appreciate some guidance
I’m inclined to say that your STEM abilities will be evident on your transcript, so writing about music and what it means to you should be fine. I know someone who did exactly this this past year, applying to engineering, and he got into a number of good schools.
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You can write about anything that shows something important about who you are.
And music is, after all, just noisy math 
Zero issue. Write about what you want. By the way, many STEM students are musically talented.
Needless to say, your essay topic should have zero to do with admissions chances.
Examples - girl by us got into Yale writing about the exhilaration of waiting for Papa John’s Pizza. Another wrote about the yellow fuzz on the tennis ball.
So I think you are worried about something that needs no worry. ECs needn’t match a major either etc. Does band or football or working at McDonalds tie into STEM ? Not directly although one could find ties - responsibility, teamwork etc.
You do you - and that’s your best bet. Don’t bend for them.
Good luck.
You don’t need to write about either. To echo @tsbna44, some of the best essays I have read were about Legos, blueberry muffins, and thrift shops. There are free essay readers here on CC. Go to the essay section and submit the info requested.
If your musical talent and EC’s warrant it, a music supplement can help with admissions, including a recording/video, music resume, and music letters of recommendation (1-2). It doesn’t matter whether you will major in music or even participate on campus. Colleges value the work ethic, discipline and commitment of musicians.
Premed and physics are not mutually exclusive, although doing a music-physics double major in addition to the pre med coursework might be a very busy courseload. But physics+pre med+ however many music classes you can fit would be more doable