<p>Help! S is graduating & in past 2 months has decided he no longer likes his major. I’m sure he won’t be the first or last, but what to do? Maybe he’d like to start over - not an option, (on our account anyway.) Any advice?</p>
<p>Pretty much what you said. He can do whatever he wants–on his own $$$$$</p>
<p>After he graduates, he can on his own dime take courses that would allow him to go to grad school in the major he likes.</p>
<p>My family member got a bachelor’s degree in sound engineering (I hope that is close to right) a couple of years ago. He has worked a number of jobs, some tangentially related (writing, singing, performing in a band). Some were not related but helped him earn some money. Meantime he is pursuing his music and is also hoping to get into a graduate writer’s program so he writes, writes, writes and performs.</p>
<p>THink out of the box of things that might be related to his degree that he could at least do while trying to figure out the next step. A lot of people have to adapt, especially during these economic times, and find other pathways, using what they’ve already learned and done.</p>
<p>Encourage him to get a job in a lab in the field he thinks he would prefer. He’ll gain an understanding of the new field, build relationships with profs, and be in a good position for future job or grad school.</p>
<p>Are you asking what YOU should do or what HE should do?</p>
<p>He should graduate and get a job. Perhaps he is one of those people who believes he is going to “like” everything he does in life, or something… Mostly, though, he should just graduate and get a job and get on with the business of being an adult.</p>
<p>You should get him a graduation present and laugh and tell him about all the jobs you and his father have had over the years. Another strategy is to just pretend you can’t hear him. Good luck.</p>
<p>Love him, hug him, and say “WELCOME TO BEING AN ADULT!”</p>
<p>Followed up with, we will emotionally always be here, but at this time it is time for you to accept that it is YOUR life, and you are responsible for it. If that means you have to go to work and night school to get the credits for another major, so be it, if it means you work 9-5 and hate your job, so be it. YOUR LIFE, YOUR DECISION, but the bank is closed here.</p>
<p>Maybe, he doesn’t hate it, but is afraid to make the jump from student to employee. College life is fun, and it is daunting to them to realize in a few short months, gone are the days of really only working 3-4 hrs a day by going to class, and gone are the days of rigging your schedule so you don’t have to be up before 10. </p>
<p>This might have been a unique way of floating the idea with the folks about staying in school for another yr.</p>
<p>Many people I know are not working in a field even tangentially connected to their undergrad degree.
Even for instance the CEO of REI started as an engineer, then she went into banking.
My D got her undergrad in biology, now she is headed for a education degree.</p>
<p>One reason why it isn’t good to specialize too much with undergrad, and continuing school at this point seems like a really bad idea, cause he once he starts working, he will find out more about his aptitudes and interests which may be very different from what he thinks they are now.</p>
<p>Oh dear…sounds like a kid who isn’t ready to cut the college apron strings more than anything. It’s a big scary world. If your son hasn’t visited the Career office at his college, that would be a good start. If it were my son I would tell him to find a summer job at a minimum and decompress for a couple months while figuring a path out or plan B (I would tell my son) is to get a job in a field related to his major, see what kind of education benefits the company has and go from there…in other words take the path of least resistance into the first job. I remember decades later the feeling of “loss” at graduation and the feeling of “where do I go” and “did I make a mistake” and a million other feelings. I basically picked a city, moved there, and started looking for any job somewhat related to my interests in the middle of a horrible economy while waitressing to cover the rent in a shared apartment with someone who already had furniture, etc. and a bus pass. It was tough and it took about 4 months but I was proud of myself in the long run for figuring it out on my own. We were pretty clear with ours that we were done supporting after college, that part you’ll have to figure out for your own family. It’s quite easy to understand how kids become “permanent” students, it’s familiar and it’s “easy.”</p>
<p>There certainly might be a subconscious desire to avoid leaving the relative safety and comfort of the college nest that could be part of this. Of course, the major/career might not be a good fit for him as well. </p>
<p>As other posters have said, he is an adult now, so needs to face some consequences and find his own path. He probably ought to go ahead and seek a job in his field, while figuring out if he can use that to move toward something related but more to his liking, or get the job to buckle down and save some money so he can afford to add to his education and/or start over in a new field. Odds are good that the field he is trained in will provide better financial opportunities than starting brand new in something else.</p>
<p>I don’t think I’d tell him to lay back and decompress. He made a choice, you helped support that choice, and now he has to deal with the consequences. Sort of like sticking with a sport or activity once you have committed for the season 
I’d say the “season” is until HE can afford to transition to something he wants to do.</p>
<p>People change careers. It’s not a big deal. My guess, however, is that he’s just scared about the life that’s coming at him fast.</p>
<p>Not liking one’s major can have nothing to do with not liking one’s job as it relates to one’s major. Has he done a co-op or had an opportunity to experience what his first future job would be like? Lots of things can be very boring in the classroom, and include all kinds of tasks and information that are disconnected and not used in one’s occupation, yet the occupation itself can be really interesting. Moreover, one’s first job is often not like the second, third and so on. For many jobs you start out technical, and if you are any good, they promote you into management anyway!</p>
<p>Even if he doesn’t like his first job (because it shares so many attributes with his major), it doesn’t really matter. Most people end up in careers that have nothing to do with their original major. They go down convoluted career paths and/or go back for more education. So he is not unique in that regard and he’ll be fine.</p>
<p>My wife is the one who taught me how to handle situations like this. You listen, ask questions, but offer no suggestions or solutions. If your son comes up with a solution that seems to make sense, you might want to discuss or agree, it even that is pushing it.</p>
<p>Case in point: education classes. D1 teaches in an academic program for a summer job, but she HATES education classes. She loves being in front of the classroom, doing lesson plans, etc. She said other than some classroom management tips, her exposure to ed classes has been very negative. She was thinking about minoring in education, but couldn’t stand the classwork. Since she doesn’t intend to teach right out of college anyway (maybe 10 years down the road), she decided to put it off and either pick the classes up more cheaply somewhere when she is ready to move that way or hopefully get in somewhere through a program that allows real world experience as a substitute. But this an example of classwork that is quite boring vs. actually working in the job.</p>
<p>I have a BA and an MA in wildly different subjects. I realized I didn’t really like my major as a junior, but by then it was too late to switch. So I took as many courses as I could in the subject I had come to love, and then went to grad school. I didn’t have to pay tuition and even got a small stipend which, along with a part-time job, paid the rent. I’ve never regretted the switch, even though I’m earning a fraction of what I would have if I’d stayed with my original plan.</p>
<p>You know, Booklady, I did pretty much the same. Have never worked a day in my life in my major. I had a little more leeway than the OP’s son, though, figured it out about a year before I graduated. I actually didn’t go to grad school right away, just made up 2 resumes. One in what I wanted to do, and one in what I majored in. Pounded the pavement, figured I needed to take the first job offer in whichever came first. The non-major job offer came through first, so that is what I did (do) for a living. I did go back for a degree in the area and picked up some professional certification later in my career.</p>
<p>I never thought about this but I am not in a career aligned with my BA major and never have been. I never stopped to think about that. I set out looking for a job that related but landed one that really had nothing to do with my major but used similar skill sets. I also went back and did a master’s that aligned more with what was now my “career track.”</p>
<p>I love these stories. I actually do work in my major but it seems pretty unusual nowadays. </p>
<p>Hey swimom, can you tell us your son’s major? Maybe we can suggest future plans for him!</p>
<p>I think there are many people who work in fields that have almost nothing to do with what they studied in college. I like to see someone with a college degree because it tells me that they have spent 4 years pursuing a goal, and if they are interested in learning the job, they probably can learn the job. I suppose a very specialized education may limit one’s employment choices, but I still think that there are jobs in many businesses that require college, but not necessarily a specific course of study. It’s too soon to start over now. Let him get a job and see how it goes for a while.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your stories, it’s very reassuring to hear the many paths you’ve traveled. My son is in civil engineering, which he chose partly because he didn’t see himself sitting @ a desk all day (I agree, tho I tell him there may come a time when that is more appealing.) Now, in his last semester, all he’s doing is computer programming & he hates it. He says he wouldn’t have gone this route had he known there was so much computer work to it, & he’s angry because he didn’t find out til this semester. I told him just because he’s doing it now probably doesn’t mean the job he gets will have so much computer work, (?anyone know?) tho most jobs of any kind have at least some. He’s changed his focus in civil engineering to environmental. He hasn’t had an internship. Does anyone know if Engineers Without Borders or Habitat for Humanity will be an option if he can’t find a job? Or do they want experience? I told him to talk to the career counselor, haven’t heard if he has yet.</p>