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<p>Very good advice, HImom. He was lucky enough to get something in his field, and if he gives it his attention and energy, this is probably the best first step at this point toward a full-time career.</p>
<p>HImom - I’m sure your son is probably on top of this, but make sure he told the appropriate people at work about his travels.</p>
<p>In defense of houses - you can personalize them, your “rent” never goes up if you have a fixed rate mortage, and you can build lots of equity, and, if you stay put, you eventually own them outright. Not for nothing do people want to buy rental property; rental owners end up making money! If you buy wisely and stay put, you end up with a house one day, and then your monthly “rent” payments become zero. :)</p>
<p>How did this turn into a real estate discussion? Perhaps a new thread could be started for those so inclined. The OP has raised an issue that is pressing for her, one that many of us are thinking about for the future.</p>
<p>Congrats on your son getting a job. In my house, my kids can live as long as they like. Period. (In Italy, sons live with their mothers until they - the sons that is - are married.) If you don’t need the rent money, why take it? (Eventually, he ends up with all the money anyway, right?) My kids are responsible - they pay rent currently where they are, but if they needed to live at home because they couldn’t afford living elsewhere, what would be the sense in impoverishing them still further? </p>
<p>Savor the extra time you have together, and count your blessings.</p>
<p>Soccerguy,
S talked to his employer after he got his security clearance and BEFORE he finalized his travel plans and bought his tickets. They’re fine with his travel.</p>
<p>I just talked with a woman who just hired someone as a 89-day emergency hire. She had to fight to get him wages she considered somewhat decent @ $20/hour with NO benefits. He has THREE masters degrees, including one in electrical engineering. I suspect he may be living at home as well! They wanted to give him even lower wages and are very iffy as to what will happen when this job ends as to whether they will have anything for him. :(</p>
<p>Agree that in depth discussion of real estate is not really germane to the OP’s main query and might be more useful in separate thread.</p>
<p>I second Mini. Where I live, kids are home until married. I am not for or against it. I grew up in California and was expected to make it on my own ASAP. Family arrangements vary. My son is home for the first time in two years. It is glorious. He leaves in four days but I’ll take whatever. We have had the best conversations that far surpass skype communications. Nothing stays the same for long and I totally understand having to change parenting gears so to speak. Best wishes…</p>
<p>I treasured the time S lived with us–August thru April. It was the longest we had spent with him since he greaduated HS in 2006! We also had some great and memorable conversations as well as a lot of nice time “hanging around” with one another. It was a very nice interlude for all of us. S opened up to us a bit about his thoughts, dreams and tentative career thoughts–it gave us new insights into S and he has matured so much from his years in college.</p>
<p>Both kids know they have a home with us whenever and wherever it is wanted or needed. My folks always had an open door as well and never charged any rent or other expenses.</p>
<p>OP here- It is the end of the first week. Things are going fairly well. I am making the choice to focus on the positive and enjoy the things I love about him.I am enjoying seeing his emerging maturity. Progress is being made on his stuff. Some of it has left my family room and entered his bedroom. He is spending plenty of quality time with us.
It looks like the 2nd job won’t be necessary. It appears at least for now that his employer has plenty of work for S and he will be getting more hours. I am glad I held back on bringing up getting another job.
I think next weekend we will set a time for S, H and me to go over our expectations for living in our house and also what we would like to see him do with his earnings. H is against charging rent. He feels as some parents on this board feel. This is S’s home and he is welcome here as long as he is respectful of the other occupants.
At this point I think we are all feeling that this time together is a blessing. We live in an expensive COL area. Few kids who grew up here have an opportunity to come “home” to live. S is lucky to have found a job in his major. It will hopefully be a year of gaining post-grad employment experience to add to his resume.
I will keep you posted.</p>
<p>^^^Nice! :)</p>
<p>That is great. </p>
<p>Sorry to be a damper, in your post you said you are going to discuss with your son about what to do with his earnings. Why? You have decided not to ask him to pay for rent, he is an adult with a real job now, what is there to discuss about his money?</p>
<p>Thankfully our ds had a job lined up a thousand miles away at graduation and he had time to line up an apartment in Orlando soon after graduation. He packed his Elanta up with all his clothes and few belongings and made the 1500 mile trip to his new digs after a few days pit stop at our house and connecting with friends still in town.</p>
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<p>Good point. You can give advice, but that’s it. </p>
<p>As part of your talk, I would ask him what he would like to see–so that it is more of a discussion, and not just you guys laying down the rules. On those Nanny 911 shows, the parents have some baseline rules, but the kids come up with most of the rules. These rules have the best chance of being followed. (Q: “What rules do you think need to exist for peaceful harmony in any home?” And then write those down so everyone remembers them.)</p>
<p>Discussion of earnings will be limited. Cost and payment of his car insurance. Student loan payment and building a 6 month loan payment cushion in his savings.</p>