<p>S2 graduated last summer. DH asked S2 every day how many jobs he had applied for that day. When he moved in w/ us we told him that his job was “to find a job”.</p>
<p>S2 got a p/t job within 3 weeks (applied on line to big box sporting goods store) and a fulltime job within 2-3 months.
S2 has been working full-time since last Sept. His job requires a lot of travel. He is away days, weeks, even months at the time so we don’t ask him to contribute to household bills. He pays cell ph. bill, truck insurance ,all gas and maintenance for truck, buys his clothes, toiletries, etc. pays/prepares for all his own food and does his own laundry. He’s easy to live with (when he’s there) and cheerfully helps out with any chores when needed.</p>
<p>DH is retiring next May. We will be moving across the state. We’ve told S2 he is welcome to live with us (while saving $$ to buy everything needed for life on his own) until we move. Some of his friends just graduated in May so he’s hoping to find a roommate among them and move out within the next 6 months.</p>
<p>to answer some questions. She has an econ degreee and good skills from some internships and jobs. Went to a top LAC. So education and skills/experience are not the problem. </p>
<p>She must have sensed my anxiety, perhaps when I looked her in the eye after dinner a few nights ago and said, “I really need you to look for a job.”</p>
<p>She changed her strategy and is looking more locally rather than nationally. And we will help her get through the dozens of jobs she identified that she is qualified for. </p>
<p>Thank you all for your comments. I have been trying to be supportive as I do understand this is a demoralizing process for her. But I think taking a step back and being less empathetic is a step in the right direction for me.</p>
<p>I have a coworker with a son that graduated with an MS in Econ from UIUC (he got his undergrad degree and then a funded MS) recently and he’s back home looking for work. I have another coworker with a son that has been looking for work for two years and is going to start an MS (social science major) this fall. He said that he’s had a hard time. No kidding.</p>
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<p>This is the case for a lot of students. It is a very hard environment.</p>
<p>Seconding what BCEagle91 and others have said: This job market is so, so tough. Our S has saved enough money now to move to his own apartment with his GF. We’re glad we gave him a roof over his head in the interim. We did not have a formal agreement, but he did household chores and maintenance, ran errands, did the grocery shopping, cooked (a lot), and spent as little of our money as possible. His contributions had a real dollar value to us. He also had a volunteer job for a while. How it goes depends on your relationship. We didn’t need rules about quiet, texting when he was going to be late, etc., because he does those things anyway. He did something every day related to his job hunt–with breaks to recover and regroup. It was almost harder when he actually started having interviews, because then the rejection felt more personal.</p>
<p>Signing up with a temp agency broke the stalemate. He got a full-time temporary job that kept getting renewed, and now he is on the payroll. The good: He got to prove himself in the organization and also confirm that it was a place he would like to work. The not-so-good: The hourly rate, which would have been very hard to live on. He got good intelligence about the best agencies from people on Reddit and chose one with a good placement record in temporary, “temp-to-hire,” and full-time jobs. This is not his dream job, but he’s interested in the field and is learning more about it and making contacts. </p>
<p>One unexpected benefit for us: We got to know his delightful GF because we saw her a lot–probably more than if he had lived somewhere else!</p>
<p>Oh my oh my I can identify. D2 graduated May '12 and did not get a job until Jan. '13. Unfortunately it is an internship that ends at the end of July. She had two other permanent job offers, one good (requiring a college degree) and one ok. But really wanted this internship. Once she comes home in August, it is time to set the rules. </p>
<p>S lives at home and has been for entirerly too long. He is 26 but he has issues. He is very much underemployed but H and I still insist he must cover all his own expenses (auto- everything, personal items, college loans) and pay rent to us. Additionally he has chores. He has to do his own laundry, mow the lawn, take care of the garbage and recycling, mostly take care of the cat. He is also covered by his employer for health, dental and eye insurance. He is also building a retirement account. So things could be worse. Knock on wood.</p>
<p>He recently said he is considering moving out with some friends because living at home is not good for him. He has looked into this before with other friends. I remind him that he is not making enough money and should look for another job. He has a degree in physics and math from a highly selective school after all. But he never looks.</p>
<p>S1 is planning to graduate soon, and has been living at home almost 2 years now, plus a year as a freshman. He does have a job that is likely to involve a promotion upon graduating, but despite saving and all that, he doesn’t have the cash flow to pay rent in our (college) town. So we decided that it was in everyone’s best interests to help pay his rent, instead. The job market is so ruthless and competitive, he could be here for years, on “hold” . So we saved, and he saved, and we have enough together for a year’s rent. And after that, we’ll have to hope things are better.But it’s ugly out there, for sure</p>
<p>Well, looks like we’re joining this trend although we we did see it coming for quite a while. DS graduated three years ago from an excellent school, got a well paying job in his field, moved across the country to his dream location, got laid off after a year (major company downsizing), and has finally run out of money and has no choice but to return home. The last hope was grad school but he just got denied by both schools in his area. </p>
<p>There are other issues that may have contributed to his inability to get another job, so we have a lot of things to help him work out. And based on his actions, he does not seem to be motivated to succeed in his career choice. So there are three major efforts needed: personal issues, long range career options, and immediate income/“affirmation”. As noted above, it’s been very demeaning to have nothing but negative experiences.</p>
<p>No idea how it will be having him home but agree he needs to be treated and behave differently than when in college. After living independently for three years, it will hard on all of us, I’m sure. Not to mention that this has completely derailed our relocation planning, which I thought we were finally going to act on this year. So I’m really really feeling down.</p>
<p>Our D just got her diploma mailed to her. She has two more weeks of loafing around our house before she returns to her apartment and tries to get a job or internship plus moves to a new place (lease ends in July). She really doesn’t know what she’ll be doing or where shell be living. She has many friends and contacts, so we are all sure she can land on her feet. This last term was very physically taxing and we are glad she’s had some breathing room. ;)</p>