<p>Sons graduated from college and grad schools, and everything was very businesslike. They went to large state schools. I have two degrees, and don’t recall every getting really excited about the graduation ceremony. Of course, my ceremonies were 100 years ago and my memory isn’t that good anymore.</p>
<p>Daughter is getting ready for graduation from her mid-size private university and it’s evidently a really, really, really big deal. She’s spent weekends hunting for the “perfect” graduation dress, has worried about getting “cords” to wear with her robe, and is busy planning decorations for her cap. I just got through an hour debate over whether she should wear taupe or white heels with a blue robe (kill me now, please). This is the first time she’s ever gotten so excited about anything like this, and I do want it to be a great day for her.</p>
<p>Her ceremony is around noon, with a department reception following. Her siblings are all coming in from out of town. I’m taking them all out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, and I’ll have my trusty camera.</p>
<p>I also will be giving her a pair of diamond studs as a graduation present. Her Dad and I bought them and put them away for her as a graduation gift many years ago. He died last year, so this is something that will have special meaning for her.</p>
<p>So what am I missing? Should we give her flowers before or after the ceremony? How can this day live up to her expectations? Any ideas? Thanks. She’s turned into an alien over this graduation, and I don’t speak alien very well.</p>
<p>I have asked her if there’s anything that she would like, but that’s the one thing she won’t talk about. She says she doesn’t want a big fuss at the same time that she’s making a big fuss about it.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like you’ll be fine. I think the main issue with graduations is the student is always being pulled between family and last goodbyes with college friends.</p>
<p>When in doubt, always buy flowers ! Mail her a graduation card with a sentimental message to arrive a couple days before graduation. Say “I love you” and “I am so proud of you” a million times on graduation day. Ask if she wants to get pictures with any of her friends, and be the camera person to take as many shots as she wants.</p>
<p>Flowers for after the ceremony is better than before. At DD’s school they had an arrangement with a florist so you could pre-order and they were there at the ceremony waiting for us to pick up. </p>
<p>I second the struggle between being with family and saying goodbye to friends. DD and friends arranged to meet at a significant spot on campus before the ceremony (actually the day before) and took tons of pictures in their graduation outfits and cap and gowns. It made graduation day a lot easier, and they were sure that the whole group would be in the pics. </p>
<p>Her group of friends planned reservations at a restaurant for the group and their families to have a big celebration dinner the night before graduation. The actual day of graduation, there is a lot of activity, including in some instances moving out of an apartment. Because of this, a lot of the “events” took place before the actual graduation.</p>
<p>I gave my daughter an orchid lei. She wore a black cap and gown and I gave the florist aqua and white sheer ribbon, (school colors), to tie in places around the lei. She loved it. She was able to wear it for graduation and at dinner. Cut flowers are nice, but in most cases the students have packed up and must leave the dorm in the morning. What a beautiful gift that you and your husband were able to choose together for her. I’m sure she will cherish it always. Congrats!</p>
<p>I have to dissent on the flowers. It’s a lovely idea, but just something extra to carry around and keep track of.
The diamond earrings sound like a lovely gift. Enjoy!</p>
<p>I second the idea of a Lei! Many girls at my son’s graduation were wearing them all graduation day- a Florist was able to make them up in school colors! </p>
<p>I made my sons a photo book (used those on-line services) of all the pics I could gather from their 4 years including stock photos of the campus and college town. And yes, I raided their FB pages and their friends FB pages to pull it together. I also gave them a framed picture of their total registration billing ledger showing all four years just to remind them I figured that was more memorable than framing the diplomas.</p>
<p>I ordered son maile lei for all his graduations to wear during graduation. Very nice, fewer in the crowd and my favorite from my college job days. They can also be dried and saved so you don’t have to worry so much about damaging. </p>
<p>I think you are all set to make it a perfect day. Having you and her siblings there to share her joy is the most important thing. A thoughtful gift that her dad helped to pick out and a lovely dinner will be icing on top of the cake. </p>
<p>I don’t think flowers are necessary. You likely won’t even see her before the graduation ceremony (they usually have the kids line up early). If you know you will see her before, maybe consider a wrist corsage instead of flowers so she can wear it instead of carrying it around.</p>
<p>Just be prepared for her to have a jumble of emotions that day. I know my S appreciated it when we didn’t rush him…we waited patiently and gave him all the time he wanted to take photos with his favorite professor. talk to friends etc as he left the degree ceremony. </p>
<p>And over the summer he sent me a bunch of his pictures (from facebook etc.) and I put together an album of his college years (same idea as momofthreeboys) which I catch him going through once in a while. </p>
<p>Great suggestions. I hadn’t thought of the lei or wrist corsage (maybe in school colors). I’ll also definitely try not to rush her that day so she can enjoy the gathering with professors and friends from school. My other kids didn’t have separate certificate ceremonies for their schools, so this is also something new to me. I was thinking this was a daughter thing, so it’s nice to hear that some sons really get into graduations too. </p>
<p>I’ve only recently became aware of the flowers tradition. I hope our daughter will not feel slighted if we don’t give some to her. It’s such a hassle finding them, then carrying them to the ceremony and shoving them under the chair to keep them safe. After they are presented, she would need to hold them AND her degree for the many pictures we plan to take, and I’m not sure how that would work. Plus, by that time she will have already moved out of her dorm, and won’t be able to find a vase, let alone a place to put the flowers. And then we travel home, and presumably, they won’t travel well. I guess I’m just to practical for that tradition. But I also worry that she will feel slighted. Probably not, but still…</p>
<p>At any rate, it’s interesting to me to see how many parents are planning on presenting flowers.</p>
<p>D’s university sold the flowers with the proceeds going to domestic violence. We picked them up at the ceremony. We have a picture of her in the car after the ceremony with her flowers. Her expression of pure joy is one of my favorite pictures of her. </p>
<p>My daughter (who was at a big state U in California) got very excited about her graduation. Her degree was in math and she and her other “math friends” decorated their caps to spell out “I love math” (but the I was the square root of -1, the “love” was a heart, the m was a Mu, the a an infinity sign, etc…). We bought her a lei at a local florist. Definitely a lot of girls (and some guys) wore them. At her school the Alumni Association sold flowers and leis by the site of the graduation. I have noticed with all things, my daughter gets much more excited about things than my boys do. </p>
<p>I don’t remember seeing anyone with flowers at S’s graduation. Although one would think that there must have been a few, afterwards, they definitely would not be carrying them during the ceremony. If I were you, I would consider seeing if there is any video or photos of last year’s ceremony on the college website.</p>
<p>Heels? Is this graduation outdoors on grass? If so, I’d suggest wedges if she wants a heel! And then there is always the issue of potentially sweltering under the robe…or being rained on…or freezing. :)</p>
<p>Oh, man, my son should be so thankful right now he’s not a girl. He’s fed up with me insisting he wears his honor cords. Can you imagine if we were worrying about shoes? That reminds me, I’ve got to get a new purse for the graduation. Need one big enough to put the program in!</p>
<p>Be sure to make your dinner reservations well in advance. Restaurants will be very crowded! The smaller liberal arts schools make a real occasion out of graduation. After all, it IS a cause to celebrate! DS’s school makes a weekend out of the affair–hosting gatherings, receptions, etc. A couple of his major professors also hosted receptions. Graduation at his school was Sunday morning and was the culmination of a great weekend. </p>
<p>One thought: Consider getting together with the families of some of her besties–maybe lunch or drinks the day before? Our son’s group had a back yard luncheon for the families the day before and it was a delightful time! And, all the pictures of the entire weekend are special to him—so, snap away.</p>
<p>How sweet. It is cute that your daughter is so excited and nervous! My grandparents brought me flowers to give to me after my ceremony, that was very nice-- not a hassle for me since I didn’t get them until we were walking out the door to go home, may have been a hassle for them but it was a pleasant surprise for me. I’d moved out of my dorm the week before. I didn’t see any corsages or leis at my graduation, but I can’t have seen the whole crowd. It sounds like you have your bases covered. We went out to dinner with all who attended the ceremony that day, and had a small barbecue the next weekend for all the close family and some of my friends-- my grandparents, my two aunts, a couple of my cousins, and maybe 5 friends came. My gift was the barbecue. I was happy. I think your D will be thrilled with what you have planned. </p>
<p>My graduation ceremony was the very end of April in MI. It was warm by then so I picked a sleeveless short dress and sandals to wear under my gown, which was more or less what everyone else was wearing, too. We FROZE, we had to stand outside for hours and with the ceremony being at 10am it was not nearly warm enough yet-- beautiful later in the day, the couple hours I had to stand outside the stadium that morning FRIGID. I was glad for flat sandals because I had to walk up and down the bleachers at Michigan Stadium, but lots of girls were happy in heels. If I could do it again, I would have worn a sweater over the dress-- nobody sees what’s underneath anyway.</p>
I figured that was more memorable than framing the diplomas.</p>