D20 is graduating this May and I’m trying to figure out a good graduation gift. Hoping to hear what experienced parents decided to give. Looking for something to commemorate the occasion long term, not just cash (though I’m sure she wouldn’t argue with getting cash, lol).
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Silly me, I thought that graduating debt free was enough of a gift, in and of itself. Apparently, my parents felt the same way.
I would have wanted a car, or money for an adventure trip abroad. But I didn’t expect anything, and that’s exactly what I got, although I did get an Ivy league diploma, with no debt.
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We’ve already given that gift (graduating debt free). 
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I gave my kids a token gift and $400. I honestly didn’t feel the need to do more than that because we paid for their education, but we wanted them to have a little something to use as they wished.
My D graduated in 2020. I got her a pair of earrings at CVS. Nowhere else was open. She still wears them all the time. When S graduated earlier this year, I didn’t want to do more for him than we had done for her. I got him some nice but inexpensive coasters, which he is now using at the apartment he just moved into a couple of weeks ago.
I think a meaningful token gift is good.
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We gave our son a nice watch.
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We helped fund their Roth IRA.
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A trip.
And I made a photo book of her college years.
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I’m paying my son’s expenses for a year sans rent/utilities - so that he can start out and feel successful. He pays the rent/utilities.
We went on a cruise too right from graduation but would have anyway. With his grandfather.
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Nicely framed diploma and graduation photo.
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Also on the debt free college is the best gift band wagon. 
But we did a fancy dinner and tickets to a show to celebrate! An experience gift could be good!
I will also say, my college graduate this spring didn’t have a job yet when he graduated. We helped him financially for a bit while he was going through application and interview processes. He ended up getting a fantastic highly competitive job for $$$$. BUT that period of time and transition, was not cheap. Moving, setting up to a new apartment, new car, kitchen gadgets, thrifted furniture, cosign, many trips to ikea, etc. He did pay us back for some of that (car downpayment), but it was also nice not to be trying to chase him around for every penny we spent during those months.
Similar needs could come into play for a student transitioning to grad school in a new location. The grad is considering that for later. Nice to have some budget to play with during these big life transition for young adults.
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No advice here, but I would avoid giving anything electronic as technology becomes obsolete so quickly, and it’d be nice to have a physical momento more than 5 years down the road (being generous to much of today’s technology).
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I’ll be facing the same situation in a couple of years but here’s some thoughts on what I’ve seen others have done that I consider good idea’s.
1 - nothing, the graduation debt free is a VERY REAL gift. Do a nice dinner after commencement.
2 - 6 months (or other timeframe), rent. Kid is likely going to need first/last etc and that can be a tough hurdle for someone coming out of school and getting themselves established.
3 - Family vacation - and this is probably more selfish than anything but affords the opportunity to spend some QT with your kid before they fully break out onto their own.
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Can you clarify what it means to take care of every expense wise other than rent/utilities?
Does that mean:
car payment/gas money
groceries/eating out
vacations
insurance
retirement funding
phone (or is that considered utility)
clothing
or does it mean more or less than that list? Just trying to wrap my head around this gift (which is incredibly generous!).
Besides a debt free education, we paid for two international trips in D19’s grad year…one spring break and one immediately after graduation.
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Well my kids did not have a debt free education, so they are given free housing here for as long as they need it, Heath insurance and medical bills paid (even if their employer offers health insurance), remaining on our cellphone plan ($40 a month), and apparently an EZPass for their cars (my 27 and 25 year olds got their own car insurance a few years ago). Ds16 will go off of our health insurance in April when he turns 26.
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My daughter also didn’t graduate debt free from undergrad but didn’t add anything to it in grad school. She got $100 to buy Global Entry as she does travel a lot. She’ll also get $3000 from my Americorps account to pay toward her student loan.
For Christmas I gave her a fireproof box (sort of the size of a banker’s box) and surprisingly she really liked it. She was moving and immediately put all her valuable documents in it like her thesis draft, diplomas, car documents and felt much safer driving across the country that she could just grab the one box and take it into the hotel (she is sort of a slob and these documents would have been all over her car trunk otherwise).
We’re sort of having a rough year and a busy year with some medical problems for me, 2 weddings (hers and her cousins), she already has a trip planned to see Taylor Swift,but I can see us taking a trip in 2025.
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This is what we are doing for S24’s high school graduation “gift”, and it is 100% selfish, and I do not care. S24 obviously knows what is going on but is apparently cool with it (or resigned to it, or whatever–did I mention I did not particularly care?).
We’ll probably at least try to pull off the same trick for college graduation.
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My kid pays for his rent and I think the utilities are coming through the apartment…they all seem to use this company called CONSERVICE.
He’s always been on my CC. My wife told him we’d pay half for six months - but I told her let’s pay it all. He (my son) is very responsible…unlike my other who isn’t. Texts my wife each charge so we have the right amount.
Car payment - yes - but I lease through my company (a car company) so I get the bill anyway. He wanted to buy one a few years back but in my case, under $400 a month for a new car…and no maintenance, etc. - it’s just too good a deal. Insurance i pay too…he can’t be insured because i’m the lessee.
Groceries - yes. He rarely eats out but I encourage him to.
Vacations - he goes with us - but he lived in Utah for the last six months - every day was a vacation. I bought him the epic ski pass which he used 12 times b4 leaving.
Retirement - he has a 5% 401k match - so the company helps there…and a Defined Contribution. Who knows today if any kid will actually see that - they all leave so quick.
Phone - yes
Clothing - he needs to shop - but yes. I’m moving him to Phoenix now - he owns nothing.
So:
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I can afford it
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He saved me so much on college, etc - and while I’m not going to fund him forever, he has some money in the bank, complains about taxes (who doesn’t) and I just want him to see that he’ll be rewarded.
I’ll likely start a Roth Ira for both kids next year with oversave from the 529 too.
Not everyone can afford to do what I do and my son is very responsible. I’ll have to do similar for my daughter I suppose but if it was her, I wouldn’t…because she’s not yet learned to be responsible financially although she works, etc. but with my money …not.
As for people who say building credit is necessary - it likely depends on the family and kid. For me, it’s bs. He gets regular offers for the $700 AMEX credit card and just leased his apartment (he moves each six month) - and no co signer was required. I always thought the building credit thing was a hoax for someone who came from a means that they were never in debt.
Anyway, we’ll see after six months - but all my kid pays for now is rent and whatever they charge him. He did tell me he’s VENMO’d some kids (they split bills) $400 over six months but didn’t ask for it.
And I wasn’t including retirement…basically car, phone (we are all on a plan via my sister as she worked for a cell company), and anything that can be charged on a credit card.
I suppose I cover his health insurance too - because they stay on til 26.
He’s got some coin, afraid to put in the market as he’s lost some (although the 401k handles that), has some short term CDs…and that’ll generate him some “cash flow” to learn about…and we’ll see in June where he is.
But each person is individual and not everyone can afford to do the same things, etc. but yes, I’m helping then more would or differently at least but for my situation it works. I lived alone after school, got help, then had to move home and lived off dad a few years - and it’s worked out well I think - and that’s likely part of the mindset I’ve used.
Thanks
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We gave our son a nice watch. Not Rolex nice, but something a little dressier he could wear to work.
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Education paid for (no student loans at all) and Cartier watch engraved
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