Yes, everything about this process is daunting, and your D is likely feeling that, as well as thinking that this is so far in the future. I think she sounds interested in pursuing this, just not ready to face all of the details of this college stuff yet. That seems completely normal to me!
I gently asked my D early fall of her junior year if she wanted me to research programs for her since there are so many. She was glad to have me do it even though she loves to research as much as I do and she was excited about it. She was busy, overwhelmed just thinking of it all, and, like me, can procrastinate when she’s overwhelmed, and so it was easy for her to allow me to do the bulk of the initial research. She did like discussing things with me, hearing what I was discovering, and talking to professionals she knows about it all in that early stage (early fall of junior year). Early fall of junior year is different from summer, though; this is summer break, after all! And, she’ll be in “school mode” in little bit, which, for junior year, means college gradually starts to become a bit more real. Plus, just a few months makes a big difference in one’s perspective at that age.
D (with me alongside her) created a list of important criterion to her such as: professional faculty (and, yes, I looked at websites to check this–and then D did, too, later in the process, for schools she thought she wanted on her list), opportunities for professional contacts (showcases, master classes, connections to professional theatres), cost, chances of scholarships/financial aid, gen ed requirements, and details of training in acting, singing, dancing. There were more categories, but I forget them at the moment. (Unbelievable. I thought I would never forget a thing from this process, and we just finished it, lol!) You can do this on your own if you’d like; those categories would probably be pretty much the same for everyone. We printed out copies of her list, one per school, and I filled them out as I researched. It was super time consuming, but I enjoyed it. I don’t sleep well sometimes, so I did a lot of it in the middle of the night. I seriously researched over 60 places–some more than others. My D wouldn’t have had time to do that, and, even though she was excited and committed to theatre and the future (as it sounds your D is), I think she would’ve been overwhelmed. Some were easy to strike off the list; D only wanted a BFA, or a BA that resembled a BFA. So, those that didn’t fit that basic requirement didn’t even have a sheet. I just wrote those programs’ names on a sheet of paper so we remembered we had “researched” them. Same with any program we thought wasn’t what she was looking for. (We were glad to have that paper later. With so many programs, it was easy to forget which she had already crossed off her list.) When I finished the criterion sheets, D would look at them, and she started to really pinpoint even more what she wanted and create her list of schools. Later, she further looked into the ones that interested her based on my research.
I act as D’s guidance counselor since she was homeschooled, so I handled all of those responsibilities, as well. D was great about communicating with schools to check on things, but that was senior year. She filled in all of her applications, wrote the many essays (at times with nagging from me even though she’s a great writer–it was so much and seemed never-ending to her sometimes), asked opinions of professionals she knows, did the scheduling when it was time (with some assistance from me–I created a calendar with all possible audition dates, and we went from there together), and, of course, focused on everything artistic. It was a lot for both of us, but we enjoyed it for the most part. I do, however, remember that the whole process was daunting for her summer/early fall of senior year, and I tried to approach her as a helper and facilitator instead of a pusher.
This was definitely a two-person job (and three-person when we traveled–my husband joined us and made travel arrangements)! (I know some students have to do this mostly on their own, and that’s impressive!) Your D will appreciate your help, if not now, in the future. If she seems to resent it, just back off in front of her, but keep quietly reading and researching. I bet she will reach a point when she’s ready, and, then, she’ll be eager to have conversations with you about it and all you’ve discovered. If nothing else, researching on your own will help you be prepared and feel like you have some sort of control over this process!