During her freshman year in college, it became clear to us that D19’s boyfriend was also her closest friend, and it was natural that we would meet him when we visited. Now, they have been to each other’s houses multiple times, and he spent six weeks living with us when they went virtual for fall semester. It was like having another kid (a super helpful, polite kid who didn’t fight with his siblings). I loved it.
I actually had the opposite experience from @Mjkacmom, who was close to her kids’ same sex friends in high school, and those were the relationships that lasted, not their SO’s. D21 had very close friends since kindergarten who grew up in and out of each other’s houses and bonded with each other’s families (small town). They went different ways in high school and are no longer friends, which broke my heart along with D21’s. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, who also did many things with our family and vice versa, is still very much in her life, and I think they will remain friends if they break up.
My general philosophy is to be welcoming to all friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, and invite them whenever and to whatever my child wants. I did not send gifts until I met them, and then it has been mostly shared experiences, like tickets for a show, or a weekend at the beach. As for meeting the parents, we did when the kids set it up. It was fun, not awkward, but I think we must have lucked out with the personalities!