We just told our kids we loved them as themselves. We’d only be disappointed if they were illegal drug dealers, pimps, or terrorists of any sort.
Then we taught them that their bodies would clue them in as they grew up and not to take anyone’s word about anything they “should” be. They’re the only ones who will truly know. But we did all this well before high school. By middle school kids are already labeling each other based upon what they “think” unfortunately.