Not out of state but 3 hours away (fwiw several OOS colleges would be closer to home than the 3 hours in-state). As others have said, we let her lead. She dated a boy for 8 months, from another college in the neighboring town to hers. She liked him but never felt it was going anywhere serious enough to warrant us meeting him. She was right. Her next boyfriend (turned future husband, come this October), we met after 2 months. She brought him home for the weekend so they could go to an NFL game in our city. She actually waited for me to come home from being away for the weekend, so I could be sure to meet him. This told me it was serious - and it was!
As far as gifts, again I let her tell me when it reaches a stage that gifts are appropriate. For college-aged kids (and older) I don’t find it necessary to meet the parents until there is an engagement, unless it can be done naturally - like in the case of my daughter, when she graduated from college and invited his parents to a large friend group grad party.