When we dropped DS off freshman year, we were prepared for it to be hard because everyone had warned us. But nobody told us that it’d be so hard to say good-bye each and every time after that, and it was because I came to realize he was spinning further and further out of our orbit each time.
He came home for a local internship after freshman year, and that was the last summer we spent together. I kept reassuring myself that we’d raised him to be independent and that he was succeeding on that front. But it didn’t make me miss him any less!
He has now graduated and does not live nearby. But amazingly, we are probably closer than we’ve ever been. We have a relationship between adults. He knows we care immensely and will always have his back. And he doesn’t have to fight for his independence from us (and even asks us for advice!)
This is the heartbreaking side of parenting well. Remember that he doesn’t love you less and will appreciate that you are seeing him as he sees himself-- as a young adult.
Sending hugs…