<p>cherryhillmomto2 - I haven’t read through all of this thread, so I don’t know the origin of the red tape concerns for AU. But I will pass on that my son, who graduated from AU in 2009 never complained to us of any such issues. He had no problems getting the classes he wanted and although he was in a forced triple as a frosh, he was able to get into his first choice dorms thereafter.</p>
<p>mdcissp - no worries about the care pkg thing - we’re actually going to visit S1 in a few weeks and also take S2 to see Elon at the same time - so I’m just going to bring lots of stuff with me to assuage my guilt!</p>
<p>holliesue - yes those questions are so annoying. S2 does not get it much yet as a junior - it’s easy for him to say he has no idea and mean it! The worst for us was 2 years ago when we went to Florida for winter break just after S1 had been deferred by his dream ED school - college was the LAST thing he wanted to discuss and everywhere we went he was interrogated by m-i-l’s friends and additional relatives. It was not a good week.</p>
<p>Yabeyabe - you are so right about the connection between affluence and the college competition. I have to remind myself that the majority of the country does not really do this - kids go to 1 of 2-3 in-state options and it’s just not a big deal. Here, it’s a competitive sport!</p>
<p>I’ve had a joke for years. Whenever I met up with a HS senior I’d say, “Good to see you! I’m NOT going to ask you anything about college!” The relief on their face is palpable.
The only thing that really floors me is the idea that anyone would ask a kid their SAT scores. Incredible. Too bad it’s rude to reply, “I’ll tell you in a minute–first, what do you weigh?”</p>
1 Like
<p>AcsinGa- love your strategy, I’ll have to clue D in for when someone asks next!
One of my good friends when she saw my daughter told her that she would not ask her about college, my D was very appreciative!</p>
<p>I will definitely be more careful now about initiating any conversation about college with any student or parent!</p>
<p>I can’t decide which aspect of ACS’s strategy I like more–what she says to the kids or what she wishes we could day to nosy parents! </p>
<p>In very affluent communities, I find that many of the people became affluent by being hyprcompetitive and it carries over to every aspect of their lives, from car buying to T ball. A lot of parents who tightly watch expenses in order to be able to afford a home in a highly rated school district (which is almost always a highly affluent town) find themselves very unhappy.</p>
<p>“did anyone else at temple/break fast yesterday get sick to death of all the people asking where their S/D was going to go to college next year?”…</p>
<p>hahahahahahahaha…wish I could post what happened to us…let’s just say, we departed early from our break-fast…</p>
<p>wish we could hibernate til January…</p>
<p>yabeyabe2-I guess I am lucky that I am neither affluent or live in an affluent area. There really is not much discussion among parents/student in my d’s school about colleges, college selection etc. It is rare for a kid from our area to go to a highly ranked school or IVY school (other than nearby Cornell). It does happen once in awhile, but most kids tend to go to SUNYs or regional colleges (highest ranked probably being Colgate).
However, when I was at temple yesterday in nearby Binghamton, it was a much different story…more kids expected to go to higher ranked school, lots of college talk etc. Took me by surprise I have to say! So now I am better prepared and will have d better prepared with stock answer to give.
I loved Acsin Ga’s suggestion to ask about their weight if they ask for D’s SAT scores! Not any ruder…ha ha!</p>
<p>About the red tape at AU–
so far S doesn’t feel there is an abundance of it…he said it’s no different than his friends at LACs or some larger schools.</p>
<p>Other than the multitudinous posts by a poster named Cadmiumred on the AU board, I haven’t heard many complaints about red tape at AU.
And I wonder how much of the redtape cadmiumred encountered was either fabricated or of her own making…if you ever have a lot of empty time and need some entertainment, read her posts!</p>
<p>I thought that our family was past all the “where is S applying” stage…but now it’s all about where S2 is applying for grad school (such a different scenario) and when S1 and DIL will start their family! It’s as annoying as ever…I was about to ask one busybody who was weighing in on when S1 and DIL should start “trying” when her son was going to move off her basement couch and get a job/get a wife!</p>
<p>But I restrained myself…</p>
<p>We got a lot of questions this year, but ShawD’s decision to only apply to Canadian schools made life very easy. First, they want to know why, which has a good answer. Then, most Notheasterners only know McGill. So she could explain about the schools she likes and why and they can’t really say much. So, she got to sound thoughtful and poised and didn’t appear to get awkward questions (no second-guessing).</p>
<p>The Baltimore Jewish Times has a long article about Jewish life on campus this week. There isn’t too much information that the regulars on this thread aren’t aware of. It does talk a lot about how Muhlenberg has increased their number of Jewish students. Hillel is now the largest student organization on campus. Both Muhlenberg and Franklin and Marshall recently introduced kosher meal plans. The article also features UMCP, which not only has a large Jewish population, but also has one of the largest groups of Orthodox students on campus. Most of the Orthodox students are OOS.</p>
<p>boysx3 - re the red tape at AU - believe me - I would not arrive at that concern based solely on the posts from cadmiumred - I have seen it a few places. For example, it you go to the C<em>O</em>L<em>L</em>G<em>E P</em>R<em>O</em>W<em>L</em>E*R review of American - under the section where they list the best and worst - the #1 worst thing is red tape. It just seems like something I have read a few times - not saying it does not occur at other schools as well.</p>
<p>momjr - would you mind linking the article you mentioned? I looked at the website and could not find it - was it in the print editions only? Speaking of Muhlenberg - planning to visit in the spring. They are building a new Hillel and it looks to be quite impressive.</p>
<p>Chmom,
I believe Uskoolfish is right on all 3 schools from recent attendees I know.</p>
<p>Re RU, your school should have a lot of current students there–can you get feedback from them? What I have heard is mostly positive, but includes references to large classes and the pain of needing buses to get around campus. New Brunswick as a city offers much more than rural Binghamton, UConn or Penn State; that should be a positive. You might also to share some of the savings with him.</p>
<p>RM: I couldn’t find the article Jewish Times article online either. It was in the print edition. Muhlenberg does sound like a great choice for a kid looking for a lot of Jewish options on campus. I know that you are also interested in College of Charleston. They sent my daughter an email about Jewish life on campus. They are obviously interested in recruiting more Jewish students.</p>
<p>We visited CofC and spent a Shabbat (dinner, services, Q&A…) in their Hillel. Great group of kids. Friendly and not judgmental toward my more secular d. Definitely a school worth checking out for a Jewish kid looking for a Jewish presence on campus.</p>
<p>Can you please tell us more about your over all impressions of C of Charleston? (academics, dorms, food, surrounding neighborhood). Thanks so much.</p>
<p>My d and I visited twice. We were serious about this school. The surrounding neighborhood is perfect. My d wanted an urban environment and CofC is located in the perfect area. It is part of a very hip neighborhood a few blocks from the water. A multitude of restaurants, bars, nice stores. Even beautiful old synagogue (apart from Hillel).Everything in walking distance. And lots of green on campus.
Dorms: Several kinds. Suite style and traditional. Many of them are like motels with a catwalk. All are fine. Same with food. Wasn’t focusing on the food so much. They sponsored a Southern BBQ and it was alot of fun. I recall Hillel had lots of kosher food open to the kids. Also Hillel open all the time for TV watching, socializing, studying.
Academics: I think it is perfect for the B student. Business dept gave an impressive presentaton.
Miscellaneous: When push came to shove, d felt that it was too “Southern.” Not completely sure what that means. It may have to do with so many kids coming from the South since it is a state school and attracts many kids, not only from SC but other southern states. She felt just a bit out of place there, with her more funky clothes and NY sensibility.
But that was just MY kid. It is absolutely worth looking at. I met plenty of nice parents there too–at the Hillel events especially.</p>
<p>Here’s an “after” story for anyone who is interested. I’m telling it because I know people with HS kids on CC like to hear about college life and beyond, and I know on this thread people are curious how kids take their faith with them to school and how they find ways to live within it. So read if you are interested:</p>
<p>My D1, now a college senior at Tufts, was raised in a mixed family and learned about both religions with the freedom to choose, and she chose Judaism. She went through Jewish Sunday school and had a Bat Mitzvah, chose not to go through Confirmation nor to continue Midrasha/Hebrew HS. We lived in a small town with virtually no Jewish kids, and she tired of being the token “authority” on Judaism, and her observances were pretty much reduced to High Holy Days and a one-night seder by the time she graduated HS.</p>
<p>She was very glad to go to a college with a high percentage of Jewish students, very happy not to be the “token” any more. Yet she did not take part in any of the Jewish activities for the first few years; she found it difficult to juggle the holidays and be focused on Shabbat even when the Hillel was a few steps from her dorm and she had many Jewish friends going to their events. Instead she took a personal approach to RH and YK (mostly just fasting on the latter), and that was about it. She decided the best way for her to live within her faith was to eat kosher, and to keep her own personal way to connect with her faith.</p>
<p>Now in her last year, she is living in a house and happens to have 2 Jewish housemates. They already have had lovely “family” dinners on the High Holy Days and now she and one of her Jewish friends intend to take a Jewish studies course offered through Hillel. She says that as she moves on from college, she plans to live a more structured observant Jewish life, and that is very exciting to her.</p>
<p>While she’s taken a somewhat curvy path, my point is that she has found what she needs when she needed it, keep her faith inside through it all, and been true to herself. It is wonderful that she has Jewish friends and a community there when she has been ready for it. But how she’s used those resources has been based on what felt important to her at the time.</p>
<p>I am not a particularly religiously observant Jew, but am strongly identified with my heritage. I have told my girls that high school and college are probably the hardest times in one’s life to follow the Jewish holiday year - so many conflicts in schedule, and so many challenges to your dedication. For myself, I wouldn’t dictate to them how to handle this; we always talked about alternative ways to find meaning and be observant and true to your faith. It helps to be at a college where they don’t schedule exams, etc. on holidays and where access to services at least exists - that’s a big improvement on their experience in HS. I’m pretty sure my D2 will have more Jewish peers and more activities and services available when she goes to college, too.</p>
<p>I don’t really know why my D1 still didn’t throw herself into those activities from the start. She said that in practical ways it was too hard, that being observant in her own way worked better for her - that eating kosher was a way to live in her faith every day, instead of having to worry about a calendar and remember the special days. She didn’t go looking for Jewish friends; I know she met many Jewish kids (Tufts is at least 30% Jewish) and that meant a lot to her, regardless of whether they did “Jewish” things together.</p>
<p>I don’t know if she’d be as active now without the Jewish housemates; maybe even in a house full of non-Jews she’d be excited about being able to cook them a RH dinner on her own. But it surely isn’t peer influence that’s taking her to the class at Hillel. I think she’s just finally getting to the end of 8 years of a schedule that’s beyond her control, that’s not based on one’s having an individual life, and she’s ready to take charge of having broader observant Jewish experience.</p>
<p>I imagine there are parents who would be more disappointed than I was in her “lack” of observance in college, or perhaps afraid that she was becoming “less Jewish.” But my personal feeling is that everyone has to follow their own beliefs and needs. In general all I’d say is to remember that there isn’t always a straight trajectory in these things; if your child gets to college and gets really involved in something else - sports, social activities, political activities, or even “just” their academics - and seems to be “forgetting” to be Jewish, please try to be patient. Anything can happen - yes, they may change their faith, or it may become stronger, or both, as they evolve as adults. </p>
<p>What I’ve found exciting is seeing her take charge of how she lives, find out who she is, and follow that wherever it leads. I wish only the same for my second D, and for all of these wonderful kids.</p>
<p>In case anyone is curious, she does have a boyfriend - he is from our hometown, is not Jewish, but respects her faith enormously. They have discussed religion, and even how they would raise kids if that ever happens, and he would fully accept raising them Jewish if that is what my D wants.</p>
<p>EmmyBet - what a wonderful post! I agree with you so much that it is not necessarily going to be a straight line trajectory and also that we need to let our kids find their faith their own way. You can’t force religion down your kids’ throats - that just backfires. Really a lovely story - thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>Emmy-Thanks for that insightful post.</p>
<p>FYI for those considering CofC, my s’s morning class was canceled for RH. Prof and third of the students are Jewish! Probably not typical of all classes but my son was happy and amazed. Like Emmybet’s child, he was used to being the token in high school.</p>