<p>This thread moves so fast, and with such great info! PRJ, I’d love to think we had seen your D at Brandeis (she could have helped my D last night as she tried to tie her scarf ‘the way they did at Brandeis’). And Yabeyabe, NYC’s wealth of theater is counterbalanced by the expense and effort of city life-- though NYU is definitely on the list.</p>
<p>RTR - so great to see you post on this thread! I do like hearing anecdotal accounts - particularly if a kid is transferring out - I find it interesting to hear where they are leaving and why. And I agree - it’s the unhappiest ones who are actually transferring that you hear more about - the ones who are just so-so - perhaps not as much.</p>
<p>My older son is at Wake Forest (reachy for a B student - but possible ED) and while he loves it - I do know of 2 Jewish students who have either transferred out or are considering it. For the reasons you would expect - not very many Jewish kids - too small - too conservative. These were the reservations I had when S1 applied to Wake - but it has been great for him - so you just never know.</p>
<p>But - it’s good to know the cons of a particular school - not that it should discourage a student from applying - but at least do it with all the info you need.</p>
<p>Gwen, NYC life certainly has its effort and expense (I lived there for 11 years), but it is much less so for a student. Although NYU is expensive (as is GW), the schools in the NYC suburbs are not much more expensive than other schools in suburbs of big cities (Goucher; American; St. Joe).</p>
<p>The effort of city life for a student may actually be less than in the suburbs–you never need a care and incredible amounts of activities are right there.</p>
<p>RTR, perhaps I was struck by the number of unhappy kids because, for whatever reason, I have not yet heard of any unhappy kids from our town. This does not mean there aren’t unhappy kids; they just haven’t come to our or our son’s attention yet.</p>
<p>^^My son has not come across any unhappy kids from his hs graduating class yet either. OTOH, my son has not been home to see them in person yet. His communication is via FB, texts, and some Skyping. I suppose we will hear more about everyone’s first semester in December.</p>
<p>Most of the kids we know from our HS’s class of '10 are very happy, but a few are already considering transferring. I’ve heard of two kids who are already back at home. The kids who are unhappy usually mention culture shock and distance from home as issues. Many of the kids who go South to state schools are uncomfortable. We live in a very diverse, accepting community. On the other hand, several kids from our area are very happy at southern schools like USC, Alabama Elon and Vanderbilt.</p>
<p>I think that it’s really important to prepare help prepare your kids to go away. I think that Jewish kids are generally pretty well prepared because they tend to go to sleep away camps or youth group conventions. Both of my daughters attended short summer programs at colleges that interested them the summer after junior year. It gave them a chance to live on campus and helped them figure out what type of school they wanted. It also forced them to get outside of their comfort zone and make new friends without the comfort of their usual posse. I highly recommend that parents of sophomores and juniors consider this for next summer. The programs vary in length, content and price. My older daughter attended a one week journalism program and UMCP, and my youger daughter attended the two week Summer Challenge program at BU.</p>
<p>Regarding going to school in NYC although this may be dated information, If the kiddo is comfortable with mass transit and enjoys, theater, museums, great food etc it cannot be beat. As a parent who grew up in the city I however worried about my rural kids having any kind of street smarts. Awareness of who is around you and protecting your property was routine to me when I was growing up and at school. One of the amazing things about when I was at school, possibly because I was going into a health profession at a school which had a a medical school was that theater tickets including Broadway were available for almost nothing. The seats were often expensive ones that didn’t sell like 3rd row all the way to one side. As a college student I didn’t mind at all. It was a great experience. I wonder if NY’s theater colleges have this available. How awesome would that be?</p>
<p>many broadway shows offer student rush tickets – varies by show as to how much they cost and how many hours prior to the show they are available.</p>
<p>NYU has Ticket Central where it offers specials to students. An advantage of being a student in NYC is that you have a built-in social network to go to all these wonderful things – when you’re on your own in the city working at a job after college, it is not always so easy to find people to do things with, unless you either have an active alumni network or are in a job filled with other people your age.</p>
<p>Momjr, what sort of issues have come up at the Southern schools?</p>
<p>Re NYC, a very favorable Campusvibe report was just posted on Fordham’s NYC campus, which get much less press than NYU’s. All college kids are eligible for very cheap seats for shows and many other events through TDF (the TKTS people). </p>
<p>I think NYC in the postGiuliani era is perfectly fine for rural kids–after all, thousands of kids from rural parts of foreign countries are there every day as tourists or students.</p>
<p>The issues at Southern schools have varied by kid. Most of the kids are not Jewish, so that’s not the issue. I think that the kids in mind have felt like outsiders. They were used to the the bubble that they grew up in, and things felt different. Many other kids have adjusted very well, so these kids may not have been ready to go to school so far from home. It can
be hard to break in socially at OOS publics where the in-state kids already have friends.</p>
<p>We just had dinner over the weekend with another couple whose S in now a freshman at Syracuse. Since my S is now applying to colleges, I asked how many colleges did your S apply to? The wife said “10”. I said, how did he manage all the apps? She said they found someone to organize the S and paid her to help him fill out the apps!!! WHAT is that all about? Sounds like wedding or bar mitzvah planners! Do all you people hire others to do the organizing or do you do it yourselves? I was a bit shocked and probably pretty naive, it never occured to me to pay someone…although we did pay to have S go to an SAT class, wow…can colleges tell which have been helped by a professional?</p>
<p>I don’t want to second-guess my son’s essays, but you can definitely tell they were written by a teenager…even though he wrote very well…</p>
<p>There are college consultants active in NJ and other areas, many very high-priced. Many parents feel they are letting their children down if they do not spend on anything which is available. Others want to outsource everything, lest they have to do it or their child be distracted from their crucially important other activities.</p>
<p>Next will be the consultants who stop by your kid’s dorm room, organize it, help him or her pick classes and help them cheat on papers and exams.</p>
<p>I’ll take another stab at the above; many parents that we know want to remove themselves from the day to day of the college applications to maintain some sort of decorum in their houses…mostly parents of girls by the way…if an outside party imposes deadlines etc, it is sometimes easier to get stuff done…mind you, not for thousands of dollars necessarily but for a little nudge…</p>
<p>just a little different perspective…we like to pick our battles</p>
<p>I tend to think of organizing and cattle driving the college app process as a form of college (and maybe life) planning for my kids. The first two (“A” students who had always been on top of their school work) needed a lot of help; sometimes it felt like my law practice was only a part time job and my real career was their applications. </p>
<p>Surprisingly my last (“B” student) D who is in line to submit about 15 apps is totally on top of it herself. She created a spreadsheet for app dates/early/reg and which required supplements then downloaded and filled both the apps and supplements and printed them out for me to check while we prepare to click the send button. She prepared and printed her activities resume, is tracking teacher recs and which ACT scores have gone out. She has written her essays almost in assembly line fashion (then I read and check and correct them). She also follows up on whether I got self sealing 9x12 envelopes her school counsellor wants for the materials they will send and makes weekly follow ups on how I am doing reviewing her essays.</p>
<p>I have been incredibly impressed. If there were only a way for her to also pay for all the ACT score reports and application fees I’d be in good shape. Then again at least she’s saved me the cost of consultant (or aggravation of tracking it all myself).</p>
<p>@Gwen Fairfax “This thread moves so fast,”</p>
<p>Boy does it ever. Take a day or weekend off and it feels like having to catch up on college reading before Mid terms.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine what it will be like in March/April when we start the frenzied deciding where to go phase of the discussions.</p>
<p>Rodney’s “pick your battles” point is very apt.</p>
<p>It also raises a broader qustion that has not been raised often on this thread (despite its blinding speed and daunting length): how to decide what responsibility to give to the child?</p>
<p>The question of what role the hcild should have in organizing the applicaitons pales in comparison to what do you do if the child wants to go to a school that you think is a poor choice–chosen because of a rep for wild parties or big time football; or what you fear is a disregard for how heavy the burden of paying off loans will be; or because a BF/GF is attending; or a lack of realization that resume value is more important than warm weather; etc.</p>
<p>WE all have our individual scales for how important it is for a child to prepare for the responsiblity of life on their own by keeping track of EA deadlines or teacher recs; does anyone forsee trouble over their final decision?</p>
<p>mhc48: Kudos to your daughter, very impressive!</p>
<p>Yabe: My experience was that by limiting aps to schools we all agreed to and setting a clear limit on how much the cost could be I found that while there were some stresses in April none of them involved S making a choice we thought was a bad one. There really didn’t seem to be any bad choices, just expensive ones but S knew the limit.</p>
<p>I agree wholeheartedly with spectrum. We got into a bit of a mess with S1 when he was accepted at Michigan - and we felt it was too big, too far and too expensive. In retrospect, we should not have let him apply in the first place. There’s just no point in allowing your child to apply to a school that is going to present all sorts of problems. I think that’s one of the (many) reasons why I have started S2’s process earlier and am putting so much time into it now - I want to end junior year with a list of schools we are all happy with and avoid some of the stress/drama that characterized S1’s process.</p>
<p>Rockvillemom, very smart! We did the same thing.</p>