<p>I am not a regular CC but have contributed from time to time and have kept my eye on this site for my friends. There is so much valuable info here. I do want to weigh in on some issues. I agree with Midcissp last statement but disagree her and RVM about if you come from a vibrant Jewish community you will be happier with a larger Jewish population.</p>
<p>First, let me say I come from a community with 1-2% of the population ( not large I know) but a very high rate of affiliation and involvement in Jewish life. We as parents volunteer in the Jewish community and our children did Jewish youth group. My son did Jewish summer camp also. Both did Israel programs.</p>
<p>My d attends Elon. She had the opportunity to attend a higher percentge school such as Muhlenberg, University of Texas, Indiana, COC, etc. She chose Elon somewhat due to its size, weather ( couldn’t handle Ithaca or Denver - Chapman too SoCal), and just a feeling it was right for her. I was very concerned about this decision. However she told me she would not have participated in a large Hillel progam or Jewish sorority like UT or Indiana. She has participated in Hillel events and has the opportunity to attend an alternative spring break.</p>
<p>My point is some kids thrive in a larger community ( my son was one of those) and others need a smaller community to feel connected. It is similar to our own affiliations. some like smaller congregations, others prefer the large established congregations. Others don’t connect to anything Jewish. I don’t think it is an east coast vs. southern thing. I know kids from small towns who have done the youth group thing and absolutely need the big Jewish frat/sorority scene. I know kids who did the youth group thing, went to large Jewish population schools and didn’t have any Jewish friends. I have friends whose children attend UT, the Claremont schools, and Arizona who have run into kids who have never met a Jew. Again, this isn’t restricted to southern schools. At the end of the day, the environment has to be right for your child. If remaining Jewish is a concern those discussions need to take place as a part of the college selection process and continue throughout the college experience.</p>
<p>Out of 22 kids on her floor three are Jewish. There are the Young Life/Evangelical kids which had worried me. My daughter has found them to be mildly annoying but she has told me it has pushed her to keep her Jewish connections on campus. You have to go out of your way to be Jewish at Elon. For some. they will not take that step I agree. My d is working on it which I am glad. </p>
<p>Good luck to those working through this process.</p>
<p>Texasmom: Thanks for sharing your daughter’s story. It sounds like she is having a great experience at Elon. I’m sure that this will reassure the parents on here who are seriously considering the school.</p>
<p>You make a great point about fit in terms of the Jewish population. As Flipper pointed out, some Jewish kids will not seek out Hillel, at a school with a higher Jewish percentage, they will meet more Jewish kids without trying. Some kids will thrive in a school with a small but active Hillel, where they can find a place to fit in and get involved. My main goal is for my daughter’s to stay connected as Jews.</p>
<p>My older daughter has had a great experience at a school with a large Jewish percentage. Many of her friends are Jewish, and while she has not become more religious in college, she has become more involved in Jewish activities. She and her friends light the Hanukah menorah together and organize holiday dinners in their apartments. A few of the girls in her apartment keep Kosher, so she’s learned a lot about Kashrut this year.</p>
<p>I was very happy when my younger daughter chose to apply to schools in the mid-atlantic and Northeast with decent Jewish populations. Most of her closest friends are not Jewish, she stopped going to her overnight camp and she’s not involved in a Jewish youth group, so I was worried about her connection to Judaism. She told me recently that while she’s not religious, she feels a strong connection to Judaism culturally. She wants to attend a school where she’ll meet other Jews and have a place to celebrate the holidays. Not bad for a girl who dropped out of Hebrew High School.</p>
<p>Hi Texasmother, as one Jewish Texas mother to another I have a couple of questions. First do you think that your kids’ experiences being Jewish and growing up in your minority community makes it more natural for your D to “work at it” as she does at Elon? This is not to say that kids from strong Jewish communities wouldn’t be happy at Elon just that a little more preparation might be helpful for for them. I don’t think the distinction is as simple as north south east and west but I do think that some school’s locations lend themselves to having larger populations in which Judiasm is an unknown. I expect that most schools which draw students from a broad geographical base will have some kids that never met a Jew firsthand. Depending on where they are and the number of OOS students the school’s have some schools will have more than others. </p>
<p>If you are open to it I would be really interested in hearing where your college searches took you since I’m guessing the geographical areas that you searched are closer to my search than the searches of most of the other posters on this thread.</p>
<p>I’ve got to tell you as a frequent reader and sometime poster on this thread I find it slightly amusing to find that many of you think of yourselves as a minority religion. I am a member of the Christian Science Church. My kids are used to being the only ones of our faith wherever they go, as am I. While we look for a church when we do our college visits, it’s never occurred to me to suss out the CS population. What I’ve found is that are more similarities between all religions then there are differences.</p>
<p>kathiep, this is very much a “your mileage may vary” issue. For us and my kids, having access to a Jewish community, both for social and religious purposes, has always been a part of our lives. For instance, D1 will be at school for many of the major Jewish holidays. Though I agree with you that the precepts and core beliefs of many religions are similar, only the Jewish community is going to have Shabbat Friday night dinners or High Holiday dinners. </p>
<p>I was curious to know if there was a Hillel-like equivalent for Christian Science students, which led me to read about the Asher Houses. It sounds very much like the a Jewish “Bayit” (hebrew for house), a cooperative living arrangement for co-religionist college students. Not for everyone, but a resource for some.</p>
<p>kathiep: I agree with you that there are more similarities between all religions than there are differences but unless your kids have been told that they are going to hell because they don’t love Jesus, or feel that some don’t want to associate with them because of their faith, or have been asked where there horns are, or have had to explain why your kids can’t be in school on a religious holiday for a test or other important school event it really isn’t the same thing. The Jewish faith has holidays that are unique to it and are often celebrated as a community. It also has a history of attempted extermination. Somehow the faith endures. For many however different their observances are there is a desire to have a community to share their faith with in some capacity. I don’t know about the CS observances at all but I do know that seeking a community isn’t unique to us, there are many Christian groups that rally around similar goals for their own faiths. It is just that Jewish groups are harder to find. There is an entire forum dedicated to Christian schools on CC. I think this thread is the closest thing to that forum that is on CC. I don’t mean any disrespect at all I just hope this helps things make more sense to you.</p>
<p>You are absolutely right in everything you say, Spectrum but my kids have been told they will go to hell because they have not been saved. I guess I am saying that I am jealous that there are enough of you to have a thread with multiple posters. I was told by a couple of posters on the “Christian” CC forum that my daughters college was not really Christian because, by their criteria, our religion didn’t qualify. </p>
<p>Sorry about the hi-jack, back to the regularly scheduled thread…</p>
<p>I wonder if you could find some other CC parents by creating another thread…specifically for the sub-section you are involved with…</p>
<p>just trying to help…</p>
<p>I would imagine, though, that schools that have been discussed here that are welcoming or starting to welcome Jewish students would also be welcoming to other “minority” religions, even in they were Christian minorities…</p>
<p>Texasmother - thanks for your comments. I was just trying to see if there was a common link between the Jewish students who are not happy at Elon - and the fact that they seem to come from a more predominately Jewish background appeared to be a common denominator. I didn’t mean to imply that everyone who comes from a vibrant Jewish background needs to attend a college with a large Jewish population - but I do see a bit of a pattern where students who come from a heavily Jewish area might not be happy at a school with a smaller Jewish population.</p>
<p>I am thrilled your D is happy at Elon. I do hear mostly happy stories from Elon parents.</p>
<p>kathiep - my take on your issue is that being Jewish is much more different from mainstream Christianity than being Christian Scientists. Judaism involves a completely different set of beliefs, language, religious holidays, traditions, etc. I doubt that anyone can simply look at you and tell your religion - many Jews find that their name or physical appearance at least give the impression of being Jewish according to certain stereotypes. Add in the centuries of religious persecution as spectrum2 mentioned - I just think it is a 100% different situation.</p>
<p>“Depending on religious definitions and varying population data, the United States is home to the largest or second largest (after Israel) Jewish community in the world. The population of American adherents of Judaism was estimated to be approximately 5,128,000 (1.7%) of the total population in 2007 (301,621,000); including those who identify themselves culturally as Jewish (but not necessarily religiously), this population was estimated at 6,489,000 (2.2%) as of 2008. As a contrast, Israel’s Central Bureau of Statistics estimated the Israeli Jewish population was 5,664,000 in 2009 (75.4% of the total population).”</p>
<p>I’m sorry about that Kathiep, it is always nice to have support. I first read your post thinking you were saying we were sort of whining, really it sounds like you are searching for the same thing. Again more alike than different. I hope your kids can find places that they feel supported in being who they are and have the chance to celebrate their faith with a community however small it may be. Sometimes just a few people you can communicate with and celebrate with from time to time is all you need. That has been our experience.</p>
<p>I haven’t posted on this thread in a long time but I read it regularly. I just had to say that I’m shocked and so sorry if any of your kids have ever been told they’re going to hell or asked if they have horns etc. </p>
<p>Where I live must be in a bubble. No one I know would ever even ask what religion someone practices let alone condemn it. Unless someone mentions to me where they go to church I would never even know what faith they practice. We’re more live and let live. I’m certainly not going to worry about someone else’s way to salvation when I have enough sins of my own to worry about.</p>
<p>^ that sounds like a very nice community in which to raise a family. I have been condemned to hell more than once, I’m sorry to say. It hasn’t happened in a very long time, but those memories do stick to a person. Where I live the Jewish population is not particularly large, but we are very visible, if that makes sense. We make sure that if there is a nativity scene on public grounds, then there is also a menorah, etc.</p>
<p>@kathiep: I totally understand where you’re coming from, but most evangelical christians feel that way about many others… if I’m not mistaken, they look down even on Catholics. I think that rvm said it well when she stated that sometimes we are singled out by our last names or are told that we “look Jewish.” It’s definitely a defensive mentality, but there’s a long history of oppression that makes us feel this way. I’m not trying to be harsh, so I apologize if it comes across that way.</p>
<p>proudwismom: I agree it does sound like you live in a great place. Where I live it is not unusual for the among the first questions some (usually older) people ask to be, “Where do you go to church?” It is peculiar or maybe I am naive but most of the time it just seems that they are trying to identify a group of people you are likely to be familiar with since most everyone goes to one or another local church. I don’t take offense to that. Also most of the comments relating to hell (in our experience)came from other kids who seem to be repeating doctrine they have been taught without grasping the full depth of what they were saying. One of my S’s friends had that experience with him and responded by writing a really nice letter back trying to reconcile what she had told him with what she was taught and then concluding, how could she possibly comment on or know the final destination of another person, that was a decison for G-d. She also deeply regretting possibly loosing a friendship because of her words. While this type of commentary can be hurtful I really believe that at least among young people it isn’t hateful most of the time and it is an opportunity to learn and grow closer together. It is definitely helpful for Jewish kids to be able to discuss these experiences with a youth group leader or other Jewish peers.</p>
<p>After reading everyone’s posts I do feel fortunate. My son has friends with varying faiths. The one Jewish family that we know invited the one Muslim family that we know to their son’s bar mitvah and everyone was fine with his going. The father in another family is an atheist but he teaches a general world religions class at their church. He felt it was important for his kids to be exposed to organized religion and feels it’s their decision once they are adults to continue or not.</p>
<p>I guess I’m naive and thought most places were like that regarding religion. My community isn’t perfect, we have our share of problems, including some racial intolerance but even that isn’t usually an in your face confrontation, though subtle or not it isn’t right.</p>
<p>I will let you know after we visit in April. CofC is so different - being in a city environment - I really have no idea how he will react. And then I do hear that there is more anti-Semiticsm in general in SC than in NC - so while CofC itself may be close to 10% Jewish - not sure how welcoming the rest of the area is. We are also planning a trip to Muhlenberg in March - I want him to see what that feels like - being 1/3 Jewish. I guess at this point when we evaluate all factors - location, size, price, climate, majors/minors offered, Jewish life - Elon seems to have the lead at the moment - but that is certainly subject to change. I also want to see where his grades and test scores are at the end of the year - I anticipate them holding fairly steady - but every now and then I fantasize about a 30 ACT score and how that might change things!</p>
I was told by a couple of posters on the “Christian” CC forum that my daughters college was not really Christian because, by their criteria, our religion didn’t qualify. </p>