<p>Sorry I wasn’t clear on this…what I meant was that within the Jewish community there are many who are Orthodox/Hasidic who believe that the reform and conservative movement are not really Judaism…</p>
<p>RVM:</p>
<p>I believe the people shrugging this sort of thing off did not grow up Jewish. It’s very hard to explain to someone not understanding the full ramifications of our religion why that would or would not be offensive. Not sure why it’s so difficult for people to keep comments to themselves as in the college student…why write anything on someone’s board that would be controversial? Hopefully that’s just because of their age/immaturity level.</p>
<p>Even though Dunnin thinks that what he/she wrote is humorous, it is these types of comments from him/her and unfortunately so many others that write/say/think things that perpetuate stereotypes. And it is usually from not knowing the real truths that such comments are born. Kathiep also just doesn’t understand how this phrase can be offensive…it is just from lack of knowledge about these issues that these people say & think the way that they do.</p>
<p>My children have lived in this suburban bubble surrounded by lots of jewish friends and also christian friends who are loving and non-judgemental…I’m very nervous for them to go out and experience real anti-semetisim…usually by people who do not know enough about the struggles that jewish people face…and just assume that “all” jewish people are smart, rich, etc. It’s the same with ANY stereotype about any cultural/ethnic group! Lots of groups face various stereotypes…wonder if colleges have courses on this subject?</p>
<p>Our schools make the bullying subject a priority…what about colleges? When they talk about diversity, are there actual discussions on people’s religious and cultural differences and how to get along and not antagonize each other?</p>
<p>This, to me, seems to be a very important issue with respect to not only college students, but also to parents too! Parents say stupid things about other groups of people and their kids pick up on it and continue the stereotypes and that spills over to college campuses!</p>
<p>Educating people is the best way to combat ignorance and stereotyping, imo. What a massive job that is! </p>
<p>mdmom: yeah, that comment about jewish people calling Israel fascist really hit me hard too. Are they getting brainwashed? Israel wants & needs every jewish person to be on board with them and certainly on the same page. It is our strength as american jews that will take Israel into the future. It sounds sappy, yeah, but Israel needs all of us to come together and be united. The whole middle east peace thing is a huge debacle and it seems as if the jews & Israelis are always to blame.</p>
<p>RVM: I know we are way off subject of “B” students, however if you have no objection, this discussion should continue, especially in how we can help our kids thrive in a college setting and in life after college when it comes to negative remarks or worse.</p>
<p>I think what is difficult regarding the whiteboard incident is that the message was written only to the jewish kid, as if meaning “God loves EVEN you.” Perhaps the writer intended a message of love-I’m more than willing to believe that–but ultimately it’s a message of disrespect, and an intrusion into something that is private. After all, a discussion of religion wasn’t invited here. Someone decided it was important for the Jewish kid to know that Jesus loves him/her. It would be terrific if some shared learning, understanding, empathy and respect could result from this incident, which could happen if the writer signed her name and the Jewish kid were willing to travel that path. Personally, as I got older I found it tiring to have to explain my religious beliefs to anyone (including fellow Jews who challenged my level of observance). But, for a young person who is new to this kind of thing, I hope he/she approaches the Christian kid with an outstretched, but firm, hand.</p>
<p>…“.why write anything on someone’s board that would be controversial”…</p>
<p>I am going to play devils advocate here so please understand that this is where I am posting from. How do we know that the person who wrote this knows it is controversial? Isn’t it possible that he-she were operating from a position of ignorance?</p>
<p>Looking at this from another perspective (and yes, I grew up 100% Jewish through and through)…what if the kid in question grew up in an area where they were ONLY exposed to Christians? yes, sheltered; yes, needs to expand horizons, yes, inappropriate…but what if they didn’t know it was inappropriate? </p>
<p>Wouldn’t it be more helpful for the Jewish person to respond and educate? Yes, we don’t live a perfect world; there are anti-semites, racists and homophobes…but not sure we can assume here on an internet message board that this was a direct attack on a Jewish person; it may have been, but we just don’t know…</p>
<p>One of the goals I personally have for my children at college is to understand that the environment they have been raised in may or may not represent the world at large; they will meet people who are very different from them and many may have never met a Jewish person (or a Black one, Muslim one or a fill-in-the-blank one)…or a Christian Scientist…(shout out to Kathiep our honorary poster)…</p>
<p>They have been taught to assume nothing about other people’s views about Judaism…and I imagine my younger daughter will have to face some of this stuff at Elon…how she handles it will be part of her education…</p>
<p>edit: cross posted with Vitrac but his/her final written line is right on the mark imo; agree that the Jewish student should make it crystal clear that this was disrespectful and offensive to them</p>
<p>As the other Gentile on this thread, I believe writing “Jesus loves you” on a Jewish whiteboard is extremely insensitive, intolerant and ignorant. It’s different altogether if between two people that know each other, one Christian tells another person that may not be a Christian that Jesus loves everyone, but to write it anonymously especially on a Jewish whiteboard, that is just plain rude.</p>
<p>stayathomemom: do we actually know that they didn’t know each other? and that it was anonymous? I guess I have to look back in the posts…</p>
<p>I’m not sure everyone would feel the way you do…</p>
<p>I, personally, have never heard the phrase “Jesus loves everyone” but have often heard “Jesus loves you”…along with the WWJD that has become almost commonplace…</p>
<p>I may be naive, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. The writer may actually not know how rude and insensitive it is to a Jewish person to have someone say that to them. Two of my sister in laws are very active born again Christians. They often say things to me that I find insensitive and I find that I need to “educate” them frequently. They are actually both lovely women, who when I explain to them why I find what they say offensive or insensitive, are upset that they did something that they honestly did not understand would be taken the way it was. Given that this was a college student and decades younger than my sister in laws, they may just not have been around enough Jews to understand how this would be taken.
On the other hand, maybe they ARE just a rabid anti-semite!!! 
Who knows???</p>
<p>rodney…thank you. I agree with you. Kathiep didn’t think it was controversial or inappropriate either, which goes to show how different people think. Vitrtac is also correct in having this person extend a hand out to the whiteboard writer…perhaps changing people’s perceptions one person at a time…</p>
<p>so, without giving out too much info I asked my daughter her opinion…she wasn’t sure how she would react so she said that she would get back to me…she did ask me hypothetically if she is to assume that she knew the person who wrote it or did the person write it anonymously…?</p>
<p>curious to see what she says…</p>
<p>great opportunity to start a dialogue with our kids…let us know what transpires if others inquire what their kids would do…</p>
<p>great idea rodney! If I can pin my S1 down…now that he’s gotten into college ED, he seems to be MIA (missing in action!) this weekend! Out with other friends who have gotten into college ED somewhere. But I will ask him and see what he says! (most likely report back to you all tomorrow). :)</p>
<p>Well, I just asked my son his opinion. He told me that he would not care if someone wrote this on his whiteboard. He would not care if a friend wrote it, or a stranger wrote it on his whiteboard.</p>
<p>My original response, a retort refering to a baseball player was intended to show that it wouldn’t have upset me much (I’ve encountered many experiences like that over my lifetime). I meant my response humorously, but as I think of it more, I realize that perhaps a Christian might take as an offensive comment: as if I were denigrating their savior or a basic tenet of their religion.</p>
<p>As with so many of these things we really need to know the full context, which none of us do. I can see examples where it might have been meant offensively and provocatively, but others where it could have as easily been meant unoffensively, even lovingly. Or perhaps humorously. Or by accident or insensitively. We just don’t know.</p>
<p>What is offensive to Jews which many Gentiles don’t understand is echo of the centuries of being proselytized, encouraged (and even forced) to renounce our faith and convert. The knowledge of centuries of Christians marking things “til the conversion of the Jews”. Of being accused of murdering Jesus. Yet we must understand that for many, Jesus’ love is a central article of faith, and of hope and outreach. That while we discourage conversion, they actively seek it, and not for domination but as an expression of goodwill to save our souls or rescue us. To tell us “the good news”. It is our history which can make things seem sinister.</p>
<p>None of it necessarily means anything unless and until we know what and how it was meant. And then you can know how ~ or if ~ to address it.</p>
<p>BTW, I should know this, but what exactly is a whiteboard in this context?</p>
<p>mhc - very thoughtful response. A whiteboard is literally a white board that someone hangs on their dorm room door so that people can leave messages - like a friend stops by and you are not there so they write a note. You just wipe it clean with a paper towel - no water needed. They are actually kind of obsolete now - with FB and texting and so forth - my son does not use one. </p>
<p>I don’t know any details about this particular whiteboard incident - just something I heard in passing from an acquaintance - but I thought it would make for an interesting discussion - which it has. So - to me - it’s not one incident in particular - but the general concept. My son is contemplating several southern schools. How would he react/should he react if someone says “Jesus loves you” or something similar? I think it is disrespectful, but I am open to the possibility that the speaker truly meant no harm - that it might be a customary expression where they are from. Just wondered what other people think of this expression and how they would react.</p>
<p>To our non-Jewish readers - what do you think? Have you ever said this to a Jewish person and if so - how did you mean it?</p>
<p>Wow, I was out of town one day - Thursday - driving through all of that mess in Maryland - and I missed so much good news! (BTW, the roads were much better in PA - with the same weather! It is the response of the road crews and drivers that makes it so much more challenging. So, don’t base college choices on snow or sleet alone!)</p>
<p>Who am I missing or in error regarding these recent reasons to congratulate our students?
stayathome’s S: Penn State
Umich’s S: Michigan and UIC Engineering
MHC’s D: Oneonta, New Paltz, College of Charleston
momjr’s D: Northeastern with merit
Rakenjake’s S: Green Mt. College
Moltobene’s S: Wisconsin, Michigan
Emilybee’s S: Ithaca with scholarship
holliesue’s D: SUNY New Paltz
mdmomfromli’s Ds: both read Torah today!</p>
<p>Congratulations to all of these students!</p>
<p>Now, to get back to where we are on the thread: (and a whiteboard, by the way, is probably just a dry-erase board on the outside of a door - unless this happened in a high tech classroom where a computer whiteboard was used):
I think that the best way for us to prepare our kids is to make sure that they are comfortable and confident in their identity. Let’s tell them to be proud of who they are and where they come from! With that basic level of confidence, they will most likely be able to interact with people who were raised differently from themselves. We can also help prepare them with a few responses, such as “We have our own covenant,” or “I’m proud and happy to continue my tradition, just as you are probably proud and happy to continue yours.”
One thing for students to understand is that current Christianity is, by large, faith-based and current Judaism is behavior-based. Christianity has salvation, reached by believing in Jesus. Judaism has hope for a messianic age, reached by study and doing mitzvot. Therefore, it is no wonder that Christians and Jews can talk right past each other with no understanding of the basic paradigm of the other person!
I say “current” because we have all borrowed concepts and ideas from each other! This is an evolving understanding.</p>
<p>And, I think that our communities should offer workshops on how to respond to anti-Zionist rhetoric. For this, our students need some facts about history and current conditions. But, for those who have no access to this, does anyone have any resources for this? For example, most people know about the Holocaust but many people do not know that Jews in Egypt, Syria, and Iraq were kicked out, that life was made so miserable for Jews in Iran, Morocco, Yemen and Ethiopia that they had to leave, and a “right of return” has never been brought up about this!</p>
<p>I’ll be interested to ask my kids about the “Jesus Loves You” comment. I agree that it may have been written out of ignorance and some outreach might be helpful.</p>
<p>My freshman d said she’d be really ****ed if someone wrote that on her board and she would report it to the RA. As to what she’d hope that would accomplish , she had no answer. But she did offer the following: In the cafeteria a few weeks ago, she and a bunch of kids were discussing how their college had alot of Jews. The one Christian at the table said matter of factly that Jews killed her Lord. There was an awkward silence. No one countered her assertion and the discussion ended. So as levirm said, a history lesson might prove useful. While all of this was addressed in Hebrew School years ago, I’m quite sure my d was cutting class or passing notes or just not interested.</p>
<p>[StandWithUs.com</a> - Breaking Audio and Video News from Israel and The World. ::HOME PAGE::](<a href=“http://www.standwithus.com/]StandWithUs.com”>http://www.standwithus.com/)
</p>
<p>also Alan Dershowitz’s book, The Case for Israel, written in Q&A format, is helpful for informative, brief replies to the usual loaded questions students are asked on campus. Click on Table of Contents to see the questions he deals with: [Amazon.com:</a> The Case for Israel (0723812609390): Alan Dershowitz: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Case-Israel-Alan-Dershowitz/dp/047146502X#reader_047146502X]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Case-Israel-Alan-Dershowitz/dp/047146502X#reader_047146502X)</p>
<p>Here is a great resource for our kids:
[AIPAC</a> - Why Israel](<a href=“http://www.aipac.org/25937.asp]AIPAC”>http://www.aipac.org/25937.asp)</p>
<p>Vitrac - that type of incident is exactly what I’m thinking about - how do we teach our kids to respond to such comments? In the instance you described - I wish they had responded with something other than silence - even just to simply state that the assertion that the Jews killed Jesus is not true. That stmt is the basis for hundreds and hundreds of year of anti-Semitism. To hear it repeated in 2010 saddens me greatly.</p>
<p>Cross posted with paying3tutions. That looks like a great resource, too!</p>
<p>and there’s the AntiDefamationLeague: click Education, then College…and you find this resource all printed out for your students <a href=“http://www.adl.org/education/Myths%20and%20Facts.pdf[/url]”>http://www.adl.org/education/Myths%20and%20Facts.pdf</a></p>
<p>People have been working on these topics for a long time to help the current crop of students find responsive language-- if they need it.</p>