<p>I mostly agree with mdmomfromli with respect to the whiteboard issue. I grew up in a very non-Jewish town (required to sing Christmas carols in school, etc.). People just didn’t assume Jews existed. I took their Merry Christmas wishes as gestures of good will. They enjoyed the holiday and hoped I would as well. Later, a friend who converted to Judaism would go with his wife for the winter vacation to his parents. The wife would fume at all of the faux pas’s (not sure how we make the plural in English) and her rabbi told her, “Enjoy the holiday with them. This is the one holiday each year at which many Christian families get the whole family together at a quiet time without activities or shopping. You get that once a week with Shabbat. Help them enjoy their one shot per year at what you get and love once a week.”</p>
<p>I was on the other end of anti-Semitic bullying in elementary school so I’m not insensitive to intentionally hostile remarks (and this went beyond the hostile to the physical). </p>
<p>I think it is likely that the writer of the remark was a) trying to be generous by sharing what he/she loves; and b) because it was specifically directed at a Jewish student, he/she hopes to start the student along a process of getting the recipient to embrace that love, which would ultimately end in a conversion. I think the anonymous but directed nature of the remark is what makes it offensive, though only mildly so as the writer undoubtedly projects that if the recipient just was exposed to what the writer knows/believes, the recipient would be happy (and go to heaven, etc.).</p>
<p>I’d hope my kid would thank the person for trying to share what is special to them to explain that a great gift is not what the giver thinks is great but what the recipient thinks is great. A five year old boy might just love the frog he’s caught near the stream but his grandmother would not find that a great gift. Similarly, a girlfriend might just not be delighted with the boyfriend’s gift of a new gaming console to use on his Xbox. The giver’s gift is similar as it wishes for the recipient something that he or she not only doesn’t want but finds a bit offensive, if unintentionally so. The giver should consider the wish he/she might get from an Islamic or Buddhist friend, wishing for them to embrace Allah’s or Buddha’s love. Given the nature of the message, I’d like the give to understand that I feel that a university-sponsored whiteboard is probably also an inappropriate place to send religious messages. If it persists, I would definitely suggest the student approach the appropriate dean, maybe starting at Hillel along the way.</p>
<p>Emmybet - I agree, trying to figure out how each college calculates GPA is just beyond what I can do. I have also looked at the GPA’s the way you have. </p>
<p>Momjr - we are also planning on getting the testing done this year. D took the SAT in October. Did very well on CR and W. Not so well on math…no surprise, other than her math score was 60 points lower than her math score on the PSAT in 10th grade! Yikes. She has been going for SAT math tutoring. Has finished 3 sessions and will have another 3 or 4 before the January SAT. Tutor also told her that she will give her a few tricks to even bring up her CR and W a few points, even though that’s not really necessary, just need to get math up.</p>
<p>She will also take the ACT in February. I have a feeling she will do very well on that. Everything I have read says that the math is more straight forward and it’s not as much math as the SAT. </p>
<p>Luckily, for her intended major she does not have the take SAT II’s at any schools she is applying to, even her reach schools.</p>
<p>If it wasn’t for CC, I don’t know if we would have started so early with this whole process. Last year after getting the PSAT score, I started googling to see how to compare that the SAT scores and found CC, best find! Also, I’ll give a thanks to RVM, our kids are at the same HS and because she has an older son has given me lots of info on the inner workings at the HS regarding the college application process.</p>
<p>OK, one last contribution to the whiteboard discussion: There were terminally ill newborns, born to Jewish parents, in the neonatal ICU in our local hospital. One of the Christian nurses took it upon herself to baptize the babies in secret to “save” them. Once it was discovered, after the babies died, there were some who reacted that the nurse was acting out of love. I was deeply offended. Yes, she was acting out of love, but also arrogance and disrespect to people who do not share her beliefs. As Shawbridge said, a great gift is what the recipient thinks is great. Though some called for the nurse’s dismissal, she kept her job and was ordered to take some kind of sensitivity training, or multicultural/religion classes. Ok, NOW back to our regular programming!</p>
<p>cherryhillmom, if your HS uses Naviance that can really help with the GPA questions-- as it will show what GPA from your own HS is necessary for different colleges. Of course if it’s a small school or if you’re looking far outside the local area, you won’t get as much info. But I have been so glad to be able to use it to get ballpark estimates of what might be possible.</p>
<p>I finally posed the question to my S1 re: whiteboard writings…he said he would be offended if someone wrote that on his whiteboard, but would have no action. Another words, do nothing, but be aware. If the same incident happened a second time, he would report the incident to his RA, again, so that someone other than himself is aware and on the lookout. I personally would take it to the Hillel office…</p>
<p>As part of the freshman curriculum across the country, a course on diversity and sensitivity other people’s belief’s should be a requirement!</p>
<p>You know, I realized we have not heard from Yabeyabe in quite a long time! Hope everything is okay…would love to hear his input on these subjects!</p>
<p>Vitrac - that’s a perfect example. I completely believe the nurse was acting from good intentions - but that is so offensive to a Jewish family - particularly one that is already suffering from the death of an infant. It is disrespectful or our religion and the nurse clearly believed in the superiority of her beliefs.</p>
<p>If someone were to say “Jesus loves you” to me - I would be offended. It’s like you are implying that my religion and my beliefs are insufficient and that Christianity is superior. I always mark the irony of those who say Christianity is about love - an awful lot of people - Jews and other minorities - have been killed by Christians. How does that demonstrate love? In any case, I did have a conversation about this topic with S2 - and he shared that they did a comparative religion program in BBYO a few weeks back and talked about this topic a bit - so I think he knows it is out there - even if he has not experienced anything of this sort yet.</p>
<p>On GPA recalculation - I would take out art (except AP), music (except AP), gym, computer classes and anything else that is not a solid. Just count the grades from the solids - math, science, social studies, English and foreign language. This is what the majority of colleges will do.</p>
<p>Yabeyabe is alive and well, choc chip. I grew concerned myself and PM’d him a few days ago. He’s just busy and taking a little CC breather.</p>
<p>Just want to suggest re-focus on our main task of colleges for the “B” student and perhaps curtail our religious discussion. I think we have had ample evidence of varying opinions and how what offends one person is seen very differently by another. I want to thank everyone who provided great resources yesterday for us to use and share with our kids - I have not had time to read them yet - but it looks like we have a wealth of information at our fingertips now to use when these issues come up.</p>
<p>Good luck for everyone who is expecting decisions this week - I know Elon EA comes out tonight at midnight - good luck on that one and all others.</p>
<p>Regarding nurses baptizing Jewish babies - many years ago, I taught nursing at a Catholic college and some faculty members stated that they did this routinely. I explained to them how offensive this was. They replied that if the parents didn’t believe in this, what was the difference? I tried to emphasize that their belief system should not be imposed on someone else. I don’t think that they understood my point of view in the least.
At the same time, some Indian families in a nearby suburban school district had asked some Jewish families to request that religious Christmas songs not be sung in public schools. (The Indian Hindu families were upset by it, but did not want to speak up, so they asked a particularly outspoken Jewish woman to do so.) My colleages simply did not understand what the big deal was about singing the carols. I tried to explain that there was separation of church and state in our country, and that if they felt that strongly about their kids singing Christmas carols, they could do so outside of school, or send their kids to a Catholic school. I think I got through on this one.
I did not last long at this Catholic college, not because of these incidents, but because my Jewish paradigm of how authority is handed down was way different than the prevailing paradigm. I ended up teaching at a much more highly ranked program, at first under a Jewish Dean. Although I am no longer teaching but am practicing as a nurse practitioner, I have found over the years that Jewish bosses encourage questioning, and I do much better under those circumstances.
It is just mind-baffling how some people have never been exposed to another point of view and just assume that everyone believes as they do.</p>
<p>REM, I thought Elon came out tomorrow - it’s tonight? Good wishes for anyone that’s waiting for that one. I think we’ll wait until tomorrow, if it’s bad news it wouldn’t be pleasant to sleep on, and if it’s good, it might be too exciting to sleep!</p>
<p>Sorry, RVM, I cross posted with you and will return to the topic of colleges. However, I do think that it is interesting to discuss how to promote Jewish continuity as our kids go to college, and to discuss how to help them deal with situations such as the ones that have been discussed.</p>
<p>levirm - I agree with you - but it’s kind of a fine line. There were a few attempts at Jewish threads last year that got kind of derailed when they turned into a lot of religious arguing and I don’t want to see that happen here. But I agree that sharing examples of anti-Semiticm on college campuses and how to prepare our children to deal which such incidents IS a part of our mission - I just want to be careful that we don’t stray beyond that into troublesome waters.</p>
<p>Elon - midnight always confuses me. They release EA decisions at midnight on 12/20. I thought that meant Monday night - but there are already kids on the EA forum counting down the hours as in 8 hours to go. Yes - I think the midnight thing is weird. S1 applied to Elon and we just waited and checked the following morning.</p>
<p>Kathiep: I hope you get good news from Elon tomorrow.</p>
<p>Mdmom: It sounds like you have a good strategy with the SAT. If the math score doesn’t go up as much as you’d like, have her try the ACT. My daughter had similar SAT scores to your daughters’ scores, and she scored the equivalent of 100 points higher on the ACT math. In fact, all her ACT scores were better. A weak SAT math score can really hurt on the SAT, where it counts for either 1/2 or 1/3 of the test, depending on whether the school uses the writing section. It’s only 1/4 of the ACT. The ACT score gave her much better options, and replaced the SAT subject tests at two schools.</p>
<p>I agree with Emmybet’s explanation on the best way to figure GPA. Some schools will use the weighted GPA or recalculate, but a lot of schools say they take the unweighted GPA and assess it in the context of the rigor on the transcript. Every school we visited said that the most important component of an application is the transcript.</p>
<p>I agree that schools may take electives out of GPA and focus on academic subjects when deciding about admitting a student. What I was referring to was how to figure out if a student is more or less “appropriate” to apply to a school. I think if they post their accepted students’ average GPAs, and a kid has about that GPA, they might as well apply. I wouldn’t let a difference of .1 or .2 deter my kid. That’s what reaches are all about.`By definition, they accept kids below their stated average GPA.</p>
<p>EmmyBet - agree completely. It is great if you have Naviance to use - then you can see the results from your hs in terms of GPA and SAT or ACT scores. I do sympathize with those that don’t have Naviance - it’s harder to figure out the GPA comparison as what the college quotes as the average accepted GPA is just a number unless you know how they calculated it. But of course - by definition an average accepted GPA will mean that kids with higher and lower GPAs were accepted - so always worth a shot if you are at least in the ball park.</p>
<p>My son received an acceptance letter yesterday and is very excited. We won’t know for sure whether or not he’s actualy going to attend until we file the FAFSA paperwork and wait and see what the real $ cost will be. Meanwhile, I’d love to hear from people who know something about what De Paul is like for a Jewish student, and anything else (good or bad) that we should be aware of to help with decision making. </p>
<p>While I’ve got you here with me in my California living room, let me also ask you this: he got an acceptance last week from SUNY Purchase, which he is also happy about and which I know we can more easily afford --but, since it’s a state school, I’m wondering if he’ll be able to get the classes he needs to graduate in four years. It might make more financial sense for him to attend a more expensive private and be done in four years than to attend a state school and have it take five or more years to get a BA. He was accepted as a Political Science major and is interested in an Arts Management minor. Thoughts?</p>
Hope everything is okay…would love to hear his input on these subjects!</p>