<p>Dovetailing off of Laura’s post I just want to take a minute to talk about southern life. Of course this is a generality we all know that nothing can be completely colored by one broad brushstroke. On this thread I have spoken a lot about being Jewish in the south but not so much about life in the south.</p>
<p>Southern hospitality really does exist. The pace of life is much slower and strangers typically take the time to say hello. People will go out of their way to make you feel welcome and take the time for details in a way that never occurred to me back home in NYC. When my parents first came here they were amazed that people in the grocery store brought your groceries to your car with a smile and helped you unload. They were at first uncomfortable and asked me how much they should be tipped. Afterwards they loved it. They were also amazed at how people at the library, and in the community were so friendly and ready to chat. I was very comfortable being outspoke speaking my mind and disagreeing and then getting on with things. Here I learned that disagreement and criticism are taken more personally and I have learned to be gentler about expressing disagreement. When you meet friends or even acquaintences it is typical to hug. It took a little bit for me to get used to that but now I find it to be a really nice custom. My experience is that while the redneck culture does exist I’ve seen it more with older people than with younger folks and it is a more rural approach to life. Extremism of course exists everywhere. The way I have come to love living in the south has been by embracing the warmth. </p>
<p>Of course these are generalities and just my experience, but Laura reminded me about how sometime people are worried about the change in lifestyle so I thought I’d share my perceptions for folks concerned about the change.</p>
<p>spectrum - the only thing I would add is that I know of a few girls who have not been happy at schools in the south. I think they underestimate the degree of culture shock going from Maryland to SC or Georgia. Comments range from it being cliquey - to amazement at girls getting dressed up including hair/makeup/pearls to go to class - to the prominent role played by sororities. </p>
<p>I don’t think it has anything to do with people being unfriendly - it just comes down to “fit” - or the lack thereof.</p>
<p>if yabeyabe is on a cruise, he is paying through the teeth for internet access…if he is on CC, we seriously do have a problem…have a feeling he hasn’t left yet…bon voyage!!!</p>
<p>Laura: thank you so much for your Clemson post; a number of kids have asked me about it recently…</p>
<p>Good point RVM, I guess I generalized too far lumping Texas in with the south. Here there are few places that a person would not fit in wearing blue jeans and boots. I don’t see very many pearls at all and if I do it is the more trendy variety. I think cliquey happens more where people know each other from prior experience. I lived in one town where many adults went to preschool together. That isn’t welcoming at all. But I also knew cliquey in my NYC HS. Neither of my two southern boys have any interest in fraturnities at this point, so again there are variations even within the region. There definitely is a change in lifestyle, it isn’t for everyone. One thing to keep in mind though (and again I may be generalizing a little much since my primary NE experience is NYC) is that normal fastpaced going about your business living could come off as snobish, and unfriendly resulting in an unhappy cycle. I’ve lived in the NE, NW and Texas and found differences in culture in each location. </p>
<p>I guess that if anything is to be gleaned from this it is that it helps to try to get a feel for the culture of a school especially if it is far away and especially if most of the students are from the same region. Ironically, literally as I am writing this S2 had a friend come over. He just moved from NJ 2 months ago. My husband asked him how he likes it here, he said, “Its okay, its slow.” :)</p>
<p>“it helps to try to get a feel for the culture of a school especially if it is far away and especially if most of the students are from the same region.”</p>
<p>Spectrum - that’s it in a nutshell! Well put. This issue seems to crop up more at public colleges/universities - which makes sense since they have so many in-state students. The private schools - even in the same states - have more geographic diversity - so it is less of an issue.</p>
<p>This link is about funding for Birthright.
The Israeli government is increasing its level of funding, but this is contingent on an increase in funding from the diaspora. This is not particularly clear in this article, but an editorial in our local Jewish newspaper, not available yet on the internet, stated this in yesterday’s edition, corroborated by this quote from ynet news:
The Israeli government funding will grow annually, starting with approximately $26 million in 2011, $34 million in 2012 and $40 million in 2013. To match this commitment, the Israeli government expects a corresponding increase in funding for Birthright Israel from its other partners and donors in Jewish communities abroad. In the last two years, the Birthright Israel Foundation’s donor base has grown very significantly by 10,000 new donors, despite the economic downturn.</p>
<p>Levrim: Thanks for sending the link. This is very good news. My daughter is planning to try again in the next year.</p>
<p>It’s interesting that the article says that they have found that the trips increase commitment to Israel, but not Jewish practice. My niece went on a trip this winter, and after the trip she said that it didn’t make her feel “more Jewish,” but it made her feel more connected to Israel. It was also a good opportunity for her to meet more Jewish kids from her school (UNC).</p>
<p>The cruise is Sunday–and then it will be cold turkey withdrawal from CC; the news from the US; and, best of all, winter storm advisories.</p>
<p>Spectrum, I have spent a lot a lot of time working in all parts of the US. I have not found any of the regional streotypes, good or bad, to be worthwhile. I do not find northeasterners either smarter or less friendly; Californians either more creative or more wacky; midwesterners more honest or more narrowminded; or southerners more friendly or more lazy. I am sure, for example, that the prominent Texas politicians who urged that the Speaker of the Texas House, who is Jewish, be replaced by a “Christian Conservative” are absolutely convinced that they are friendlier than the average New Yorker (just as they are convinced that their comments had no religious bias) and, superficially, that might even be true.</p>
<p>Yabeyabe: I wouldn’t call it stereotyping as much as I would call it cultural differences. That may still be the wrong word, but right now its the best I can do. My opinions aren’t preconcieved they are based on my life experience. So I respectfully disagree with you. Let me be clear, and I hope those of you reading this understand this, I’m not speaking of traits like wakiness, honesty laziness, or intelligence. What I’m speaking of is how things are expressed. For instance where I grew up people didn’t routinely hug when they saw friends or even acquaintances. Personally I was a little uncomfortable with this when I first moved here and now it seems like a lovely way of greeting someone. I also think that at times regional differences can lead to some misunderstandings. The reason for my post was not to be devisive. I wrote it because I got the feeling that some people on this thread seemed to be concerned about life at schools in the south and I was hoping to that I could show folks some aspects to life down here that might make some more comfortable with it. This isn’t to say that all places are for everyone. </p>
<p>I just went back to my original post and tried to see how it sounded like what you percieved Yabe, but I really don’t get it. I didn’t think I was making any political or controversial commentary. But to be clear, I also see no value to stereotyping, I do see a lot of benefit to understanding different customs and cultures, and based on my experiences, I do believe there are differences in different parts of the country. Unlike you I believe that understanding some of these differences can be helpful. </p>
<p>I do agree that on the surface things sometimes appear one way when in reality they are quite different. (At least that is what I get from your statement about Texas politicians). The depth and ramifications of all that are well beyond anything I was getting at. As for Texas politics please don’t even get me started. That is miles from where I was when I first posted and definitely beyond the scope of this thread. Have a great cruise Yabe. </p>
<p>Spectrum, I am particularly interested in your comments as my D has been accepted to Elon and there’s a very good chance she’ll attend. She’s lived on the west coast her entire life and I do think she’ll experience some culture shock. As you describe the south (and I totally acknowledge that these are your own reflections and experiences), my D would fit right in…when I add in what I’ve heard about sororities, “dressing” for classes or sports events, high maintenance in terms of make up, etc., well, let’s just say ‘not so much’!</p>
<p>collage1 - I don’t think the “southern issues” are as prevalent at Elon as they might be at CofC or Univ. of South Carolina or Univ. of Georgia. Elon - being a private university - has more geographic diversity. There are many kids from NC - sure - but also many from MA, NJ and MD. </p>
<p>Have you visited? Are you going to an accepted students day program? Have you met students from Hillel? I would suggest doing those things and seeing if your D finds the people she meets people she would want to hang out with.</p>
<p>One more word on southern friendliness - spectrum I do understand what you are saying about that. My older son is at Wake and the last time we were there he took me into an on-campus convenience store to make a small purchase. The effusive greeting he rcvd from the 2 older women behind the counter was hysterical - they greeted him like a long lost cousin - knew him by name - and were so thrilled to meet his “mama”! It was a fun experience and something that would not happen in MD.</p>
<p>Spectrum, thanks for the good wishes. Perhaps I was oversensitive. As it happened, I had just returned from volunteering at my local library, which is just as friendly as the one you described as unlikely in the northeast, to read a newspaper story about the lack of local cooperation in the reinvestigation of murders during the civil rights struggles of the 60’s and thought of the many CC posts I have read by Midwesterners and Southerners decrying Eastern snobbery and unfriendliness. Sorry if I offended you.</p>
<p>RVM, you may be unintentionally overweighting the friendliness of the convenience store folks and underweighting the friendliness of your son or small schools. I had the same experience with my son in PA and thought it was a mixture of the folks being nice people; my son being (unfortunately) more grateful to them than he is to his parents when we are serving him; and small schools (and small towns) tending to have people who stay at their jobs for many years and develop a deep affection for the nicer kids they recognize from frequent contact not submerged by a sea of thousands of other kids interacting with dozens of servers. </p>
<p>I am sure your son is as thoughtful to them as you (and Spectrum) are to strangers on CC and the Wake folks respond in kind.</p>
<p>College1: I hope the experience your D finds is similar to what I described. I agree with RVM when you are in the homestretch there is no substitute for a visit and if possible an overnight at the campuses getting serious consideration.</p>
<p>Levirm: Interesting article about Birthright. I’m going to talk to my S about how he feels the experience changed him now that he is several months out from the trip. That is when he finally wakes up today :). I was glad to see that they are working on a program " to help heighten and sharpen the Israel experience for participants". And it is wonderful that more young people will get to go.</p>
<p>RVM: I had a similar experience as a new bride. My husband had rented our first home without me, I was still living in NY. When we showed up at the door of the landlady’s home to arrange our move in, I was embraced by a beautiful white haired elderly woman as if she was my grandmother. I won’t ever forget it!</p>
<p>Yabeyabe, not a problem, I get it, an odd collaboration of my words with your experience. When I read your post I first went back and read mine to try and figure out what I had said. Please don’t be angry with me, but after I reread it and I couldn’t figure it out I thought; Yabe is about to go on a cruise, it sounds like it its a good time for him to get to escape from the world. The cruise sounds wonderful, especially getting to escape the snow (which is a novelty to me but probably not to you.)I’ve enjoyed so many of your posts, I really didn’t want to be feuding. I was hoping it was something like that.</p>
<p>When I mentioned snobbery, I wasn’t calling NE people snobs. I hope you understand that. To clarify, I grew up without a car riding the NYC subways. What I learned was to walk fast, not to look people in the eye and to appear that I had a destination and a purpose. This was what I learned to do to stay safe and also to get where I was going in a timely manner, it became my typical alone out in public behavior. If that behavior was transplanted to a southern campus I think it could be misinterpreted as snobbery among young people all trying to find their way. That could make adjustment to a new campus unpleasant. I went to college in NYC and at least in those days I think I was typical. As for the library, that was just my Dad who in his lifetime called two continents and a pacific island home. He spent most of his adult life in NYC and was a New Yorker through and though. He was a very scholarly type and if his life circumstances were different I think he would have been a college prof. In any case, he loved libraries and was charmed by the congeniality of the staff of our local library in rural Texas. And yes, I moved from NYC (and a job at NYU hospital) to rural Texas. Talk about culture shock!!!</p>
<p>re: Elon and southern atmosphere…we visited twice and have really not seen what has been described, especially the “dress up” stuff (unless you consider jeans and a nice shirt, dressing up)…we also have not met many students who are from the “deep south” types of places described here…</p>
<p>Our first visit was during a 95 degree heat wave: yes, there were girls in sleeveless dresses and flip-flops as well as shorts and t-shirts…what else would you wear if it was that hot out??</p>
<p>we have, however, seen the incredibly friendly, “who are you?” “where are you from?” attitude from students, staff, locals in the ice cream store, waiters, etc…it is actually why my daughter claims she is never coming back…</p>
<p>on a relatively unrelated note, I know this is common among other schools as well but there is already a bunch (15-20) of kids meeting up on their own in the New York area…my daughter was really taken back by the number of people who have reached out to her…very happy…</p>
<p>I have to say that IMO the only kind of kid who could potentially be a “bad social fit” would be one who isn’t really into meeting new people/introverted etc…from the number of students we have met, so many different interests, but so outgoing!!</p>
<p>I had to laugh when I just read the last line of your post…my mom grew up in Brooklyn, NY and moved to “the country” when she & my dad were married. They moved to a very small town in Conn. where they bought their first house and their neighbors were cows!
:eek: :eek: Yeah, you’re right, talk about culture shock!!</p>
<p>I’ve mentioned on this thread before that my nephew, who grew up in Miami, went to Vanderbilt in Nashville, and has told us many times about the kids who dress up in shirt & tie to watch football games! Wow, to me that also would be culture shock!!</p>
<p>Mazel Tov to the Juanita acceptances! Sounds like emilybee & holliesue (and their children, of course!) will have many fine colleges to choose from.</p>
<p>Yabe: Enjoy that cruise! Please DO NOT log on to cc!</p>
Sounds like emilybee & holliesue (and their children, of course!) will have many fine colleges to choose from.</p>