<p>Glad many of you appreciate the sushi list. I was worried that I would get reprimanded again for going off topic. </p>
<p>If you liked the list there is more on the web site. Sushiwithmygirls.com.</p>
<p>The facebook article is pretty funny as well.</p>
<p>Enjoy</p>
<p>Uh oh. I completely recognized that list as everything my daughter says she is NOT looking for. (She would basically calculate a ratio of girls wearing Uggs and carrying Vera Bradley bags to girls wearing Chucks and carrying LL Bean backpacks.)</p>
<p>Unfortunately, two of her five schools are on that list…Eek!!!</p>
<p>Hi there, all. Socaldad and dwhite, I’ve sent you guys messages off list. Perhaps they’ll be helpful?</p>
<p>Take care,</p>
<p>Deborah</p>
<p>We had a discussion about what to do with commiting to Towson vs Binghamton. My son said he will commit to Towson if they will give him a single. Otherwise, he wants to wait and finish the process (seeing Binghamton, what happens with UT Dallas…)</p>
<p>I called Towson housing and explained my son’s situation. I was transferred to another rep at housing who said my son can wait until April 1 to decide and it will not make a difference in priority. They will try to accomodate the need for a single.</p>
<p>Called Binghamton and a single should be available with documented need. Need to notify Binghamton by April 1.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, my son received a package from UMBC today which says Yes on the big envelope and assume this is an acceptance! This is going to be a busy spring to go back to these schools.</p>
<p>Waiting to hear from USC and UT Dallas.</p>
<p>Many, many thanks to everyone here for your wonderful support, caring PMs, and sound advice. I really appreciate it!</p>
<p>Mdcissp- sounds like things are working out! Great!</p>
<p>mdcssip,</p>
<p>I am happy to hear that you got such a helpful response. I did not realize when I gave you advise yesterday that you had special circumstances. I am sure that while your upcoming months will be busy looking at all the alternatives, it will also be exciting. Try to enjoy this time, soon you will miss having these times with your son.</p>
<p>Enjoy the letter opening ceremony tonight. I hope you have many more.</p>
<p>mdcissp - congratulations! I am thrilled at the acceptances your son is getting - and it sounds like the single could work out as well. Keep us posted!</p>
<p>You have such self-restraint, mdscissp. My mom steamed open my one envelope, read the results, glued it closed again and pretended she was clueless. Fortunately she was honest enough to tell me about her weakness. The story has been family folklore ever since, with my own children coming at me with their many self-opened envelopes, waving gluesticks to break the tension(s). Good luck today!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Wait, is that wrong?</p>
<p>LOL, DeskPotato! You have to know my mom. She’s adorable. At the time, I knew that, like Martin Luther, she “could do no other.”</p>
<p>Paying3 - too funny. Definitely something I would do.</p>
<p>I had a “you know you are a Jewish mother when moment” a few nights ago - was looking at the newly expanded Hillel website at older son’s college - lamenting the fact he has not been involved. Looking at the list of officers - saw that a very cute girl from our same hometown was the co-Pres - decided that was a sign - e-mailed her - asked her to add my son to the listserv - but not to let on that I asked her to do so! She very nicely responded that she would add him to their distribution list and would not reveal the source of the request!</p>
<p>Hillel HIPPA! Smart cookiness. :Ding about both of you ladies!</p>
<p>You mean that steaming the envelope thing really works? I wish someone had told me sooner. I thought it was something only Lucy did to Ricky’s mail.</p>
<p>There’s a new staff position within Hillel, that amounts to an outreach person, who goes to find students in their dorms, greet and and invite them personally or hold small events in dorm settings. Maybe it’s just in very large universities. So often it is word-of-mouth that is key to bringing hesitant people in to just…try. </p>
<p>Anyway, RVM, kudos to you for setting the stage. Now if the co-pres wants to she can surely initiate her own request to your son, and you’ll never know that.</p>
<p>We all here talk about (and believe in) finding the right fit, but now that some acceptances are starting to come in, I’m wondering whether there is more than one kind of fit we should be concerned about. </p>
<p>Since we don’t live together, I haven’t talked to my D about her UMd acceptance yet or the nuances of the Freshman Connection, but I am anticipating that she might want to attend UMd. Maybe because of the name recognition, prestige, social, religious and background fit with other students, big time sports, college life, etc etc. Basically, a greater certainty as to what she would get there vs. various concerns about what may exist at other schools she’s been or might be accepted to (i.e. -questions of # of Jewish kids; being from a different part of the country; name recognition, social fit, college life etc. etc)</p>
<p>Honestly, I’ve never been keen on UMd, but I wondering now whether there may be some intrinsic value in what it could offer. And also whether chances of post grad jobs or grad school acceptance or “happiness” at a Big USNWR #56 National ranked school outweigh a #2 or #10 Regional School (and not our region to boot) or smaller further away #79 school. I’m not numbers obsessed, but some of those things it seems should be factors.</p>
<p>Opposed to those positives is the hunch/possibility (but not at all certainty) that she would “find herself” or come into herself more and perhaps take more part and develop more at a smaller, less known but perhaps more student oriented school.</p>
<p>I never really had these questions come up with my other two A students, it was always clear what they wanted, and where they wanted to go and they wound up going to their top or second choice. </p>
<p>Having looked for , found and gotten acceptances at schools “out of the box” are any of you also wondering about what might be the best choice?</p>
<p>Great, great questions. My D’s app list is absolutely soup-to-nuts, both in terms of general “quality” ratings and also within her major. Her acceptance list is very likely to be the same.</p>
<p>Off the top of my head, I want her to go to the school she is most excited about. She knows how to look at post-graduate opportunities and all of that. But I just want her to be as psyched as possible the day she’s moving into the dorm. I don’t want her thinking about whether she’s let us down, or hurt her future. I know she will have a great life with a degree from anywhere on her list, so fundamentally I just want her to go for it without second thoughts.</p>
<p>But she’ll have lots of thoughts during the decision period. I hope I can be helpful to her while she goes through it.</p>
<p>If it were only that easy, EmmyBet, so far my D has no school that she was absolutely psyched about. Unless she’s holding it all in, warding off the evil eye, waiting to see all the places where she’s accepted.</p>
<p>I just hope she doesn’t wind up pulling a Groucho.</p>
<p>mhc - you have asked very good questions - and I think these issues loom larger for B students than A students. I know some of us feel strongly that our students would be lost at a large university and need the more nurturing atmosphere of a smaller school, which also gives them more opportunities to shine. In my younger son’s case - I find it very telling that his favorite activity and the one he has taken on leadership roles in is BBYO - something his older brother did not do. Having lived in the shadow of his very accomplished older brother throughout his school career - this was territory he could claim for himself.</p>
<p>But as you point out, the smaller schools may have less name recognition and a smaller Jewish population as well. Less sports atmosphere and rah-rah too. A balancing act for sure.</p>
<p>My kid is probably kind of typical in having 20% schools that she’d run to and never look back, 50% schools that she’d be happy and proud to get into, and 30% schools that she knows are fine even though the rejections from the others would sting a bit. </p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear that any kid has a list where s/he feels kind of “oh, well” about most or all of them. That’s really a shame. I wish I could pull at will the wonderful post from last year where we all were reminded of all of the absolutely wonderful things about going to ANY college in the fall: interesting classes, new friends, independence, fun activities, new towns and cities to explore, sports, parties, etc., etc. </p>
<p>I think what maybe is saving me from feeling as worried about my D is that 1) she built her list very carefully, and I told her over and over that she should only apply to schools that she really wanted to go to; and 2) she really wants to go to college, period (obviously, or she wouldn’t have found so many she really wanted to go to).</p>
<p>She is a B+ student, a late bloomer, who did pull out a great ACT score at the last minute. But she found many wonderful schools that are matches and safeties for her, along with a couple of reaches she threw in just to see.</p>
<p>My D also is following a very accomplished sibling. But we made sure we said all along that this was her journey to take, to the destination that is right for her. We had to get over a few little chips on our own shoulders about “prestige” and “quality.” That was very important, so we could really join with her in the truly wonderful choices she has in front of her. But it took work, I’ll admit.</p>
<p>Make sure you tell your D all of the wonderful things you know about the schools she’s applied to, and especially the ones she’s gotten into. Be excited, and maybe it will be contagious. And remind her that it’s just as much about GOING to college as it is about going to WHICH college.</p>
<p>I know too many people who went to too many different kinds of schools to believe that anyone’s life really will be determined by the college they went to. What’s important is that they felt there was meaning in their education and that they grew and were ready to move forward with their life.</p>
<p>Great idea you had RVM! Let us know if your S decides to get more involved in Hillel…especially meeting with a cute girl from his neck of the woods! :)</p>
<p>Mhc: It’s very hard to choose a college. Even when you choose one, it is highly likely you will have “buyers remorse”…did I choose the right school, should I have chosen x instead of y or z…I think you are right when you say there could be several types of fits…</p>
<p>I agree with emmybet if the school option is affordable…to go with the one she’s most excited about…if there are none, then make lists of all the pros & cons to narrow down the choice.</p>
<p>Way earlier on this thread I mentioned my H’s cousins daughter who began her freshman year at Elon. Small, private, more attention, etc…it wasn’t for her. She transferred immediately to UMCP and is extremely happy. Closer to home, more Jewish kids, more rah, rah, I think…anyway, that’s just one example of doing the best you can with limited knowledge…we’ve talked about the difference between large schools vs. smaller schools in terms of internships, job placement, etc…there’s really no right or wrong answer!</p>
<p>How many acceptance’s is she waiting for? Is she narrowing the list down on her own at all?
It is not an easy process! But like Socaldad said…things have a way of working out!! Good luck to you both! :)</p>