<p>RVM: I think that you are on the right track in terms of schools. I went through a similar process with my daughter when she surprised us all with an ACT score of 31 last June. The new scores made most of the schools on her list safeties or matches, which alleviated her stress. She was still the same kid she had been before she got that score. She is easily intimidated, and I just couldn’t see her handling the competition at a reach school. She feels really confident going to a school where she fits in comfortably academically.</p>
<p>I do agree that you and your son should drive up and visit Delaware. It’s pretty similar to JMU, just farther North with more kids from the mid-atlantic, NJ and NY. Not to mention much better quality of Jewish life.</p>
<p>As we head in to the season of Junior’s visiting schools during the spring…I would like to encourage all who do to post a school by school report. it is great to hear what you all think as you visit. We might pick up a gem of info. i know some of you have done this with detail and elegance, just hoping more will add reports. </p>
<p>We will do a trip in April, and I will post my observations. </p>
<p>Thanks so much. I know you all know how useful this thread is. I appreciate all your contributions.</p>
<p>RVM: Love your strategy. With schools that are match/safety given the new ACT score, how wonderful to have a good shot at merit aid. Plus, throw in the early action strategy, your DS should have some options early - even if he doesn’t make his final decision in December, he will have acceptances. Congratulations! I will be PMing you about how you got DS to study for ACT. We did buy the book…</p>
Exactly! I still want him at a college where he will be at least in the middle of the class and feeling some level of confidence. Scraping into a reach school where he will struggle academically and be very frustrated was never on our horizon - no reason for it to be there now. Some kids will relish the challenge of a demanding reach school - have not seen signs of that characteristic as of yet.</p>
<p>RVM: do you know whether there’s any rhyme or reason to why some ACT scores may be released later than others? It doesn’t seem likely that the Feb. test had unusually high numbers of testers. I’m starting to wonder whether my D may have made an error in the registration process on the morning of the test. She didn’t take the test standby.</p>
<p>Regarding University of Tampa -My D applied and got into their honor’s program. The application is a snap. I had a long talk with theUSF Hillel director who really steered me away.He indicated it was not easy to be Jewish. There is a group trying to have more life and they use USF Hillel resourses. I lived in Tampa and my friends sent me articles from the local paper about the University. It is trying to elevate its programs. There have been issues with campus safety which I would look into. I would not describe the area as typical college. As with every school opinions are just that.
RVM congrats to your son. It does open merit possiblilities for sure. We visited U Del.It is most definately a big school experience and is much different than Elon. Your son has great opportunities and choices.</p>
<p>Levirim, I don’t know much about VCU but do know that there is a Jewish Studies program there: [Judaic</a> Studies](<a href=“Redirect - Virginia Commonwealth University”>Redirect - Virginia Commonwealth University) and a Hillel there also. Students interested in Jewish studies at VCU have two options - a minor in Judaic Studies, which consists of 18 credits, or a Certificate in Judaic Studies, which is awarded to students, including auditors, who complete six courses in Judaic studies.</p>
<p>The area of Richmond where it’s located is really very pretty. </p>
<p>There is a decent sized Jewish community in Richmond. I attended the Bar Mitzvah of a distant cousin in Richmond last January at a gorgeous Reform synagogue on (or just adjacent to) the VCU campus. It has originally been one of the earliest Sephardic Congregations in the US. They actually had original Tiffany stained glass windows. I’d seriously been considering having my D apply there until it appeared that she might be able to get into some “better” schools. I also know the odd (to me) fact that many national advertising agencies recruit from the graduates there.</p>
<p>peonies - Re ACT - no rhyme or reason that I am aware of. Would not assume she made a mistake on the registration, as their website says that results start being released on 2/28 and then will continue to be released.</p>
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<p>I also just noticed that my son’s essay score is there now - was not there on Monday. Essay improved from a 5 to a 6 - satisfied with that.</p>
<p>Thanks, RVM. It’s wonderful that your son is done with testing, and should be in a strong position for the colleges on his list. About the essay, that seems to be the least important piece of the testing for many colleges. But a 6 is a solid score in any event.</p>
<p>RVM: Its been a busy few days so I am just now getting to post, but it is so great to see your S’s wonderful success with the ACT. We have gotten to watch your process of bringing a plan of review for the ACT to fruition. How rewarding for you and your S! For so long it has sounded like Elon is a wonderful match for your S so I am sure it still is. How great that he has increased the possibilities for admission and merit aid with his score. Does this allow you to drop concern about ED and just go ahead with EA? I agree there is no need to seek out more competitive schools if your S isn’t driven to do that. </p>
<p>Levirm: I would only raise a question about the field if it didn’t seem to fit S2 or if it seemed he was attracted to it for the wrong reasons. From what you describe it sounds like S1 is a good mentor for S2. They could be laying the foundation for lifelong brotherhood and comraderie. I dream of my two developing that kind of rapport. I would try and have a discussion with S2 about what he loves about the field, what his longterm objectives are and get a feel for if these are achievable and satisfied via this current path. If the fit seemed wrong then I think I would do my best to share information about what seemed to be a better direction for him and as you said encourage fields that he might mention on his own that seemed to support his individual talents better. I think in this type of situation subtlty is everything and you would probably do better if he didn’t think you thought his current choice isn’t a good one for him. I think as parents all we can do is gently influence, the decisions have to be their own. If it seems like your input is an annoyance it probably won’t be influencial. It seems that even if competition with S1 is what first directed him to the field, it is only a bad choice if the field isn’t right for him.</p>
<p>spectrum - I think we are not discussing the EA/ED options at Elon until after his April visit. On one hand - if it is still his first choice - I see no reason not to apply ED and maybe do 2-3 other EA/rolling safety schools. As far as I can determine - their merit money is fairly modest and would not be adversely impacted by applying ED. (But I still want to ask about ED and merit aid and FA when we are there). </p>
<p>On the other hand - it would be kind of interesting to have him apply EA/rolling to the 5 schools on list - maybe throw in Tulane or UMiami just to see what happens - and then compare results. But that opens the door to a lot more “what-ifs”. For example, what if he is accepted at a school that is not his first choice but it gives a great financial package? Do we push him to attend there? Or worse - what if he is accepted at Tulane or Miami but the money does not work? Seems kind of pointless - and I already had that particular drama with S1!</p>
<p>I’d be perfectly happy with ED at Elon - and DH agrees - but we have months yet before making a final decision on that.</p>
<p>So wonderful parents, here is the dilemma I am working on now. Some of you may recall that S2 was in an automobile accident in January. Miraculously there were no injuries. He is just getting back to driving now but we are controlling the particular destinations. Let me tell you that after seeing this wreck it is frightening to have him go back to driving. He generally texts me whenever he leaves for and arrives at a destination. (Before or after driving, not during!) His accident was the result of ignorance, not wrecklessness, or improper behavior. I don’t know when we ever know we have given the kid all of the tools they need. We are just treading slowly. I know that the accident has added a new layer of caution to S’s consciousness, which is great.</p>
<p>As a result of the accident S receive a citation and we are bracing ourselves to see the damage to our insurance rates. Truthfully all of this seems minor and we just feel blessed that S could learn this lesson without any bloodshed. But here is the deal. He has incurred some very real expenses. He is in the second part of this all important junior year. (Those of you who have followed my posts understand that class rank at the end of Junior year is critical in TX publics). S was also diagnosed with ADD this year. He has been involved with athletics and I have come to see that this involvement is not only an important social outlet but is critical to his well being. I am mentioning these things because as much as I think it is important for him to take responsibility for expense I don’t think we will come out ahead if he does so at the cost of his academic success or compensatory strategies. I am reluctant to push him to get a job at least this school year. For the summer he is wanting to be an avodah at the URJ camp he has gone to since 3rd grade. This will not only not pay expenses but will result in him incurring more expenses. The program is costly. On the otherhand it will provide leadership opportunity and more importantly, this is the one time of year that he ever gets to be with Jewish friends and he has developed some amazing friendships over the years. S2 has a really strong sense of Jewish identity and I credit this largely to his camp experience. I don’t know the bottom line yet but assuming that we can, at least at the front end keep up with all of the expenses involved, what would principles of good parenting tell you to do with regard to S paying these expenses?</p>
<p>He’s a great kid, with a good sense of responsibility and really good friends. I believe that it is his dedication to his schoolwork that has allowed him to be successful inspite of the ADD and that is the reason that he went undiagnosed for so many years. </p>
<p>The bottom line is, I don’t want to push him to get a job that would interfere with schoolwork and athletic time this year. If I take these 2 items out of the mix then there really isn’t any job that I know of that he can get. I keep going back and forth on whether or not to sacrifice the avodah program to get a job. I’m on the fence about that. The only other possibility that I can think of would be to have him get a job senior year and begin paying off expenses then. Do any of you have any thoughts about this? Thanks for your help!</p>
<p>My son had a car accident the end of his junior year, his error in judgement, and not only was his car totaled so was the other poor guy who happened to be there! Although he was not cited (nice policeman), he was at fault and his insurance went up $400/year. With the exception of the increased insurance expenses, the insurance covered almost entirely the cost of a replacement car. The little amount that we did have to pay out of pocket we took out of his bar mitzvah/birthday savings account. I think his fear that we were going to kill him was punishment enough (plus the several weeks without a car while we argued with the insurance company about the payoff amount). I think these kids are young, and they are going to make mistakes. I would not take him out of sports or do anything to disrupt his school work. In the whole scheme of things, this is a lesson in life, albeit a costly one, and I am sure this was not recklessness- it was an error in judgment and sometimes those things happen.</p>
<p>spectrum, thank God your son is OK. That is the most important thing.</p>
<p>Could you loan him the money and sign a contract with a payment schedule starting at some point in the future when you think that he will be earning money?</p>
<p>Or, if you think that this is too delayed, could he start his own business of some kind so that he could do it on his own time and earn some money? (Ideas: a “spring cleaning” business - yard cleanups or house cleanups on a one-shot basis over his spring break or weekends with one client a day, turning over beds for people’s gardens and mulching, selling a line of something, putting stuff on eBay for people, managing this and taking a cut, creating websites for people, I’m sure that there are plenty of other ideas out there)</p>
<p>Our son incurred some expenses near the end of his senior year through stupidity - he basically did a prank and unintentionally caused some damage. We made him pay the money right away and face his “victim” and apologize.</p>
<p>Agree completely that taking a job during the school year might be too much. And the camp program sounds like a good fit/great experience for him. Would it be possible for him to do a very limited part-time job to help with expenses? I’m thinking along the lines of baby sitting, pet sitting, mowing lawns - the type of thing where he can do it on the weekends during the school year and have control over the hours - not get overwhelmed. He could continue doing this during senior year as well - save the “real” job for the following summer - after graduation. Besides, it is hard to find jobs for a hs student - and when you do - they pay pretty little. S2 has made more (in terms of the hourly wage) by pet sitting.</p>
<p>Spectrum: I think it’s important to consider that your son’s accident was the result of inexperience, not negligance or a poor decision. He’s already learned a good lesson and is taking driving more seriously. I wouldn’t rock the boat by adding a part-time job that would jeopardize his grades or sports involvment. I also wouldn’t change his summer plans. I agree with Flipper that these kids are young and will learn from their mistakes. Maybe you can set an amount of the expenses that you would like him to pay back within the next year. I like the suggestions of pet sitting and baby sitting.</p>