Colleges for the Jewish "B" student (Part 1)

Parents Forum
841

<p>"What do you do in Hillel?</p>

<p>We have tons of events throughout the semester in Hillel. These events are generally social, religious, or educational in nature.</p>

<p>Our primary programming is social and includes events from free barbeques and ice cream socials, dances and parties, to outdoor adventure trips and movies! Religious programming includes free Shabbat dinner’s, student-led Shabbat services, interfaith Seders break-the-fast parties, and much more!</p>

<p>Our educational programs range far and beyond, they have included guest lectures by ambassadors and journalists, politicians and world leaders, scholars and celebrities. Other programs have included “Sex in the Torah” discussion series, Holocaust Remembrance Weeks, and Israel Weeks.</p>

<p>At Hillel, we strive to put on programming that you want to come to, at no cost to you! Every week brings something new to Hillel, so be sure to check out our events page to see what’s going on now!</p>

<p>Who Participates in Hillel?</p>

<p>Anyone can participate in Hillel, there is no membership costs, or membership for that matter. If you consider yourself Jewish, consider yourself a member. All our events are open to the public, anyone, no matter their religion can attend.</p>

<p>A large number of people participate in Hillel, but each event draws a different amount of people. Some events see as little as 5 people, some as large as 2000. In the 2004-2005 school year, more than 1 in 4 JMU students participated in a Hillel Event.
Overall, there are around 800 Jewish students at JMU."</p>

842

<p>What often surprises active Jewish families is when students go to a Hillel event and meet someone who is simply open-minded and curious to participate in a warm Jewish activity. “So where did you meet that (nonJewish) guy/girl you’re dating?” “I met him/her at Hillel.” So believe me, anything can happen! </p>

<p>Everybody needs to be open. There’s a lot of movement into Judaism these days, including those who are technically not born Jewish but are seeking connection with their father’s side of the family. Som are simply “seekers” and Judaism has always welcomed them in, historically. So many situations. Please be open to the conversion-in process that’s happening all over the country. If your child dates someone who is not Jewish but curious enough about Judaism to have sought out Hillel all on their own, I for one see that as a positive boy or g.f. during college years. At my son’s LAC, every Shabbat dinner was 50 percent nonJewish kids because the vibe was so friendly, the food so good! When he dated outside of Judaism he felt good he could bring a girl to those Shabbat meals. When the relationship ran its course, as it did just naturally after years, the young woman had had a positive encounter with Jewish people that was part of her college years, too. </p>

<p>At my D’s very left-leaning LAC, Hillel was a joint organization with Halaal, the Muslim Student Association. Perhaps it’s the only one in the nation with this distinction, I’m not sure. However she said this was in name only, and in actual fact no mixing of events, mutual attendance at events, or big amounts of sociazling between both memberships occurred. It just looked interesting on paper that the two were a joint organization, Hillel-Halaal. Very atypical.</p>

<p>As far as Jewish raised students who are now atheists, simply understand on their behalf that there are many Jewish atheists; belief in God is not a prerequisite (different than the entry point for Christian faith). There are even self-proclaimed agnostic and one atheist rabbi, working away just as you’d imagine a rabbi would work.</p>

<p>I like to say Judaism is a diamond with many facets; you can be part of things without embracing them all. My personal experience in college years was never seeking out Hillel either, because the campus was 20% Jewish in population and the Hillel was very undeveloped in those days. My own 3 kids find Hillel terrific because they “never have to feel lonely” “can always find a sense of belonging.” That matters to new college freshmen but they don’t always know it yet.</p>

843

<p>a new thought to throw out there –</p>

<p>we live in an area where there is a good sized Jewish population and a number of day schools of various denominations. every year, around this time of the year, the local Jewish newspapers usually contain ads from the day schools congratulating their graduates and listing the colleges they’ll be attending. it’s not a 100% guarantee, but there is probably a fair chance that most day school grads are going to schools with at least some level of Jewish community. I know when my kids were looking for colleges, we’d browse through these lists to see if there were any schools we should look into.</p>

844

<p>I agree - besides the newspaper idea - I looked at the college counseling page for a local Jewish day school and they post their school Profile on-line - which includes a list of schools their students have been accepted to over the past few years. It was actually more diverse than I expected - while there were of course very Jewish schools such as Brandeis, there were also schools known to not have a lot of Jewish students, such as Wake Forest.</p>

845

<p>by the way – on the issue of Jews questioning their belief in God and other aspects of Judaism – an EXCELLENT book – How to Get More Out of Being Jewish Even If: A. You Are Not Sure You Believe in God, B. You Think Going to Synagogue Is a Waste of Time, C. You Think Keeping Kosher Is Stupid, D. You Hated Hebrew by Gil Mann</p>

<p>I’m probably not going to give an adequate description – but he basically talks about how there are different aspects of Judaism and you don’t have to buy into all of them to connect Jewishly. Maybe some kids won’t be ready connect to the book, but maybe it’ll also help some parents deal with their kids (or themselves) questioning their relationship to Judaism. Too many people think you have to buy into certain “truths” to “be Jewish” – Mann’s book basically says, no it’s ok even if you don’t.</p>

846

<p>Rockville Mom: Is it possible that the info. you have about JMU Hillel is outdated because it mentions 2004-2005 statistics (25% JMU students attend Hillel). If it is the same Hillel director since 2004, it is probably similar numbers today. However, if there was a change of staff, then it maybe more or less the description given. I think the kind of leadership at the Hillel makes a difference.</p>

<p>Also, my son expressed interest in JMU because it has one of the top food according to one of the college reviews (I think it was Princeton Review, not 100% sure), plus it has an excellent business school. However, the deal breaker is how far and remote it is from D.C. without a car. i.e. In addition to OOS tuition, we would have to buy him a car to get home.
I simply don’t want the added expense of a car when there are plenty of colleges to attend and you don’t have to have a car. Please let me know if you hear of anything different–i.e. does JMU have a bus to D.C. like U. of Pittsburgh (Pitt has a bus to this area Thanksgiving, winter and spring break for $50. round trip).</p>

847

<p>p3t: Only one atheist rabbi? There must be an awful lot of dishonest ones, then . . . .</p>

848

<p>mdcissp: Our experience with S1 was to apply to clear academic and financial safety schools, but with the understanding of where the bottom line had to be, S was allowed to apply to OOS publics and privates. While you know the sticker price you don’t really know the bottom line with FA and scholarships unless you apply. This is only seemed worth the trouble if the expensive school has qualities not available at less expensive safeties. We found as we explored there were variations that made each school S applied to unique. Once the acceptances/rejections/WL’s came it was time to weigh it all and it turned out to be a very good thing that we didn’t limit our aps to financial safeties…although we did sweat it some until we were able to get it all sorted out with FA.</p>

<p>I think I already said this in an earlier post, but S was completely comfortable with the idea of being the lone Jew on campus. He went through all of his grade school years that way. We didn’t really research Hillel but I did look for some Jewish presence in picking schools he applied to. He has participated in Hillel activities only rarely but particularly on the High Holy days and Pesach it was so nice that he had access to Hillel. He also got to go to Israel with the birthright program! I don’t think that his world would have fallen apart without an active Hillel, but I know that its presence on campus enhances his college experience and also makes it easier for him to hold onto the aspects of his Judiasm that are important to him. College life is such a new experience it is a plus to have access to opportunities that don’t initially seem important.</p>

<p>Because of S1’s experience I am really trying to keep my eyes open for S2 and an active Hillel.</p>

849

<p>Here’s the link for the JMU website:</p>

<p>[Welcome</a> to JMU Hillel](<a href=“http://www.jmuhillel.org/index.php/home]Welcome”>http://www.jmuhillel.org/index.php/home)</p>

<p>It is current because it shows the 2010 calendar. I’m thinking those older statistics relate to the fact that they might conduct a campus servey every few years. There was a place on the website where they asked for current input for an updated survey. I looked at the page with the Hillel officers - mostly from VA - but 2 from NJ as well.</p>

<p>The JMU website says they have an active ride board and are 20 minutes from the Staunton, VA Amtrak station. I’m not too worried on this issue - there would be enough northern VA students able to drop him at a Metro station on their way home and there are plenty of MD students as well. I figure if S1 was able to find rides to and from NC - VA should be even easier - so that’s not a big concern for us.</p>

<p>Agree with previous poster 110% about knowing the sticker price but not the actual cost you will pay until FA comes in - I think I have posted on other threads that for S1 - Wake Forest was the highest price tag school he applied to - over $50,000 - but we rcvd good FA - making it the least expensive school in reality. Package for 2nd year was almost as good as freshman year - so I always tell people not to eliminate higher priced schools - just make it clear to your kid that they will not be able to go there unless they do get a great deal.</p>

850

<p>@JHS - yer so right, there is more than one “atheist rabbi” </p>

<p>When I said “one” - I was thinking of the one atheist rabbi who wrote books, spoke on it, began a congregation around that idea in a Detroit suburb-- named Rabbi Sherwin Wine (z"l) who is deceased. Brilliant man. His movement is called the “Jewish Humanist Society” or “Society for Humanistic Judaism” something like that.</p>

851

<p>I know a few people have mentioned Juniata - so I thought I would look at that a bit today. I personally think it is kind of small - about 1450 students - and remote - but I also see some positive attributes that I want to mention.</p>

<p>"Why Juniata?</p>

<pre><code>* Juniata offers a 4-year graduation guarantee. 94% of students who graduate do so in four years or fewer.

  • Juniata offers a great education, within reach.
  • The only college offering Programs of Emphasis"
    </code></pre>

<p>They offer a graduation guarantee of sorts - you need to read about it on the website - but there are policies in place so that if you don’t graduate in 4 years, and have followed certain procedures, you may have additional tuition waived to complete your degree. I have never seen that before!</p>

<p>Very good merit scholarships.</p>

<p>The POE approach - rather than a set list of majors - gives more flexibility to those who want to combine interests.</p>

<p>One negative note - the Hillel seems tiny. The Hillel advisor is not even Jewish, which I find troubling. “Dave has been the Hillel advisor for a year and works to provide an amazing college experience and Jewish environment for Hillel members. Rev. Witkovsky is an ordained minister in the Church of the Brethren and has been chaplain at Juniata College since 1999. He is a graduate of Bethany Theological Seminary (Masters of Divinity) and Elizabethtown College.” I think this school would be one only for Jewish students who want tolerance - but are not in need of a large active Hillel. </p>

<p>I am not adding this school to S2’s list - but want to mention it as it might work for others.</p>

852

<p>rockvillemom: I have a friend who went to Juniata, loved the environment, but it was so small he became claustrophobic, needed a good Hillel (only 10 Jews then), and left for Appalachian State. He is happy now</p>

853

<p>Juniata: My D refused to consider it as a possible safety because the “rep” at a college fair did not pay enough attention to her. ;)</p>

<p>Children really do have strange reasons for the schools on their list.</p>

854

<p>Excellent summary by Rockville of Juniata. I wonder whether saying “94% of students who graduate” is a way to divert parents from asking how many transfer out–often an issue at tiny, remote schools.</p>

<p>Juniata was in Colleges That Change Lives. It illustrates one of the frustrations facing parents on this thread–I always thought that with the power of CTCL endorsement behind it, any college would attract a lot of Jewish kids. Other than a top 50 USNWR rating, what label carries more weight with parents looking for small schools than CTCL? Yet Juniata has a miniscule Jewish population.</p>

<p>I suspect Juniata is very anxious to attract more Jewish kids and would be generous with merit aid. I believe a church-affiliated, but not overtly religious CTCL school is genuinely welcoming to Jewish kids and the students who attend will be open and friendly.</p>

<p>The reason why this thread will be a major resource long after Rockville’s kids graduate is that those looking for a quality small non-suitcase school which will accept B/B+ students and where Jews make up more than 10% of the population–or even 5%–will find precious few alternatives, even in those states with a substantial Jewish population.</p>

855

<p>Regarding Juniata, I know a kid, from a Conservative Jewish background, who lasted one semester, was miserable and transferred. I don’t know any details except the parent said it’s not a school for a Jewish kid from Long Island-whatever that means.</p>

856

<p>Queen’s mom–kids are like dogs hearing sounds we can’t–there is a long thread of bizarre reasons why kids crossed off colleges. They may zero in on one student who is looks too nerdy, too preppy or too weird and head for the car.They are often terrified of the process; unable to tell one school from another; and grasping at straws to narrow the field or to assert some power over the process.</p>

<p>Then again, how many of us have met parents who crossed off schools because of one rumor (“too much drinking”; “lots of drug use”; “lousy with aid”; “suitcase school”) because their own list seemed too long to manage?</p>

857

<p>Jews are about 2 percent (or less?) of the US population. Just because someone is Jewish doesn’t mean you have the same values or will be friends. I know that my daughter probably has more in common with a Catholic kid from a small town than she does with a Jewish kid from LI or NYC. I purposefully sent her to a Jewish sleepaway camp in the Hudson Valley so that she could experience what for her was a completely foreign culture. I guess what I am trying to say is that it can be a very good thing to go out of your “comfort zone”. Who knows, your kids first job could be in the Midwest where he or she is one of a handful of Jews. Perhaps going to a school that only had a small Jewish population but was accepting and welcoming will make your child better prepared to live anywhere in this country-the vast majority of places having small Jewish populations ( even as close to NYC as where I am in Binghamton). Just one person’s opinion! Not trying to say you have to agree, just giving a different perspective.</p>

858

<p>It could be that a small Jewish population prepares a child better for the real world. Most of all, I think parents need to focus on fit for the child. A child who spends a lot on clothes and enjoys one-upping his friends is not likely to be a fit for my child, even if they were both bar mitzvahed. A child who is very interested in Israel, however, may feel out of place in a school where no one else cares.</p>

<p>For those seeking a small school, as I was, the choices are so few that adding even a 5% requirement would have left too few choices. Those seeking larger schools have many more options.</p>

859

<p>I completely agree withyou on “fit”!</p>

860

<p>Agree with you guys to an extent - I have sort of the opposite issue in that my kids have grown up in a heavily Jewish area - it is also a very diverse area - so they have many Jewish friends - but also friends of various races and religions. For me, it’s about trying to find a college that has everything else we want, without being exclusively white and Christian. I would not be comfortable sending my son to a college where there were 10 Jewish kids - would not work for me. It’s not just about the number of Jewish kids - it’s about diversity. </p>

<p>My sister - who is not religious in the least - has lived in Kansas and in Missouri - and is often the only Jewish person in her workplace or her circle of friends. She does not seem to mind it - would not work for me. I certainly have plenty of non-Jewish friends and co-workers - but for me - there is always a little added connection when it is a Jewish friend. I agree with you Holliesue that just because someone is Jewish does not automatically make us friends - when I reflect back on middle school - the “mean girl” clique was primarily Jewish - and I certainly was not friends with any of them. But I do think it would be very uncomfortable for S2 in particular to be in a setting where there are very few Jewish kids and he was the odd man out. Going away to a college - going out-of-state - he’s already branching out from his comfort zone - no need to exile him religiously as well.</p>