<p>I wish CC had a like button!</p>
<p>Chocchipcookie was kind enough to ask about my children. I am the father of two, a son and a daughter. At 63 I am sometimes mistaken for their grandfather. My daughter is 19 and finishing her freshman year at Middlebury in Vermont. She is the A student academically but B- socially. She is shy and compulsive, the type who would panic in high school if she’d left her ID lanyard at home. We’re trying to get her to loosen up and be a little easier on herself, maybe break a minor rule or two, turn in an assignment late, accept a lower grade (I think a C would do her a world of good–get it over with and learn there’s nothing to be afraid of). She wanted to go to college in the northeast and get away from Texas for at least a little while. We thought this was an excellent idea. She’s had some problems with homesickness, loneliness, and stress about the workload, but she has done some things to break out of her shyness. She had worked for years toward the goal of being a professional ballerina but a broken leg in her junior year put an end to that dream. Now she wants to be a writer, perhaps the only profession that pays less than dancing.</p>
<p>My son has Asperger’s and dysgraphia. He has always loved books but had severe dyslexia until he was 8, when he began to read and then moved rapidly to a 12th grade level (a tribute to the plasticity of the young human brain). He became an excellent writer (with the help of spell check). Socially he has done much better than most people with Aspergers’ but he will still occasionally misread situations. He has always been brilliant in history and classics, and has done well in English. Math and the sciences were another matter. Having lived in Ireland and being familiar with the university system there, I encouraged him to apply to universities in the UK. I knew that he would have problems getting into a good American college and would also have problems with the core curriculum. In the UK he could concentrate on history from the start. Moreover, his ‘problem’ would seem more like eccentricity than pathology there, and he wouldn’t have to drive (he never learned).</p>
<p>We worried about sending him so far away but consoled ourselves that we had friends and family in Ireland and Scotland in case he got into difficulties. Actually, however, he did very well. He earned a BA with first class honours in History from University College London and is now working for his MPhil in Classics at Cambridge. He even represented UCL on the BBC’s University Challenge program. He learned to live on his own, to navigate London successfully, and to manage overseas flights back and forth. He has had some rough patches and made some bone-headed mistakes but nothing really serious apart from a technical word-count error on an important paper his second year that could have cost him dearly (he exceeded the word count and the department invoked a new rule, subsequently modified, requiring a failing grade for this infraction: he went into a tailspin for a week or so but recovered). He will stay in England if it is at all possible.</p>
<p>So now we worry more about our A student.</p>
<p>Irishdoctor: Thank you for sharing a bit about your children! Please continue to keep us posted on their progress. I for one will have an interest in their well being.</p>
<p>I am jumping in from page 917, so I apologize if this has been talked to death.
This thread began with the full intention of being a resource for parents of B-students. As the initial group of us got to “know” each other better, the topics meandered a bit. But it always found its way back to the original topic. </p>
<p>B-students, as has been pointed out, are a slippery lot; there are so many variables to consider. Does your student get all B’s in mostly Honors classes? Or mostly B’s with some A’s and C’s thrown in? Etc, etc. Thus, the big tent philosophy that works so well here. </p>
<p>With regard to the master list of colleges, maybe we <em>should</em> be more clear about which of our students we submit. Perhaps a list that is directly relevant to the B kids would be more useful to the parents who look to this thread for helpful information but don’t necessarily follow all of our conversations. </p>
<p>With regard to the title, please keep it the same!!</p>
<p>One more thing: the folks who have gravitated here are kind, supportive and truthful. It’s a nice place to hang out.</p>
<p>Irishdoctor:</p>
<p>Glad to hear about your kids! So the son is in England and finished with his first degree…and your D is the same age as my S…19 and finishing their first year of college! We looked at Middlebury for my S, but alas, there were almost no Jewish kids there 
and too far away from a major city (Burlington wasn’t big enough for him) and that’s how he ended up at Tufts…lots of Jewish kids and near Boston! :)</p>
<p>There are a few posters from Texas that post here! Is your D back in TX for the summer?</p>
<p>Palmharbor: how many kids do you have? I’m trying to get a feel for the newer posters and how many kids they have…who’s in college and who’s in high school…Mom2009…your child will be at UVM? Cama…your child is at UBuffalo? What about Oura…sorry if I’m spelling your name incorrectly…and who else is newer?</p>
<p>I agree with the posts regarding the tone of this group. I keep lurking (and occasionally posting) because just about every other forum has me wigging out about whether my son will get into his dream school (which clearly isn’t good enough by CC standards) or become an abject failure. This thread keeps me sane by providing a supportive reality check.</p>
<p>My S is a good kid. Laid-back like many of the other kids discussed here. He is just fine with the B+'s that drive me crazy since they could easily have been A-'s at least. But, to my astonishment, he keeps coming out ahead. Every time I think, “Well, he’s screwed that up and XYZ will never happen for him now”, it all works out.</p>
<p>Some times that really frustrates me. If he would just have a few disappointments, perhaps he would kick it in and move beyond Mr. Minimal Effort. On the other hand, if he can remain as zen as he is and still be happy with what he is accomplishing, I feel really stupid asking him to stress more for a percentage point higher grade.</p>
<p>So, I appreciate hearing about everyone’s “normal” and “slightly above average” kids. At least here, I feel I can relate and, at times perhaps even vent, without admonishment.</p>
<p>Irishdoc thanks so much for the info about your son. Our youngest who is a boy has asperger’s syndrome, ADHD, and sensory intergration disfunction. Hes 12yrs old now and thru OT/PT and behavioral modification counseling hes come a long way. He still has horrible dysgraphia. His favorite subjects are math and social studies/history but really has to be pushed to get his english and reading work done. His report card always looks like a rollercoaster with A+ in subjects he likes and Cs in the classes he doesn’t. With him we don’t sweat the grades as much as how he is doing socially. We have found a small school with very small classes that seem to have helped over the last couple of years but still finds it difficult to understand the right response in certain situations. It makes me very happy to hear of a child that can find their place in the world despite all the odds that might seemed stacked against them.</p>
<p>
So funny… I had a similar conversation with DS12 tonight. He is hoping for an 80 in his classes, so that he can avoid taking final exams. I was all: “Wow! An 80… Nothing like reaching for the stars… Oh well…”</p>
<p>911C2S- I agree to skip that topic. In fact, as I was reading it, my eyes glazed over and I lost interest in what it even said. </p>
<p>I am one that does not “fit in” to the Jewish B student parent mold. However, I subscribed to this thread over a year ago to get information on schools and was quickly drawn in to the loving and accepting attitude toward each other that was not prevalent on other threads. While I have a high GPA kid who isn’t a super-great tester, I am not a parent who likes to climb the food chain and compete. It turns me off completely. I want my kid to be happy and healthy and to learn. If I can help someone else get that for their kid, I will. I have needed so much help and I have found it here, along with a huge dose of compassion and many valuable lessons on “loving the kid on the couch.” </p>
<p>So thank you for your inclusiveness and for this thread… and for letting us “outliers” stay!</p>
<p>MoMom2 wrote:</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>I laughed aloud when I read that. That is EXACTLY how I feel. I read the thread for my kids’ class, try not to freak out, and come here to get back in touch with how I really feel. Although, to be fair, as my kid’s class thread has gotten larger, it has loosened up a little bit. Still, I have to work to keep my eyes on my kid and not be intimidated by all the things she COULD be doing or winning or accomplishing.</p>
<p>
…ditto…Amen!</p>
<p>Newfaith- My youngest (S 10yo) has ADHD also. It has been a difficult thing- not so much to accept b/c honestly, the label bothers me not a bit- but to try to manage, to help him be his best. He’s on medication but I take him off for summer and can’t wait to get him off this year. His dose is not high enough anymore but since there are only about 3 weeks left, I don’t want to raise it and then take him off so we’re just holding on by our fingernails.</p>
<p>Ok. I am in need of a reality check a little sooner than I had expected. I need to know from the last years group if it is to be expected that junior year finals week (otherwise known around here as “the last ditch effort week”) will be one of the most stressful times ever, or at least until application time rolls around? I sent DS a text about how his math teacher said he didn’t do the extra credit and basically told him that his minimal effort ways were going to catch up to him. He wrote back that he did, she put the work in the wrong pile, and that I need to love him for who he is rather than the kid I want him to be and to get off his back.</p>
<p>Sheesh! First of all, I do love him for the kid he is - a great kid - and he does truly know it. I do, however, tend to harp a bit as the year draws dangerously close to a close and he still teeters on B/B+ and B+/A-.</p>
<p>So, I am wondering if others are going through similar stress. Although I will still stress when he’s in college, I think it will be good for me (and him) to not be able to check his grades online every day. I am trying to be zen and to recognize that he will be fine with whatever grades he ends up with. But, boy, I am feeling challenged today.</p>
<p>Momom2: I think it’s just fine to remind your son that come next year, he will be grateful for the harping. Dig deep, and try to remain calm. This, too, shall pass.</p>
<p>“I sent DS a text about how his math teacher said he didn’t do the extra credit and basically told him that his minimal effort ways were going to catch up to him.”</p>
<p>“I think it’s just fine to remind your son that come next year, he will be grateful for the harping.”</p>
<p>It’s all part of our job descriptions…</p>
<p>I love this thread for the sanity and perspective that all of you offer.</p>
<p>I had to remind myself with my B/B+ student that, afterall, her colleges choices were based on her effort. I already went to the college I wanted.</p>
<p>With my A student (who is fizzling out over the past several months of junior year - terrible timing), I like it SO much better here than on the rest of the intense CC board, where everyone thinks that that the only places for engineering are MIT and Duke (and the like). “If he can just get his ACT up to 35 or his SAT to 1450…” Give me a break.</p>
<p>Moving on…</p>
<p>RE: Hofstra - This is practically in my backyard (about 30 min away). A friend of mine from NJ has a DD there (just finishing soph year). She hardly goes home during the semester. Just one anecdote, FWIW.</p>
<p>IrishDoctor - Glad to have you here. My DD would LOVE to work/intern in London during the summer of 2013. I may be PMing you…</p>
<p>Samtalya - I’ve got my US Open tix (Mon/Tues/Thurs, first week, as always). This is my last year with DS. Hope to see you there. Next year, I will definitely coordinate a day with you as my US Open buddy will be gone…</p>
<p>Momom2,</p>
<p>I would like to remind you, that it all works out the way it is supposed to in the end. Your son will be in good shape one year from now. We have all been where you are now, made ourselves crazy worrying, did the right things to help our kids, and got a happy and correct result. Take one deep breath, stay the course, and believe…</p>
<p>LINYMOM: if three isnt a crowd, I would like to be included in a “day at the open” next year with you and Samtalya…!! Would be a blast!!</p>
<p>rodney: Absolutely!</p>