My daughter who is now a college freshman sounds similar. She also has an obvious disability which adds another level of stress for her in a new environment.
We focused on smaller schools and those without an overly competitive academic environment. She felt that her energy would be spent adjusting to being away from home and making friends. She wanted to learn and be engaged academically but not be stressed over school work. She had a few reaches on her list but was focused on schools that were a match for her academically.
The other thing we thought was very important was how the school integrated freshman. We paid a lot of attention to what resources and programs were available to ease her in. Things like small freshman seminars, peer advisors, pre orientation programs were all important factors. Campus culture and friendliness of students was very important as well and can’t be determined with 100% certainty but she did spend time on each campus went to classes, ate lunch with a current student etc. She found those visits helpful. While most of these visits were positive there were some that stood out.
We also read a lot of reviews and CC posts to try to find schools known for a warm, accepting, bin- cut throat environment.
The first month has definitely been a stretch for her so be prepared that even if you find the “perfect” place it’s still a huge adjustment but I do think the time we spent over analyzing each environment was well spent. Best of luck on your search. I hope she finds a place where she is comfortable.